Yes, pageants are demeaning, etc., etc., etc., blah, blah, blah.
But, I like the gowns. And with Miss Universe, I love the national costumes.
I just want to wear sparkles all the time, OK??????
Last year’s national costume segment of the Miss Universe pageant featured sequined monsters bent on destroying the world. This year, they were firmly in evil queen territory with outstretched arms, menacing glares, and sweeping costumes, establishing their dominance over chino pants the world.
Israel
Argentina
Vampire Bat Queen
Curacao
Queen of the Warrior Birds
Bahamas
Pirate Queen is angry about her lack of sparkles.
Tanzania
Lost Queen of Mummenschanz
Peru
I don’t know what I did to make her so angry.
Sri Lanka
Panama
Peacock feathers for everyone in the new world order!
Nicaragua
She’ll subdue us with ice beams from her eyes.
Dominican Republic
She can’t even look at us right now.
Related Stuff:
Lisa Fary's earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She's angry that it's 2011 and she still doesn't have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram. 
