Horror movies are a great form of escape for me, and probably many others. You think you’ve got it bad? Well, take a look at this pour soul in this scary movie, getting his throat torn out by a zombie!
So what do we do when real life is scarier than fiction? How will things go down?
By now, you’ve probably read about the man who got his face eaten off by another man on the side of a Miami causeway. If you’re like me, that story made you stop and shudder, and also to wonder, more than half-jokingly: Is this the start of the Zombie Apocalypse?
Of course then the harsh spotlight of the news focused on gruesome stories everywhere. Since yesterday I’ve heard of a woman eating her newborns; a man slicing his own stomach open to sling his intestines at nearby police officers; and another man spitting blood all over other police officers from the back seat of a squad car.
In isolation, these stories are certainly disturbing enough. Together, they can really make a girl like me start to grow concerned.
So let’s see how this compares to the silver screen.
In the movies, the apocalypse usually starts quickly. By the time the main protagonist wakes up (usually after just a couple weeks of injury-induced slumber a la 28 Days Later or The Walking Dead) the world has come to an end. All that’s left are zombies, and a few battle-scarred survivors.
But doesn’t it stand to reason that the real Zombie Apocalypse will start slower? A strange story on the news one night about a man eating another man’s face. Another about a cannibalistic new mom. Drugs are blamed in one case, post-partum psychosis in another.
Starting to sound familiar?
The stories will spread. There will be a gigantic cover-up by the government, wanting to avoid mass panic and chaos. Denial will be public policy.
The truth will first be published in The National Enquirer, so no one will take it seriously. But soon, even The New York Times will be forced to cover it. One day the headline will simply read: The Zombie Apocalypse Is Upon Us. Arm Yourself.
And then the headlines will stop coming.
Ok. Admittedly, this is nothing but a flight of fancy, my already-overactive imagination run amuck with zombie tales. I’m heavily influenced by the zombie movies I’ve seen.
But what if? Just what if? Are you ready?
I’m not…yet. But I’m watching the Miami Face Eating Victim carefully. If he gets up and starts eating brains…I’m headed to the next sporting goods store to get myself a gun.