True Blood: Radioactive

True Blood didn’t just jump the shark. True Blood tortured the shark. Then, True Blood jumped the shark, killed it, and made shark fin soup. Lastly, True Blood pooped out the shark fin soup. And that poop was converted into ink, with which this episode’s scripts were printed.

True Blood: Life Matters

Yes, I loved Terry. I was sad to see him get killed off…..but, you know? He wasn’t a major character. He wasn’t a character of enough import to warrant spending half the episode on his funeral and clip show.

True Blood: In The Evening

Fairies may put crystal chandeliers in trees and run a night club that plays only Abney Park, but other than that, all they do is flit around, hiding from vampires and pooping light.

True Blood: Don’t You Feel Me?

I think I figured out what’s different about this season. It feels like the new showrunner is trying to clean up after the character mess created by Alan Ball and Friends.

True Blood: At Last

“The one with the crazy hair.” I fail to see what’s so crazy about Nicole’s hair. Oh, right. The werewolf who said that is a racist.

True Blood: You’re No Good

I don’t know if Bill bursting into a fireball was done for comedic effect, but it sure as hell worked for me. That was comedy gold. GOLD. Also, everything Rutger Hauer does is awesome.