How I Failed The Apocalypse

2012vegas

Once it was apparent that firefighters had contained the fire and that no one was hurt, I looked down at my bare feet and the landline handset in John’s pocket. In the rush of evacuation, our cell phones, wallets, and everything else had been left in our apartment. “We really suck at this,” I said.

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Apocalypse Closet: The Menswear Nightmare Continues

MAN mens fall 2013

The fall 2013 menswear collections wouldn’t stop. More designers than usual completely lost their $h!t and produced looks that would be perfect for really bad sci-fi films. Like, Syfy-bad sci-fi films.

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Apocalypse Closet: Menswear Fall 2013

versace mens fall 2013 b

Good news, guys! Fall 2013 will be pants-optional!

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Heading into 2013

o-NASA-SUN-SOLAR-FLARE-900

While 2012 wasn’t the worst year, it sure as hell wasn’t the greatest, either. It was just kinda there, like that birthmark you’re always watching to see if it turns into melanoma.

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2012: Best and Worst

dark knight poster

The Dark Knight Rises is my worst movie of 2012. It’s Chris Nolan’s Batman & Robin. But, way less fun. So, it’s more like Batman & Robin AND a cancer diagnosis. Yay!

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Darth Vader on the Toilet

darth vader ian pool

Because my head feels stuffed with gutter cotton balls and I can’t type more than three words without having to reach for another tissue, here are some photos of iconic characters doing non-iconic things!

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The Evil Queens of Miss Universe 2012

Nicaragua

Yes, pageants are demeaning, etc., etc., etc., blah, blah, blah. But, I like the gowns. And with Miss Universe, I love the national costumes.This year, they were firmly in evil queen territory with outstretched arms, menacing glares, and sweeping costumes, establishing their dominance over chino pants.

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George Lucas Wants to Remaster Education

jar-jar-binks

I may not agree with every movie decision George Lucas has made. But, he’s a creative who’s been on the receiving end of public education. And education, like making movies, is a creative process requiring the work of a lot of people for one end product.

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Apocalypse Closet: London Fashion Week Spring 2013

philip treacy spring 2013

Philip Treacy has to be screwing with the Royal Family with some of his Spring 2013 hats and fascinators. Princess Beatrice and Kate Middleton have frequently been photographed wearing his pieces and I would LOVE for them to bust out in one of these.

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