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oh boy. we're about to start high stakes testing in my school and I'm dreading just adminstering the test. I don't know if I could do what you're having to do. But best of luck to you and stick to your guns. As a teacher of special ed students (in my state, gifted students are grouped with special ed even though they aren't covered by IDEA), I know the importance of the IEP and how that document governs the lives of the student. Do what's right for the students and they will succeed. The issues with the school will come out in the wash.
May the Force be with you.