Specifically, Rick Santorum (hello again, buddy) and Newt Gingrich (This is your first time here. Welcome! Help yourself to some bacon bits. Don’t eat them! Sprinkle them on yourself).
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Specifically, Rick Santorum (hello again, buddy) and Newt Gingrich (This is your first time here. Welcome! Help yourself to some bacon bits. Don’t eat them! Sprinkle them on yourself).
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Mitt, your relentless trudge forward in the face of tremendous negativity is rather admirable from this Concerned Zombie’s perspective, but you’re embarrassing yourself now.
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Congratulations on not going all Barbara on this odd-numbered election year. Remember, a healthy nation is a tasty nation.
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I thought we zombies would be the ones to make the United States look like a third world country on the news. You beat us to the punch, Oakland PD. Well done.
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You have to shut up, now. How are you not embarrassed every time you open your pretty mouth?
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Your vision for American education takes all the fun out of being a zombie. 8 out of 10 zombies prefer an educated food supply.
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It is my pleasure to inform you that this Concerned Zombie does not support the game, Tea Party Zombies Must Die, and plans to boycott it.
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Here’s the thing, Michele. No one is going to blame me for ripping out my neighbor’s liver and making fois gras with it. My neighbor is a racist anti-Semite who puts her garbage out on the wrong day, anyway. But you, Michele. People might think you’re racist because of this pledge. And that’s way worse.
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Certainly, Mr. Rohrabacher, you could have had an intern Google this for you. I’m a zombie, and even I have an intern. He’s an MBA from Colgate. I’m quite looking forward to eating him later, unless he can find some tossed out Boar’s Head cold cuts in our immediate vicinity.
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I can’t decide which is more gratifying: the Center for Disease Control outlining a zombie preparedness plan for American families, or the fact that my personal zombie preparedness plan is pretty much the same.
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There you have it — the first annual Bub Awards are over. The sun is rising, bellies are full of brains and it’s time for zombies to go back to sleep. If I’ve missed any feel free to add your own Bubs to the list and long
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Run For Your Lives is a first-of-its-kind race in which runners will navigate a series of 12 obstacles over a 5K course, while avoiding ZOMBIES and making strategic choices to find the quickest route to the finish line.
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I started to really observe crowds. After all, it seems that zombies hunt in packs, or droves. I started to play a game I used to: as a horror movie buff, I often broke people up into two categories – the ones who lived and the ones who got axed. I’m here to tell you how to stay on the side of the survivors: embrace germs.
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I don’t know if they all received a memo of “Pretend to want to eat the actors at ALL times” or not, but they never left character. Even in the lunch tent. I would walk by and get so creeped out by their zombie advances, I would literally throw chicken legs in their direction.
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