Mystic Falls is having yet another ball because the only way to get all these people together is to dress them up all pretty like. I admit they are pretty, but give it a break. The tuxes, and dresses, and jewels, OH MY!
I hereby submit that the next time you need all these people in the same room, it’s so they can play naked Twister. I have the game. I’ll lend it to you. It’s loads of fun, sober and drunk. Clothing optional. Just saying.
Damon gets his neck broken by Stefan, because Alaric isn’t around to kill (heh). Actually, Elena needs him to stop following her and Stefan is more than happy to help.
The Salvatore boys spend the majority of the episode trying to see who can pee all over Elena. It’s really very high school. Which, if I remember correctly, most of these children should still be in. Maybe that’s why the adults are serving them alcohol without a second thought. Nothing says glamour and high society like a bunch of underage teenagers drinking champagne while dressed like ballroom Barbie.
Moving on…
Damon declares is love for Elena and her reply is “Well, maybe that’s your problem.” Nice one, Elena. To really break his dead heart, make sure you set his puppy on fire and then kick it.
In an effort to include non-supernatural Matt into the story line, Rebekah decides that he needs to die. Why? Because her mother said she can’t kill Elena, so killing Matt will at least make Elena suffer…or something. She enlists her brother to help and then promptly changes her mind because he’s nice to her. Makes me wonder what kind of men she’s dated in the past. Oh wait…the Ripper! Everything makes sense now.
That doesn’t stop her brother Cole from being a dick and crushing poor Matt’s little fragile human hand. Damon takes it personally and breaks Cole’s neck. I guess that’s what happens when his own neck gets broken and then his heart. He goes all schoolyard and lashes out at the nearest target. Oh look, he’s back to being a dick. Just the way I like him. Wait, that sounded better in my head.
His personality swap isn’t a complete surprise since Stefan is starting to show his humanity again. Someone has to be the jerk in this relationship. Damon just plays it better now that the Ripper has gone back into retirement.
Klaus is smitten with Caroline. When she confronts him on all his crap, he falls for her even more. Going as far as to replace her bracelet with a drawing of her with a horse. It’s very sweet. Too bad he’s still a douche with abandonment issues. But who isn’t on this show?
The main story this week, is that Mamma Original wants to kill all her children. Seems that when she brought peace and forgiveness at the end of the last episode she was lying. Yay! Because that annoyed me to no end last week.
Her plan is to bind all her children together. That way, if one of them dies, they all die. Sounds a little harsh, but that’s the plan. I just don’t get that why, after her spell is complete, doesn’t she turn to her son and kill him. Wouldn’t take save a lot of time and drama? He knows it’s coming. He’s in on it. He’s okay with it. Just end it. Spare the lot of us. I beg you!
The cliffhanger for the week?
Damon and Rebekah. Yup. After Matt was nice, he told her to bugger off. Seems like a bunch of broken bones cooled the boy off. Damon is still all emo from Elena’s rejection and getting drunk at the only bar in town.
These two head back to Salvatore manor and get it on since they’ve been spurred by their prospective loves. So that’s what vampire sex looks like. Okay then. At least they aren’t sparkly.
OMG! EDITOR BREAKING IN FOR A SHAMELESS PLUG!!!! (Even though it’s not really “breaking in” if it’s at the end.) Win t-shirts! Art! Comics! TO WIN: link this post. Tweet it, Facebook, G+ it. Is MySpace still a thing? Click here for more.
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Dawn Del Sontro lives in Virginia with her husband and three children. She’s been working on her best selling novel for so long that when it does come out, it’s going to end the world as we know it. In her spare time, she plays video games to wrack up her headshot count and prepares her family for the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse. As she likes to tell her friends and family, “Zombieland and World War Z aren’t just entertainment, they are guides for survival. Resident Evil is a prophecy of the future.” 
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