I’m perpetually disappointed by the menswear collections and Spring 2013 was no different. It seems that there are only so many ways to cut a suit, shirt, and slacks.
Not to mention that there wasn’t much for me to grab on to in terms of apocalypshionista finds. Compared to last spring’s menswear collections, this season’s shows are downright sedate.
Also, guys, you may want to keep your fingers crossed for the end of the world because, if we make it through, it looks like suits with short pants are on the horizon for you.
- Emporio Armani
- Raf Simmons
I love this suit at Alexander McQueen. It’s like C-3PO reimagined as a hipster.
- Alexander McQueen
Versace opened with a full He-Man/Conan/Thor homage…
- Versace
Then things got very Zardoz:
- Versace
This one is kinda cool. Except for the sleeveless sport coat. And the shoes. Dig the metallic harness, though.
- Versace
I’m starting to think that Walter Van Beirendonck isn’t designing fashion so much as he is just screwing with us. I giggled at the Killer Klowns from Outer Space homage last year. Seemed like a statement about the ridiculousness of fashion and those who enslave themselves to it. The Spring 2013 collection, on the other hand, has to be a practical joke.
- Walter Van Beirendronck
Or this? I can get behind the top hat that looks like melting flesh, but the exposed sock garters have got to go.
- Walter Van Beirendronck
At Yohji Yamomoto, most of the models looked like they came from the abandoned at the end of my block.
- Yohji Yamamoto
This looks like a reject from the Fifth Element costume department. Also, man nips.
- Emporio Armani
Another Fifth Element reject:
- Mugler
Rick Owens even went mostly conventional with his collection this season, with the occasional Mad Max extra. This caftan looks perfect for an apocalyptic, Outback monk.
- Rick Owens
Related Stuff:
Lisa Fary's earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She's angry that it's 2011 and she still doesn't have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram. 
Oh. My. God.
You did NOT make a Zardoz reference.
Best Movie Ever.
Done.
Yup. I went there.
Oh, man! “Fashion” is hilarious! At the risk of letting my inner redneck show–these stylings have to be a celebration of Obama giving the thumbs up to gay marriage. When ya buy one of these things do they throw in the wax job too? Speaking of rednecks and hicks, how did that Emporio Armani guy achieve that tan with sock lines? I haven’t seen one of those since I was a boy in North Platte, Nebraska!