The US Post Office has been previewing their new 2012 stamps for the past few days. It’s the usual stuff we can expect from the post office: influential Americans, plants, things that spell out “LOVE“. Personally, I think the USPS is missing out on a great opportunity to capitalize on the swirling vortex of 2012 [...]
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By Brian Thompson
I. The Setup
As I’m writing this, the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland is just about to be switched on. If I believed some crazy physicists and their even crazier groupies, there really wouldn’t be any point in writing this at all. As discussed before in this column, these people believe that when the collider fires up and begins smashing particles into each other at higher energy levels than we’ve ever attempted before, scientists will unwittingly create black holes or quantum strangelets that will suck us all into oblivion or transform us into pure energy. This may sound like a fun weekend, since there’s a good chance that at least a few of us will reform our consciousnesses into some kind of Dr. Manhattan-esque personality matrix, though the fantasy loses some luster when you realize that these black holes would also destroy Mars (so long, crystal mansion) as well as the Philistine humans we would impress with our exposed genitals. And if none of that makes any sense to you, chances are you’re more socially adjusted than I am.
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