What I’m Wearing to the Apocalypse

So, I’ve been following Paris Fashion Week, which is sort of an exercise in futility because whenever I try anything trendy or slightly beyond basic, I wind up looking like a three year old who dressed herself. Oh, I still want to wear it, but I fully accept that my fashion aesthetic won’t be acceptable until the fall of civilization.

For Fall 2011, it looks like a few designers have gone completely bat$h!t with apocalyptic visions and it’s fantastic. This are my picks to add to my apocalypse wardrobe:

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Gorilla arms. This is what awaits us once the EPA is totally dismantled. (Tsumori Chiasto)

Perfect for an apocalypse warmistress. (Chanel)

Not so apocalyptic, but she looks like a disco librarian from the future, which has its own charm. (Jean Paul Gaultier)

This shows ingenuity – I’ll totally be able to assemble something like this with scavenged plastic, staples, and some duct tape. (Costume National)

This is awesome. It’s like a slightly less pinchy version of Auntie Entity’s chain mail frock. I’m very happy to see the red face – that’s pretty much what I look like after attempting to put on blush. (Viktor & Rolf)

The requisite tatters and utility boots – I mostly just want to wear my hair in that same technicolor swizzle cone thingy. (Yohji Yamamoto)

I don’t know what the hell this is, but it’s fantastic. (Manish Arora)

I love this for one reason: it’s clearly inspired by the sandworms of Arrakkis. (Rick Owens)

Lisa Fary is a graduate of the creative writing program at Florida State University and holds an advanced degree in Special Education. Her earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She’s angry that it’s 2010 and she still doesn’t have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram.

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