Once Upon A Time: Queen of Hearts

I want to see Barbara Hershey and Jessica Lange in an epic scenery chewing show down.

Hershey is fantastic as Cora. Last season, Regina was threatening because she was so obviously unhinged and was so open about why. Cora isn’t so clear and is so composed all the time, with just a hint of “Don’t fcuk with me,” in her eyes.

Rumpelstiltskin is afraid of her. Rumpy, the sex imp who inspires fear everywhere he goes, is afraid of Cora. That’s how badass she is. A little wackadoo evil, too, I guess.

In the end, though, Cora wants what Regina wants: for her kid to love her. Which makes me wonder how close all of our parents are hovering to bat$h!t insanity given the fickle nature of their children.

Other Once Upon A Time Thoughts:

• All that progress Regina has been making toward becoming a genuinely good person this season? Unwittingly derailed by Henry who, after embracing her with pride and love, was overcome by his desire for a celebratory burger and milkshake.
• He’s still a little boy and doesn’t understand the complex social politics of adults which necessitated an invitation for Regina to join in said celebratory meal, even she probably would have declined. There was no way Regina was ever going to that victory dinner; inviting her was the crucial thing.

• Not inviting Regina is the thing that will drive her into the arms of her own mother.
• Then, when Regina and Cora wreak havoc on Storybrooke, the townsfolk will wonder why she’s doing this to them when they’re all such nice people.
• Mulan ties up Aurora……and a thousand fanfics were born.
• Mulan and Aurora are going on a road trip to save Prince Phillip’s soul! I wonder if that will end up in a fairytale three-way wedding?
• Captain Hook is a disappointment. He’s so easily manipulated that I have a hard time believing that he was ever an effective pirate.

• Henry sweetly believes that good will always defeat evil. He’s obviously never encountered internet trolls.
• And we end with a pirate ship bearing down on Storybrooke via a revived magic bean, carrying Cora and Hook.
• Mulan and Aurora are probably stowaways on said pirate ship and will find Phillip’s soul trapped in an item from Mr. Gold’s shop or something because that’s how Show rolls.

Lastly, how does Aurora’s heart get back in her chest? Is Mulan just going to carry it around for her, now?

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