Little Red Riding Hood is up to bat in this week’s episode, titled “Red Handed”.
But first, let’s talk about the Storybrooke sheriff’s department.
Surely, there are some background, stock fairytale characters who could be officers or at least run a steno pool so Emma doesn’t have to be the entirety of the police department by herself. Yes, it’s a small town, but I’ve been to small towns. And even the smallest still had a couple of officers and a secretary. Look at Twin Peaks.
So, yeah. Emma needs some help. I was really hoping Ruby would stay on and they’d form a fabulous crime-fighting, grilled cheese-easting duo. Emma could teach Ruby not to wear so much damn make-up and Ruby could teach Emma to rock a pair of pleather pants. It would’ve been the start of a lady cop duo made in fairytale heaven.
"Lemurs. Wow."
Unfortunately, it didn’t go there. Ruby, having left Granny’s diner in a huff, only needed to find some self-confidence and have a mild adventure. Once Ruby’s adventure ran headlong into a heart in a box, she was ready to scrub off some eye make-up and learn to run Granny’s diner.
Meanwhile in Fairytale Land, there’s a wolf afoot.
One thing Once Upon a Time has taught me to do is look for an angle or twist to the traditional tale (this is one of my favorite things about the show – it’s like a little puzzle). Once it was established that we were dealing with Red Riding Hood, John and I immediately began debating who was the wolf.
"Really, Granny? I can't go out? I'm like 30 years old."
John went with Granny; I went with Red. Either way would’ve been good, but I particularly like the concept of Little Red Riding Hood also being the Big Bad Wolf.
I’ve got to hand it to Meghan Ory as Red. In the hands of a less capable actress, that wolfen self-discovery scene would have been embarrassingly bad. Ory played it so well I even teared up a bit.
There’s not much this week in the way of memorable visuals. It’s mostly a lot of Granny looking stern, Red looking insecure, and Charming walking around with his mouth open. I did salvage a couple things, though….
Granny is a dead ringer for my 9th grade gym teacher, right down to the glasses on a chain.
Give her a whistle and sweat pants.
Just in case you forgot since last week, Mary Margaret is still the town tramp. It says so on her car.
There isn't a single decent car wash in all of Storybrooke
Annnnd it looks like Mary Margaret is going to face a new tag on her car. Most likely “Murderer” spray painted over the existing “Tramp”. This being Storyborooke, I expect the vandalism to be spelled correctly and demonstrate fine penmanship.
"Does this mean my car will get vandalized again?"
Of course, Regina pops up like a unlucky penny. Or herpes.
"I miss Fairytale Land's ambiguous laws regarding murder."
At least Emma is noticing Regina’s supernatural ability to be in the most inappropriate place at the most annoying time.
Lisa Fary's earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She's angry that it's 2011 and she still doesn't have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram. 
