Oberyn Martell: My Lost Love
I hate George R.R. Martin so much right now. He made me love Oberyn Martell and then took him away from me. I cried during the credits. Like, ugly cried with my eyes clamped shut, my mouth wide open, and some drool. Thanks, George R.R. Martin.
Oberyn went out so terribly. I’ve seen some pretty horrific deaths on other shows this season (I’m looking at you, Hannibal), but this was different. Different because we saw the killing in progress and we knew the people involved.
And we know it wasn’t just.
It wasn’t just because Tyrion is innocent, for once. It wasn’t just because The Mountain is a monster who’s committed crimes against humanity. It wasn’t just because Oberyn’s cause was righteous. The Mountain very clearly deserves to die. But, in Westeros, the ones who deserve to perish never do and the righteous always suffer.
Now, let’s just get this out of the way because I know we’re all thinking it:
I needed that right now. I need some hope, now that George R.R. Martin has killed off the one person in Westeros who LITERALLY REPRESENTED LIGHT.
Sansa Stark: Manipulatin’ Like A Boss
All this time, I’ve been rolling my eyes and muttering, “Stupid Sansa Stark…..” How wrong I’ve been.
Sansa, despite all of her simple dreams and torment in King’s Landing at the hands of the Lannisters, was observing the entire time. Everything she’d learned from her father and her septas was bullocks. So, Sansa took in everything she could from Cersei Lannister, Margaery Tyrell, and even Shae and Tyrion.
Now she’s applying it.
Cersei Lannister needs to watch her back. Sansa is shaping up to have a warg for a brother, a Faceless Assassin for a sister, Petyr Baelish as an ally, and the power of The Vale behind her.
Sansa Stark may wind up being the baddest b!tch in all of Westeros. SANSA GOT SWAGGER!
Arya Stark: Westeros’ Most Lovable Sociopath
Her inappropriate laughter at the news of her Aunt Lysa was just funny to me.
Ramsey Bolton: Our New Joffrey
I also can’t wait to see this walking sack of crazed maggots die. I almost hope it’s Theon who does him in, but knowing how few nobles in Westeros actually get what they deserve, Ramsey will wind up sitting on the Iron Throne before he gets his comeuppance. If he ever does.
I’m feeling so hopeless about all of this right now.
Jorah Mormont: That Awkward Moment…..
……..when you have to explain to your queen that you started out spying on her before growing to love her.
I suppose I’ve known this day would come since the Vaes Dothrak wine merchant back in season one. However, it ended much better than I expected. Here’s a note to everyone: NO ONE GET OVER BEING SPIED ON. (I’m looking at you, NSA. You go right ahead and put my name and face in your little death book.)
I do wonder if it was wise of Daenerys to let her most trusted advisor walk away. Now, there’s a guy in out there who not only knows her military intelligence, but knows her. And he has a royal pardon allowing him to re-enter the good graces of Westeros, and the likes of the Lannisters and the Boltons.
Ser Jorah Mormont will come back to haunt Daenerys. If not in person, than in influence. Or the Lannisters and Boltons will simply kill him on sight, as they’re wont to do.
Franks and Beans
“Do the take it all? The pillar and the stones?”
That’s the most elegant way to say “franks and beans” ever.