True Blood: In The Beginning

This whole episode was dumbass people making dumbass decisions, punctuated by shots of Russell Edgington hamming it up and chewing up the scenery.

That must be hell on his teeth. All that scenery.

Really, though. Russell is so god damn entertaining that I don’t even mind Roman and his perfect butt turning to goo.

Now, I need some assistance understanding bloodlines.

I’m part Italian. We’re from the same parents, so my brother is part Italian, too. If we do a lot of Italian things – like cooking massive amounts of food and insisting you have seconds because we’re uneasy, talking with our hands, shouting our love, wearing track suits – our Italian-ness isn’t diminished.

We never run out of Italian. Much to the chagrin of our partners, who have to suffer through our track suits and nervous cooking (and to the seemingly unending profit of my waxer).

Fey blood is different. I guess it goes where it wants to go and does whatever the hell it wants to do because Sookie is half-fey, even though her parents and brother were no-fey. If she uses her fey stuff enough, Sookie will run out of fey.

Sure, it’s magic. Whatever. It’s still effing stupid.

Other True Blood Thoughts:

• “Jesus tits of christ.” I didn’t think Sheriff Andy would top “jesus tits.” Bravo, Sheriff Andy.  Bravo.
• I laughed out loud and damn near spilled my beverage (a tragedy, it would have been) at the sight of Sam rolling around on the floor, sniffing.
• Sookie is an idiot. “I’m gonna excrete all my fey powers right here, in my front yard. At night. When there’s vampires about who want to eat me.”  I get what she’s doing, but as usual, she’s going about it in the most absurd way possible. Do that in the morning, Sookie. Jeez.

• Blah blah blah. Alcide is doing something with his shirt off.

• Hoyt seems to be experiencing some sort of personality crisis. Has he always been this stupid and impressionable? Now Hoyt’s in a hate group? What?

• That is the most spry pregnant woman I’ve ever seen. She not only got up from her horizontal position on the floor by herself, she did so silently. Without groaning or farting or anything.
• What the hell was that dopey display at the end? Lilith materialized out of single drop of blood splashing on a filthy stage in a bar on Bourbon Street. Godric is pulling an Obi-Wan. Only Eric can save Nora. She is just a woman, after all. Women ruin everything. Gawd.

Lastly, Tara’s mom can piss off.

She doesn’t get to steal her baby’s childhood by being an absent mom, snuggled up in bottle AND THEN show up at Fangtasia all self-righteous and judgmental, disowning Tara for something that she didn’t even want or ask for.

Screw you, Tara’s Mom. 

I loved the subsequent scene between Tara and Pam. Neither of them wanted to be here, but they’re adapting. Pam is becoming more nurturing and Tara….well, maybe Tara will finally get a chance to be the little girl she never got to be as a human.

I want awesome crimped hair like that.

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