A new Des Moines Register poll shows Barack Obama in the lead for the Iowa race with the support of 32% of “likely caucus goers”. Hillary Clinton and John Edwards whined, “NA UH!!! He is not!!” then shoved their fingers in their ears and chanted, “We can’t hear you! LALALALA!” Related Stuff:
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Prominent Hillary Clinton supporter Governor Ted Strickland of Ohio said Iowa doesn’t deserve its prominence in the presidential elections – a statement that has sent the Clinton campaign into a motherly attempt to reassure Iowa that it is unique and special and the pretty girls are just jealous because Iowa is so smart. Boys really [...]
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John McCain has admitted to being a zombie – a zombie powered by truth. Or he admitted that he thinks he’s Will Smith. It’s hard to tell with Grumpy Grampers. Related Stuff:
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The grassroots Ron Paul campaign has hit World of Warcraft. On New Year’s Day, Paul supporters will march from Ironforge to Stormwind in Azeroth. Related Stuff:
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Barack Obama’s buttery goodness showed up at an Iowa middle school yesterday. No, really. There was a butter statue of B-Rock under the basketball hoop. Related Stuff:
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I want a president who will personally deliver coffee and doughnuts to my house in the dead of winter. Related Stuff:
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Mike Huckabee shot ducks in Iowa this morning. He may have named one of them “Mitt”. Related Stuff:
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The candidates take a break for Christmas, but that didn’t stop Rudy Giuliani from giving America the best gift ever: a clean bill of health. His, not yours. Related Stuff:
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Rudy Giuliani is speaking out about the “very bad headache” he suffered last week. In a show of tremendous restraint, Rudes managed to discuss the headache without mentioning 9/11, but he did mention his prostate. Related Stuff:
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Mitt Romney’s Mormon upbringing saved his first son from a life covered in poop. Related Stuff:
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Did you know Britney Spears has a little sister named Jamie Lynn? I didn’t. Did you know she’s 16, the star of a Nikelodeon show and pregnant? Me neither! But, Mike Huckabee is aware of all of this and is pleased The Littlest Spears isn’t aborting her baby. Related Stuff:
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Tom Tancredo disappointed the world yesterday when he didn’t announce that he was a cyborg or even that he was inviting us to his Christmas potluck. He seems to have felt it was more appropriate to state the obvious: he can’t win Iowa and is dropping out of the race. But he had fun while [...]
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Now Mitt Romney is pissed off at Time Magazine for putting Vladimir Putin’s mug on the cover as “Person of the Year”, which indicates that Mittens hasn’t read the article and possible doesn’t understand the concept of Person of the Year. Or, he may just have a bit of photo-jealousy. Mitt’s own Time Magazine cover [...]
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Attention everyone! Tom Tancredo has something important to say! He says it’s something major! He won’t make the announcement until Thursday, but we at Pink Raygun would like to think he’s going to publicly respond to the Geek Survey. (Although, it’s more likely for Tancreepo to reveal his true nature – as a cyborg). Related [...]
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There was a time (called “The 90s”) when Bill Clinton spoke and perked my ears up to listen (unless I had food poisoning again and I was busy knocking over Secret Service agents to get to the restroom) because what he said would be moving, inspirational and not the least bit wackadoo. But, when he [...]
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Does Mitt Romney really want to mess around with an Arkansas guy who has a gun toting wife, a scary kid and Chuck Norris on speed dial? Apparently he does, because Mittens is going around calling Mike Huckabee names and demanding apologies again. Related Stuff:
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The good news is that John Edwards has gotten Kevin Bacon to stump for him. The bad news is that Kevin Bacon brought his band. The even worse news is that The Bacon Brothers may be more popular than Joe Biden. Related Stuff:
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What do you get a Wookie for Christmas when he already has a comb? Dennis Kucinich just might have that answer: the Phantom Voting Booth of the 2000 presidential election. Related Stuff:
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