Chuck vs The Fear of Death

Showing him dumb Youtube videos certainly didn’t work, nor did zaping him with electricity. That’s kid stuff. Come on, guys.

If it were up to me I’d try some weird kinky German fetish that they just invented this week, with a name like “Sherpa-ing” or something. Or tickle torture, that is some seriously weird shit. Or wearing those latex body suits that inflate. What is that about? I can get behind some good old latex, but why do you want to be in a big ball? Do they secretly want to be hamsters?  What if you filled the suit with popcorn instead of air? That would be creepy, right?

Or make him read SciFi Slash. Good god. What is wrong with people? If Jean-Luc Picard and Q want to get it on in the privacy of the Captain’s Yacht, that’s their own business. Leave it alone. I’m drawing that line in the sand. Deal with it.

Rob Riggle and his ninjas show up to try and scare the Intersect back into Chuck. He tries various scare tactics and threats to no avail. I appreciate Riggle’s completely over the top, unbridled enthusiasm. He’s just like Billy Mumphrey.

Jeffster had a large part in this episode as it was clear they were going to push this into a two-parter. NBC should just make a Jeffster spinoff where they travel the country helping people and singing. Like “Jem and he Holograms”, only with better hair.

Or “Charlie’s Angels” where they go undercover to investigate crimes and bust punks, only with better hair.

Summer River Bennett McTerminator Glau showed up as Greta. Is it just me or does she look more like a human the older she gets? She didn’t even get to kill anyone. How disappointing is that? I mean, she’s a Terminator, right? That’s what she does. Terminate. So why bring her in as a super-lame subplot and not even give her any action? She could have at least broken Jeff’s hand or something.

And where was Sarah Conner during all of this!? Hello crazy parallel-universe-time-travel sub plot action! MILF should have shown up and recognized McTerminator and then they could have made out and blown up Skynet or something.

Oh. Chuck got kidnapped. Sarah and Chuck have relationship issues. Chuck can’t be a spy without the intersect. So it’s like season one all over again, except now it’s two years later.

Make some Jeffster webisodes, NBC. No one watches “The Office” webisodes. They are terrible.