It’s sexy time on Craphole Island. “Shut up and don’t talk” is an oxymoron. Kate may be a lousy criminal, but she has verbal skills better than that. Her reaction to Jack and Juliet dining under the stars was silly. She’s acting like she got dumped, when she never had the guy in the first [...]

Craphole Island hates babies. So, the Others took Rousseau’s baby, Walt and the other kids because they can’t have kids of their own. Ethan kidnapped Claire to keep the baby alive. Again with the non-productive secrecy! How hard is it to say, “This island hates babies. We’re giving you these injections so the island doesn’t [...]

How did Kate elude that federal marshal for as long as she did with such lousy bad guy reflexes? She risks her neck, and a pregnant woman’s neck, to get her mom alone for a minute to ask, “Mommy, why?” Well Kate, you blew up her husband and she gave you up. PUT IT TOGETHER!! [...]

Because that’s how Billy Dee rolls.I’ve been complaining about Paolo and Nikki since they showed up out of nowhere at the beginning of the season, so at first, I was annoyed that third-string characters were getting a flashback…. The Tragic Quad of Jack, Kate, Sayid and Locke are getting to just be a bummer every time they show up on screen with their horrible memories and emotional scars and not sharing information.

Lost has become that guy you date who you don’t want your friends to meet because he’s just going to lie and act like a putz. Then you look bad for liking the guy. It’s just better if you keep his no good, lying pants to yourself. But, you still kind of like him because [...]

My new favorite characters on Lost are the tiny “Dancing with the Stars” dancers, hoofing their way across the bottom of the screen. They’re totally running things on the island. Related Stuff:

Is Locke a monkey? He does whatever a computer tells him to do. Enter these numbers and press “Execute”. If hostiles have taken over, press “77″. Let’s see, there’s a knocked out hostile on the floor. . . what is the best course of action? Duh. Play computer chess. Related Stuff:

Who knew a decomposing head was comedy gold? I was feeling so poopy today that I didn’t even want to watch Lost because it’s been so pitch black and miserable this season. It’s had some good episodes, but the overall tone has been dreary, which is lousy for poopy people who need some pepping up. [...]

Is Kate retarded? She and Sawyer were lucky to get away alive, and as soon as they’re off Others Island, she starts whining, “We have to go back! We have to get Jack!” What are they going to do? Storm Others Island and force them to cooperate by the power of their combined body odor? [...]

You have to approach Lost like a blind date: expect nothing and you’ll be pleasantly surprised when the guy has all of his teeth. There’s probably still a boil on his butt, but you won’t see that until the second date, and it might clear up by then. Related Stuff: