The Vampire Diaries: Growing Pains

The entire episode went something like this:

Oh no! Elena is going to be a vampire unless we can stop it!

This will be a fate worse than death for her and everyone who loves her.

We’ll just ignore the fact that 80% of everyone she knows, has known, or will know is a vampire or part vampire. 45 minutes later and she’s a vampire. Shocker.

I’m so angry! I’m going to do nice things in the meanest way possible!

The only good thing to come from this episode is that Rebekah finally (probably not) realized that Klaus is an giant tool and deserves to be alone. Plus, the power of Stephan and Elena’s love for each other made her heart grow three sizes or something else that had me puking a little in my mouth.

Then we all clasp our hands together and bat our eyelashes and swoon at the forever that Stephan and Elena will now be able to have. Wait, this was only the first episode of the season and as a vampire she gets to remember all the sweet things that Damon has done for her and compelled her to forget. That, of course, will negate all the horrible things he has done because murder, jerkiness, and abuse is totally redeemed by saying I love you…in a world of stupid.

…together our lovers live happily ever after. Until next week.

This show makes me so bitter. But then I followed it with about 15 minutes of Beauty and the Beast and after dumping bleach on my eyes I realize what I COULD be watching on Thursday night instead.

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