On the last season of Being Human, we pretended to like any of the three leads despite their being bratty, gormless, and, more than once, murderous. Being Human gets points for trying to make its leads slightly unlikeable and yet compelling. It has mostly succeeded on the latter, alas. However, this new season seems to be moving away from some of the worst of the past two seasons, perhaps because it has diverged from its British predecessor enough to try something new. So let us play a game where we assume, in good faith, that Josh is not a terrible person because he feels guilty about the occasional murder he commits or allows to happen; that Nora could be worth keeping around despite her Smallville-esque one-eighties as regards her character’s ethics; that Sally is worth saving from a Limbo that is less terrifying than it is monochromatic; and that Aidan will ever figure out how to be a vegetarian vampire and live happily forever after. For now, on this season premiere, Being Human, we forgive you, and we are ready to love you again.
Of course, the show doesn’t make it easy, starting as it does by fast-forwarding by more than year since the events of last season. Aidan is still in his box, going mad by inches, which is a perfectly reasonable response to the horrible Argo facial hair he’s now sporting. Josh and Nora are struggling to find the other points in their werewolf-vampire-ghost trifecta. Before we’re done catching up with the three of them, we’ve already had two fake-outs as regards the characters we last saw in mortal peril. Sally leads the ghost brigades to the door of her old apartment, only to fail to get through the door and have to start the process of recruiting them for future failure all over again. In short, our intrepid heroes are lost, lonely, and aloof. No change there.
Not to say there isn’t a revolution afoot. It turns out flu vaccinations kill vampires, which is yet another reason we should all agree to stop listening to Jenny McCarthy and her ilk. Humans who have been sick or were vaccinated are tainted, and vampires, who have previously demonstrated less restraint than Caligula when it comes to feeding, are dying en masse. Aidan is sprung from his living burial by a human entrepreneur who sees him as a source of pure vampire blood, a genius plan which is ruined by greed as one of Mother’s Amish counterparts promptly kills-ass to secure Aidan for eating all himself. Aidan must fight with the voices in his head (who are all, hilariously, riding literal shotgun in the car that the Amish vampire somehow knows how to drive) in order to decide he doesn’t want to be eaten. Not that it matters: despite feasting on a blood-deprived Aidan, the Amish vampire crumbles into dust from disease. Aidan is not the cure the vampires are looking for, and given that he was bitten by an infected vamp, he should be doomed as well but probably isn’t. It would invalidate his meager character development thus far this episode in which he decides to live in this horrible new world where he’s likely to starve to death, lest he bite a human with the wrong acquired immunity and die more quickly. No one ever said he was smart (just pretty).
Also drawing the short stick when intelligence was passed out: Josh. A year ago, we learn in flashbacks (because somehow playing out the scene then jumping forward a year is stupider than jumping forward a year and then having to explain all the new developments of this premiere in flashback) that Nora shot Ray, Josh’s wolf-daddy, but only to wound so that Josh could finish him off to cure himself of lycanthropy. This is all hearsay cribbed from the psycho born-to-it wolf twins that Nora murdered her ex with, so basically Nora’s a great example of why following their advice is probably stupid. Besides which, Josh is too busy being a martyr to his guilt (and being a poor man’s Woody Allen about everything else) to ever murder a dude, even skeezy Ray. Unless, of course, Ray threatens Nora, who, remember, at this point, is on record being in favor of murder because it would make her life easier. Josh kills Ray to save Nora, not just to break his curse, but hey, it works (and I owe the Teen Wolves an apology). Except! Not for Nora. Killing a wolf sire only takes care of the first generation of wolves bit by that sire; Ray bit Josh, so Josh is now human again, but Josh scratched Nora, and she’s SOL. It’s an interesting development, aside from how it leaves Josh even more laden with guilt than before, because we now have proof of concept about how to un-wolf a body. And this means that when Nora makes yet another heel-turn, she has to kill Josh to be normal. Or, if she wants to stay a wolf, find a way to get him dead without doing it herself. This leaves open all sorts of possibilities that mostly rely on the writers finally admitting Nora’s not stable and not a good person and that’s fine, just let her be evil and that’s never going to happen so we’re moving on.
Josh and Nora burn through psychics like witches until they actually meet a witch who can help them retrieve Sally from Limbo. I’m going to call her Lunch Lady Necromancer, seeing as that’s where we meet her (at a soup kitchen) and that’s what she does. (And it sounds better than “Donna.”) She’s not going to bring Sally’s soul back; she’s going to bring Sally fully back from the dead. A necessary disclaimer about how Sally will not be a zombie (very important to clarify), a request for Ray’s heart, Sally’s corpse, and $2000 later, Lunch Lady Necromancer has Sally back among the breathing. Oops, though, Sally brought two of her ghost pals with, and their fates might be worse than Limbo as they are probably entombed alive in their graves and there’s a good chance they are horrible living corpses because they didn’t get the werewolf-heart-salve that magically made Sally whole again. Missing the point, as ever, is Josh, who is not considering that, as Sally is newly returned from the dead, and thus, narratively, is probably protected from getting killed again soon, and as he is now the only non-supernatural person in the apartment, he’s probably going to have to become the ghost for the ghost-werewolf-vampire fun times of old to resume. That and Lunch Lady Necromancer has some interest in Ray’s corpse, divested of its heart or no, that can only be described as “likely to be unsavory.”
Coming this season: witches! More people coming back from the dead who aren’t as interesting, talented or just gosh-darn funny as Mark Pellegrino’s Bishop, for whose cameo in this episode, we all thank our respective makers, be they undead or no.