True Blood didn’t just jump the shark. True Blood tortured the shark. Then, True Blood jumped the shark, killed it, and made shark fin soup. Lastly, True Blood pooped out the shark fin soup. And that poop was converted into ink, with which this episode’s scripts were printed.
Yes, I loved Terry. I was sad to see him get killed off…..but, you know? He wasn’t a major character. He wasn’t a character of enough import to warrant spending half the episode on his funeral and clip show.
Tom Mason: Action Professor convinced the Volm that humanity would rather run and die fighting than go on vacation in Brazil. I’m sure a lot of Americans would love to go to the Volm camp in Brazil, especially if they got the wifi back up and running. Cat videos!
I thoroughly enjoyed watching Sarah Newlin get her butt kicked by Ms. Suzuki. That fight scene was fantastic. Of course, I’m disappointed that Mrs. Newlin was triumphant, but it did expose the fatal flaw of high heels. I wish I could say, “That’s why I don’t wear heels! HAHAHAHA! I’m so above you all!” It’s not true, though. I don’t wear heels because I have scoliosis. I’d rather wear pumps, but I’d make it a single step before my spine went cursive.
Fairies may put crystal chandeliers in trees and run a night club that plays only Abney Park, but other than that, all they do is flit around, hiding from vampires and pooping light.
I cannot deal with Noah Wyle’s naked face. I had no idea how much of his new hotness was wrapped up in that facial pelt until his face was naked and he was just Tom Mason: Average Guy Who Has To Go Christmas Shopping. It’s impossible for me to be attracted to him without the beard and crazed survival eyes.
I think I figured out what’s different about this season. It feels like the new showrunner is trying to clean up after the character mess created by Alan Ball and Friends.
I’m sure that even in the face of extinction, nimrods will still be questioning whether America is ready for a female president. Also, Hal Mason got shot in the head and it didn’t even mess up his hair.
“The one with the crazy hair.” I fail to see what’s so crazy about Nicole’s hair. Oh, right. The werewolf who said that is a racist.