By Brian Thompson
I. The Setup
Several years ago, I experienced something I can only describe as terrifying. It was a rainy Saturday, and I had nothing to do. Obviously, these were the days before broadband Internet and Grand Theft Auto IV. So I schlepped to the local multiplex and bought a ticket to the earliest show. It was a movie called Kung Pow, which starred the gentleman who wrote Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. No, this wasn’t the horrifying part. It was more bemusing, really, since I couldn’t understand how this thing made it through the gauntlet of script writing, budget gathering, or actual filming before someone realized that this was a movie starring the gentleman who wrote Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Maybe he was coasting on the success of his direct-to-video Star Wars parody, Thumb Wars, which starred his thumbs. Anyway, watching the thing made me feel that same mixture of admiration, pity, and annoyance I get whenever the mentally handicapped kid at Burger King screws up my order.
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