Seriously? Seriously? Yeah, seriously. This episode was 95% useless.
How about you do this, Show – Let’s get rid of the whole relationship between the Salvatore brothers and Elena. I mean, there’s a point where the brothers are talking about what they will do if she picks one of them and they’re all grown up about it. Then Damon’s all like, “All this over one girl.” And Stefan is like, “She’s a special girl.” And I’m all like, “Shut the hell up and act like vampires and stop mooning over an 18 year old girl with little to no life experience and who’s never been out of a weird little murder town because it’s creepy and stupid and the worst part of this show.”
THIS is why I stopped watching the show when it aired and then reviewing it right after. I get so worked up. Even my dog, Monster, gives me looks that say, “Shut up! It’s a show about supernatural things where they are all supposed to be teenagers. What did you expect?”
Then my husband tells me not to drink so much and yell at the TV so loud since it’s a school night and the kids are trying to sleep.
Wow…again. I’m sorry…on to the review. At least the parts worth mentioning.
Evil!Vampire! (which if you think about it should be one in the same but aren’t because vampires are all romantic or something) Alaric is off to kill the originals. He kidnaps Caroline and Elena and holds them hostage.
Apparently, Ester decided that Elena isn’t the center of the universe and ties Alaric’s life to the life of our resident doppelganger. When she dies, he dies. Sigh…Elena figures that out and threatens to kill herself. She even goes so far as to start to slit her own throat. I can’t help but wonder how much that would hurt. A lot, I’m guessing.
Klaus saves her and plans to drain her dry and let her die. Two birds…one stone and all.
But Bonnie (AKA deus ex machina) comes up with a spell to mummify Klaus, in the vein (heh) of his father Mikeal. His heart will stop beating, but he won’t be “dead” so all his descents will get to live and he’ll be out of their hair.
That actually works! YAY! They save Elena. YAY! (I guess), but Alaric gets away. BOO. But that’s okay, we still have two episodes left and still need some conflict. But at least, for the moment, that story line with the originals is over. It was getting so tedious to watch. With the whole, looks we can kill them…nope, foiled. Look, we found another way! Oh, wait no. Sorry, foiled again…and so on and so forth.
Conflict we have. Alaric calls the Mystic Falls council together and rats out the Mayor and the Sherriff. Those council members seem a little miffed that their members kids are supernatural. But that doesn’t seem to shock them as much as when Evil!Vampire!Alaric! zips across the room with his super fast vampire speed.
But our cliffhanger comes down to Elena. Who, might I just say, can’t paint a room to save her life. Who shakes a roller like that? And who the hell paints trim while not looking?
It’s not her painting skills that have us holding on to next week. She grasps the cut on her neck (which you should note wasn’t even deep enough for stitches, let alone a bandage) and then collapses to the ground. Good thing they tarped that carpet. Paint’s a bitch to get out. As is her blood, since she’s now bleeding from her nose, possibly her eyes and I think I’m supposed to care more, but she’s my least favorite part of this show.