Two years ago, the recession seemed like it was ushering in a golden era for zombies. And it would have been, if the American economy had bounced back like it always had before. We would have had a short, glorious time of easy eating and zombie population growth, followed by a recovery wherein the human citizenry got back on their feet and thinned out the zombie hordes.
That’s the circle of life.
Now, this Ryan budget plan comes along, dismantling Medicaid and Medicare and pretty much neutering Head Start, food stamps, and Pell grants while heaping piles of hot and sexy money on bazillionaires.
You’d think that the human suffering and rampant hopelessness that’ll be brought on by the Ryan budget would be a zombie paradise: an entire country of free range humans, shambling about their once middle-class suburban housing developments, too hungry and sick to put up a decent fight. A sea to shining sea zombie buffet. A Manifest Destiny for the undead.
But, this zombie asks if that’s sustainable. We’ll keep munching away at irradiated and illiterate humanity, growing the zombie population indefinitely, bringing the poor, the working class and the former-middle class into our rotting, undead embrace.
Meanwhile, the richest one percent will most likely have escaped on their Ocean Empire life support vessels or Wally et Hermes floating islands.
Then, one day, there will be no one living to shamble after and gnaw upon.
In a world where everyone except the One Percenters is a zombie, who’s going to be left to eat?
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The American Zombie’s Guide to the Ryan Budget: You’d think that the human suffering and rampant hopelessness th… http://bit.ly/dXgi0b
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Pink Raygun Update: The American Zombie’s Guide to the Ryan Budget http://ow.ly/1ceR1f
This comment was originally posted on Twitter