I’m jealous of my fellow geeks at the Star Wars 3oth anniversary celebration. I couldn’t make it, so here I am, in the middle of the night, reliving my Star Wars experience. Oh, who am I kidding? Tonight is no different than any other night.
Until Return of the Jedi came out in 1983, the only other time I had been to the movies was in when I was four years old. The year was 1980 and my entire family went to a showing of Flash Gordon. I spent about half of the movie sitting in the lobby with my mom (I started screaming when Flash got attacked by that green crabby thing on Arboria – so much for being a big girl). What does that mean for Star Wars? It means I have no idea when I saw it for the first time, but it’s always been around in one way or the other, and I’m sure, is responsible for a good deal of my geekiness.
I should sue.
This is how I grew up Star Wars.
1977: Star Wars – Lisa is a Gurgling Poop Machine
I don’t have a picture from 1977, but let’s just say I was a gigantic baby. Seriously, like Jabba the Baby. (Jabbaby! ) I had no awareness of Star Wars or the giant geek I would become. My parents had the Star Wars soundtrack on vinyl and that was my first intro to it all. I had no idea what I was listening to, just liked the music and begged my mom to play it over and over again. That, and Abba Greatest Hits (Abba was my first favorite band and I still love them, so there).
1980: The Empire Strikes Back – The Dawning of the Geek
I’m still not old enough to go to the movie theater, so I stay with the neighbors and play with Kimo, their black terrier, while my parents and brother go see The Empire Strikes Back. This is how I remember it, but I’m always finding out that a lot of things I remember from between 1976 and 1981 didn’t really happen. Case in point, my golden retriever Charlie, who according to my family, never existed.
That year I was Princess Leia for Halloween. I have no idea why I’m wearing a mask, and I’m sure my mom argued with me about it. I look like a Leia-Stormtrooper hybrid.
1983: Return of the Jedi – I Didn’t Start Screaming!
I’m six years old and have traded in my Smurfs lunch box for a metal Return of the Jedi lunch box. That, combined with the stitches in my tongue (playground accident #27) makes me the weirdest girl in Miss Gottfield’s first grade classroom.
I got to stay up late on a school night to go Return of the Jedi on opening day. The theater was crammed, we were standing in line outside for a while, and for the first time since we drove cross country in that air-conditioning-free Datsun station wagon, my brother and I are strangely well behaved. Mom’s face is pinched and her jaw is clenched, meaning she’s ready to step out of line and take us home at the first sign of a tongue sticking out of anyone’s mouth. Surprisingly, we made it through the whole movie without bothering each other. It helped that Mom sat between us.
For a couple years after that, when my teacher would assign the inevitable “Best Day of My Life” essay, I would write about going to see Return of the Jedi. That would eventually be eclipsed by my first New Kids on the Block concert.
1999: The Phantom Menace – Was It Really Worth 18 Cans of Beer?
I’m 22 and live in Anacostia, which is like the Mos Eisley of Washington, DC, but with more crack. Why? Because I joined AmeriCorps and that’s where the US government put our dorm. A representative of my geek clique waited in line for a couple days to buy Phantom Menace tickets for the group – his fee was the price of his ticket and a 12 pack of beer (which we weren’t supposed to have in the AmeriCorps dorm, so the 12 pack cost us another 6 pack for the security guards’ silence).
As much as I dislike Phantom Menace now, at the time, it didn’t seem so bad. Star Wars was back, and that was all that mattered to me. But, now I have three years to kill until Episode II. What the hell am I going to do until then? There’s not even any point in being in the country, so I joined the Peace Corps.
No, really. When another volunteer asked why I had joined, I said “I’m just killing time until Episode II comes out.” That’s just as legitimate a reason as “It will help me get into medical school.”
2002: Attack of the Clones – A Silent Movie Beats a Stinky Carnie
I didn’t have any geek friends in Arizona, so I went to Florida to see Attack of the Clones with my mom and dad. Taking Greyhound for the 2000 mile trip seemed like fun for the first 500 miles, then it sucked. It sucked ass. Especially when an out-of-work carnie got on the bus in Ft. Stockton, TX and the only open seat was next to me. He was stinky. I pretended to be dead.
Attack of the Clones needed to be really, really good to make up for that, and it pretty much was, but there were some problems. At the theater in Jacksonville, everything was fine through the previews, but when the Lucasfilm logo appeared, the sound system went out and stayed out for the first fifteen minutes or so despite several people in the audience complaining to the manager. While that was going on, the theater lights were stuck in the “on” position.
Remember Charlie, my golden retriever? This was also the time I found out he wasn’t really there. I finally got up the nerve to ask my mom and dad what happened to him, and they looked at me with that crinkled forehead look they get when I’ve done something weird. “We never had a dog,” Mom said. “But, Mom, I remember!” I replied. “I used to watch cartoons with him!”
It would still be a couple of years before I saw my first therapist.
2005: Revenge of the Sith – It’s Just Not the Same as a Grown Up
Revenge of the Sith sucked all around, even though I liked it. It almost tore John and I apart, which would have been ironic since we first made eye contact over the pages of a Star Wars Insider magazine. We had moved in together just a couple of days before we went to see it, and we had such different reactions and reflexes. John was already ripping on it as we were leaving the theater, trying to engage my concurrent ripping and getting frustrated that my responses were limited to “uh huh.” I wanted to let it marinate, just for an hour or two, before I started. Then we argued and I wound up yelling “Can’t I just like it for a few minutes?”
Despite all of the problems, including horrible dialogue, lousy direction, silly plot developments and the lame way it all ended, I’m still a Star Wars dork and am really disappointed I’m not at the Star Wars Celebration right now, walking around dressed up like Princess Leia again. Except now that I have that gurgling poop machine under control, I can wear the metal bikini.
Related Stuff:
Lisa Fary's earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She's angry that it's 2011 and she still doesn't have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram. 
I have had similar experiences. It's funny to read I am not alone. I hope someday my kid will enjoy it as much as I did.
Oh, this was fun to read! My contribution to the anniversary is an article where a dozen writers share their memories of the first time they saw Star Wars.
http://www.yesbutnobutyes.com/archives/2007/05/the_first_time.html
All I can say is that your boyfriend/fiance/husband is a very, very, very lucky man! I am still looking for a good female Star Wars geek of my own.
SW:ANH-I wasn’t even around yet, SW:ESB-I went inside my mother’s stomach just days before being born, SW:RoJ-I’m told the first movie I went to, though I don’t really remember I do know that I’ve always loved Ewoks. Watched all of these soo many times. When the rerelease happened in the 90s my dad and I went to each one on opening weekend.
PM-Mom and I went to the midnight showing, went the next day with dad. Though my parents are divorced, we all still love our Star Wars. AoC-I got the tickets to the midnight showing for me and my friends, then we all went, then we all trashed it.
RoS-Dad and I went to see it, then mom and I went to see it, I think I went one other time, though it never got any better with any of these viewings
As a late bloomer to the Star Wars, I feel your pain. While it is difficult to comprehend now, I lived my first sixteen years as a Star Wars-free human before watching all three original movies in one day at a friends house in high school. Looking back, the second half of my life is has been enhanced immeasurably but that day. Your pain of your early, lost, Star Wars-absent years is thus my own as well.
I have just completed the arduous rigours of moving house. T’was a ridiculously painful process akin to self pleasure with nettles… but this is neither here nor there ladies and gentleman. Indeed, I have a thrust for this diatribe and I am getting to it AND it is Star Wars related… well I say that but its mostly about me and the bruises I got moving 1000+ comics up and down two flights of stairs.
I digress! This new flat is vastly bigger than the old to wit I have been able to loosen my long stored collection of moulded plastic from its various cardboard storage receptacles. OH the rapture as I unpacked Skeletor and stood him, in resplendently evil blue with slightly bent snake staff, atop the TV. OH the pain as my new flat mate came in and said “You are not distributing that crap around the lounge ya big geek!” OH the joy as I deposited her freshly throttled corpse in a nearby skip.
SO I retreated to the peace my inner sanctum and waded through the detritus of my life to pull eagerly at my packages. It was there I started to unravel my Star Wars figures… here was Han, paint chipped and gun missing, Darth with cloak stuck with tape and sabre slightly chewed and Leia… well… you don’t want to know but lets just say she won’t make it on Ebay. Yes, a right sorry state they are in I must say but these were wounds gained from WAR!!! WAR I SAY!! These little fella’s went through many a battle and not just with each other. When the Star Wars fad faded Luke was tossed against Mum-Ra as cannon fodder, later Chewy was ripped limb from limb by Megatron. They have survived campaign after campaign of… actually talking of Mum-Ra…what was he about anyway? Scared of his own reflection??? Can you imagine Roger Moore freaking out at his own image? NO!! Which proves that British, martini sipping, eyebrow wizards are tougher than mutant, space mummies any day of the week.
Where was I? Oh yeah. After I did my customary unpack and play I watched Empire strikes back. HOW fricking cool is General Veers. Screw Boba Fett and Wedge! Veers is the unsung sub character to bet on. He is in charge of the AT-AT’s, hes the only Imperial Commander NOT to make a complete hash of things, he kicks the rebel’s pussy butts AND, according to Wikipedia, his first name is Maximillian. And I haven’t even begun to praise the size of his helmet… HUGE!!!
Well. I’m staying at Mother Tamworthian’s at the mo and she has just presented me with a Veers worthy bacon sandwich so I’m off.
I was 6 when Star Wars came out, and can happily say I saw each movie in the theatre (and again withthe special editions) and like you, it colored my entire life. My little brother was born six months after it came out, and I’ve talked about seeing it so many times, I still hear him swear he was there. (that’s HIS Charlie). At my wedding, the bride and groom on our cake were Princess Leia (in white dress, with glued on veil and beaded flower bouquet) and Boba Fett (I pressed for Han, but hubby was adamant. I settled for the glued on purple bow tie, and called it good). The recessional music was “The Throne Room” from Ep 4, as my father had threatened not to give me away if I played anything but “here comes the bride” for the earlier part. He was convinced I’d play the Imperial March – as if!! I’m not Vader! You just don’t play the bad guys theme when you’re getting married. I think it’s considered tacky or something. Either way, seems like you’d arrive at the altar to find your groom missing (if he were smart!). Hubby and I are both huge fans, and although Lucas did his best to destroy that with Ep 2 and 3, (don’t even get me started on the Whiny Ass Loser Anakin Rant), we still hold the originals and the GOOD parts of the new movies in high esteem.
And Flipping Han shot first. Grrrr.
I remember it well! You have a talent Lisa
Me and my girls we all worked at the same computer lab at our school and the last day we closed early and had a Star Wars party we watched those 3 movies and played the DVD trivia game. It was the best.
1-3 aren't the best but there is Hayden Christensen so I'll watch them. Plus I think that Queen Amadala is cool and I love it in 2 where she gets to kick a little ass.