This is gonna be a Twofer, because my cable messed up recording this episode and I could only see and hear random bits. GG, Comcast. Really earning your pay there.
So here’s what I think happened. You’ll have to let me know if I’m right. There’s a train made of bullets. Or wait, a train hits a guy. No, but they are DEFINITELY in Japan. I think.
Alex gets kidnapped, for leverage? Bad dude is bad. Sarah continues to be superior. Michael Caine showed up. No that was a commercial. It was really hard to tell. It was kinda like watching Mad Libs.
How come they aren’t making a movie about that old game? I mean, Battleship is a movie now, about aliens, which makes me think the writers were playing a different game when they were kids.
At some point Jeffster shows up with a flamethrower? Is that what I saw? Cool, I think.
Did I see Sarah get shot? How did she not avoid that? She’s a robot made only for killing. Like MODOK! It was really pixelated. And then is somehow spy-napped! THE STEAKS HAVE NEVER BEEN HIGHER!
Apparently Sarah’s memory gets “suppressed” and is now on a mission to kill Chuck. Sure, whatever. I actually had to do RESEARCH on the INTERNET and find that out because that point was not conveyed to me while I was “watching”. Thanks again, Comcast.
What will happen next? Will Sarah regain her memory? Will she kill Chuck (yes, please)?! When are we gonna find out!?
In “Chuck vs Sarah”, Quinn has brain cleansed Sarah with flash cards. Really, dude? Can you send me one of those with French on it? Looks easier than Rosetta Stone. Sarah is supposed to kill Chuck. Let me suggest some methods:
Choking on jerky
Drowning in the sink
Poison
Asphyxiated with a pillow
Beaten with a manatee
Death by farts
You get the picture. Make up your own! It’s fun! The more creative, the better! There is some sudden but inevitable betrayal and Sarah runs off with the Intersect glasses. But LO! Chuck pulled the old switcheroo on her in what can only be described as Filler.
And then Chuck cries. Oh how he cries! It gets super dark there for a second when Sarah is unconvinced about the past. Maybe it is all a lie! Maybe these past five seasons have been a major fcuk you to the viewer! Just to buy more computer parts and Subway sammiches! This isn’t a show at all! I have a brain tumor that is making me see things, at regular, weekly intervals!
This should be the finale. Chuck doesn’t get the girl. Sarah disappears. There is emotional wreckage and everyone moves on. You know, like life!
But that won’t be how it ends. Think of the Fanboys screaming in the street if that was the end. Predictions! Everything turns out peachy keen and saccharine sweet. The End.
Join us next time for Audio Commentary of the finale! Unless I can’t make it work. In that case, whatever.
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Raygun Robyn is an expatriate from Mars who dreams about monsters, robots and zombies. When not playing video games or reading celebrity gossip, she runs a line of tshirts and annoys three stupid cats. RR enjoys short walks in the shade, leather boots and cheese. 
