by Lisa Fary The minds of Mongo have figured out how to open a rift to another world. They’ve figured rocket cycles. They’ve even figured out holographic messaging. But, the holographic message has to be delivered by a dude on foot? They haven’t figured the “send” button? “Surrender or we’re gonna kill ya!” What kind [...]
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By Lisa Fary Ming’s red robe with the standy uppy collar is like my fitted white Oxford shirt worn with a bazoomba bra – I get what I want when I wear that blouse – Ming’s red robe with the standy uppy collar gives him the mercilessness needed to be. . . uhh. . . [...]
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So, a girl is feeling down about the fate of the Earth at the hands of an alien dictator who wants all our Snapple. Do you: A) Bring up her dead fiance B) Not bring up her dead fiance C) Leave her in a service vent with Baylin and Zarkov while you go save Mongo [...]
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At the beginning, mine was a love-hate relationship with the SciFi Channel’s Flash Gordon. Not as dramatic as my love-hate relationship with Lost, but we had our ups and downs. I just wanted so badly to like it and get swept away in a fun, pulpy science fiction show that didn’t leave me depressed at [...]
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Flash, if you’re going to strip down to your shorts and tank and oil yourself up, you should just strip down all the way. It’s not like you have chest hair to get gooey. You know, I would have liked to have seen Prince Barin in that scene. Mmmmm. . . Prince Barin. . . [...]
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Ming has the worst security team in the universe. Anyone can walk right up to him and start demanding clean source water while uttering platitudes like, “Dry mouths whisper the loudest.” Yeah, and guilty feet have got no rhythm. Related Stuff:
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I promise I’m not being paid by the SciFi Channel to say this: you really should start watching Flash Gordon. Related Stuff:
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This week on Flash Gordon: the gang gets actual special effects that don’t look completely lame, Zarkov gets beat up then gets drunk and hit on by a Mongo hillbilly, and the girls get push-up bras. Related Stuff:
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This week on Flash Gordon, Dale becomes a pro, Flash gets skull face and Barin gets a t-shirt stretched over his giant, well toned yet hairless chest and arms as the International Male catalog expands its reach into Mongo. Oh, and Aura’s pregnant. Related Stuff:
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A Flash Gordon episode that was better than almost all of Heroes season 2? “Sorrow” gives me hope that there really is an Easter Bunny and I will get that pony for Christmas one day. Related Stuff:
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This week Dale gets a lesson in good secrets and bad secrets from her idiot boyfriend who really thinks the authorities will understand this Mongo thing, Baylin gets a date with Flash’s car buffing buddy, and the Blue Man Group visits Mongo. Related Stuff:
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Ming has finally revealed his evil plot! He’s going to dig to Earth and steal our water through his aqueduct of evil !!!!! No invasion. No human enslavement. Just a big, interdimensional hole. Related Stuff:
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How practical is it for a bounty hunter to wear a shiny suit with a curly que collar that extends past the shoulders? It doesn’t say “dangerous bounty hunter” as much as it says “Bounty Hunter Barbie”. Related Stuff:
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Ming likes fruity water and there is currently a water shortage on Mongo. If Mongo is opening up all these rifts on Earth, why doesn’t Ming just invade and take all the Aquafina and Crystal Light? And is Flash a virgin? Related Stuff:
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It hurt to look at Sam Jones, the Flash of 1980, guest star as the criminal Krebb in this episode. Poor guy looks like he spent the 80s and 90s at the David Lee Roth health spa outside Las Vegas, which is really just a trailer park with an adjoining strip club. John has written [...]
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What is this? Flash is doing stuff? Ming is threatening? I actually give a monkey’s butt if the Verdan fix their water machine? How is it that, suddenly, Flash Gordon is good? Related Stuff:
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“After what they did to the Hawkmen,” I thought, “Flash has no where to go but up.” It seemed like a reasonable thought, albeit an uncharacteristically positive thought. However, it turned out to be an unrealistic thought, possibly a pre-senility thought, as Flash Gordon has found new levels at which to suck. This episode created [...]
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Flash Gordon brought in the Hawkmen, or as they’re know in this Flash-verse, the Dactyls, in this episode. Vultan is freshly waxed and on the hunt for his son, who he lost in a rift 13 years prior. And when Vultan finds that his son has grown into the typical American teen, he does what [...]
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