Supernatural: Point of No Return

Faith in the Atmosphere
by Sylvia Bond
Supernatural Episode Review – Season 5, Episode 18
“Point of No Return”

Well, that was a pretty good episode, if I do say so myself. Not that I had anything to do with the making of it, of course, as my contribution has been in watching Show, keeping the faith, keeping my fingers crossed. Waiting for the moment that Dean and/or Sam would say yes to their respective meatsuit duties. But even though that did happen (sort of), and even though I was able to recite dialog along with the characters from time to time (mostly Zach for some odd reason), it didn’t turn out the way I would have thought. And that’s okay, because I would rather Show take an unexpected turn than to bore me to tears and make me wish I had watched something else.

The ep opens with Zach in a bar drinking away his woes with a human. They both talk about getting the pink slip from their jobs, and how degrading it is. Then God (or some other omniscient being) shines his light down and Zach gets his job back, and is no doubt fully reinstated with a pension plan, a bonus scheme, and all his health benefits. At the same time, the humans in the bar, because they cannot process the power of the Holiest of Holies, end up with as smoking corpses with their eyes burned out. Which, when you think about it, makes a clever allusion to what is happening in the real world. The big fat cats get rescued from disasters of their own making, while the regular Joes of this world run out of time and become mere statistics with no more unemployment benefits. So has Show always had a social conscience, or was this just a lucky coincidence?

Meanwhile in a grotty motel, Dean is drinking straight from the bottle while he packs up his most prized possessions. They are, to wit: his leather jacket (which represents his self-image as well as his past), his key ring (which represents the Impala, which then represents the open road along with his free will), and his pearl-handled Taurus 1911 (which represents his chosen vocation: saving people, hunting things). In short, everything that he has, is, or was goes into the box. Then, in block, all caps letters, he is writing a farewell letter. (A nice touch is the detritus of the paper bag that the glass he is half-using was wrapped in, after it was probably oh-so-carefully sanitized by the motel staff.)

The walls of this little dive are a deep green, and Dean is dressed in black and grey, all the tones of which make his skin paper white, as if he’s experiencing a shock from which he cannot recover. (And frankly, green is such a good color for Dean. It makes his eyes bright and his mouth lush and ashen rose, just like the best heroine in a romance novel. But I like him this way, even if he is about to die.) Every little detail points to Dean saying his last goodbyes before he says yes, but all I have to say is, he sure as hell better be writing that letter to SAM, even if he is addressing the box to Magical Bobby. Because, yes, even if Sam doesn’t have a fixed address, Sam is one of the most prized and valued things in Dean’s life. And I have the episode right here to prove it.

All too soon (or, rather, just in time) Sam appears in the doorway. Deep inside, Sam is a bloodhound. He could find a sugar cube in a snowstorm, so it is child’s play for him to track Dean down to the penultimate stop in what Sam refers to as Dean’s “farewell tour.” He even asks after Lisa, because he knows exactly where his brother has been and why he has gone there. (Would he have been so perceptive earlier on, it wouldn’t have gotten to this. Ah, me.) Behind Sam through the open door (which has a 100 on it, in honor of this being Show’s 100th ep) is a concrete block barrier that is covered with what could be lichen or moss. Or maybe it’s just paint. At any rate, it is green. (And is the name of the motel a shout out to the Archangel Mike? Only the set dressers know for sure.)

Sam is wearing a dark jacket that looks olive green to me. The shirt he’s wearing has bits of green striping, and everything that is green around him brings out the sparkle in Sam’s eyes, the rosy, hectic flush in his cheeks, like he’s been running full out. Even his Samhair sticks out like he’s been sleeping sitting up and hasn’t even had time to run his fingers through it.

Though, at the moment, the mien he presents to Dean is calm. Which tells a great deal even before Sam has said much of anything: he is not about to let Dean go marching off to whatever he feels Fate has prescribed for him. Not without Sam dogging his heels and hanging on and being such a pain in the ass that the only thing left for Dean to do is to stop and listen to what Sam has to day. Which, beautifully, points out that the opposite is true: Dean is one of the most prized and valued things in Sam’s life. And I have the episode to prove that, too.

All these details hit me at once, even before a whole lot of dialog has been spoken. And then it gets even better because then the dithering starts. Only it’s not a dither, not really, because the words they say to each other aren’t inconsequential exchanges that lead up to them making a decision about what to do about a case. No, it’s a real conversation. Sam accuses Dean of going on what is ostensibly a suicide mission, though it must have been rather hard to use the word “suicide” in the same breath as “muppet” without laughing. It doesn’t quite fit somehow.

Then it gets worse. For the boys at least, because for me it gets better. Because the boys are really talking, with Sam throwing out bon mots about Dean walking away, and Dean flinging back that he figures that’s Sam’s game. All true, and this is not the first time we’ve heard it. But what makes it a definitive conversation is that Sam states that he was wrong to walk away, every single time, and that Dean will be wrong if he does the same. There’s hard voices and dewy looks, and it’s a wonderful scene of the first water. Everything fits. Everything works. Show could stop it right there and it’d be 100% okay.

But it keeps going, because after all, we’re only about six minutes into the ep. Dean isn’t listening, isn’t going with Sam, isn’t going to let Sam stop him. Dean tells Sam he isn’t hopped up on demon blood and can’t make Dean do anything. Sam, however, has figured out another way. He uses something holy instead of something demonic, which I thought was interesting: he brings with him the Soap Angel, who promptly zaps Dean back to Magical Bobby’s house, where the plot can continue. I don’t think it’s that Sam and the Soap Angel are friends now, not exactly. More that their goals are the same and so these quasi-friends will fight together, on Dean’s behalf, at least for now.

At MB’s, Sam is studious and handsome bent over a pile of books. Dean is glowering and handsome as he leans against a bookshelf. Though MB is wearing a green t-shirt, his house is brown and red and ochre. All of which dulls the sparkly of the boys, and of course makes me miserable anyway, because if we’re at MB’s house, then MB must have something he needs to say. Which never seems to forward the plot, but instead comes across as lines of contractual obligation for the actor.

There is a hard discussion between Dean and MB as to whether or not what they are doing is futile. In the midst of the loud words flung about like so many sharp knives, MB says, “You can’t give up, son.” To which Dean, with nary a pause and in no uncertain terms, says, “You’re not my father.”

I stood up and applauded. Even though Show has insisted on having Dean say stuff about MB being “like a dad” to the boys, I have never felt that this was a valid thing for Dean to say. Even though, yes, I could agree with the fact that he would want a father figure in his life, I always felt that his statements about this were forced. Especially since there could be no one individual who could replace The Dad, and also because Sam never agreed with Dean about this.

Sam and MB have hardly ever exchanged two words that weren’t about hunting. At no time did I ever really see MB acting as a dad-figure for Sam. MB was just MB, an uncle figure perhaps, but never a dad-figure. So to have Dean SAY that MB wasn’t a father? Marvelous and perfect and too long in coming. Sam shakes his head at Dean. Not because he disagrees, I think, but because it was a cruel thing to say at such a moment, and Sam is being all empathic and sympathetic in this ep.

Cruel or not, I don’t quite know what to do or who to thank for the “not my father” line, but the bottom line is this. You cannot replace a dad. Any dad. Ever. And especially not a dad like The Dad, like John Winchester, who surely looms so large in Sam and Dean’s collective memories that he seems almost to be present even though his death is several years in the past. It’s an insult to John and his boys to imagine that such an influential and loved character (and honored and feared and respected and every other emotion that goes into both having a dad and being one) can be replaced. I just hope Show remembers this moment and keeps that in mind. Regardless of whether or not members of Show would want to replace their own dads, there’s no way that Sam and Dean ever could.

This significant, meaningful, and well written (and delivered) line from Dean is then followed by a burst of emo from MB, who insists that if Dean says yes, he will shoot himself. Of course, he’s got the gun and the bullet out, and then proceeds to chew the scenery, only not in a good way. MB is not (and should not be) a dramatic, emo mess who needs to shout and make threats to get his point across. If MB doesn’t want Dean to say yes, all he has to do is say so. I cringed at this line, not just for myself, but for MB fans everywhere. Why, oh why does Show give Beaver such clunky line like this?

Luckily we are saved from all the emotionalism by the Soap Angel having a moment of distress. Maybe it’s a migraine. Maybe it’s cramps. All I know is that he disappears in a flutter of paper and wind. I always enjoy Dean’s reaction, the chin jerk that he does when this happens, and he does it every time the Soap Angel takes to wing. Which gives the whole notion of someone disappearing in front of you a bit of realism, because it nicely offsets the fact that someone disappearing on you is quite impossible. Or should be impossible. Except this is Show, so, there you have it.

Anyway, the Soap Angel ends up deep, deep in the woods to have a muddy, knife flashing, angel puddle battle. I don’t care who he’s fighting, frankly, because I’m distracted by the body-sized indentions in the ground, which are filled up with water. This means that either Godzilla came through right after it rained, or Show had to film this scene several times in order for whoever was in the ground to break through the surface in the appropriately creepy way.

Well, it’s the latter, because soon enough the Soap Angel pulls a figure out of the ground. For one heart-stopping moment I thought, oh, joy, it’s The Dad. But no. It’s Adam, who you will recall held the dubious title of being Sam and Dean’s half brother, as well as being John’s illegitimate child. (There is no record that he married Adam’s mother.) But, the last we saw Adam was after his untimely death, with his gut cut open and his innards spilling out in a noisome, bloody mess. And now, what ho! He is of a piece, all intact, right down to his manly Winchester eyebrows, and those bright Winchester green eyes. Oh, those angels. Is there nothing they can’t do?

Back to MB’s house we go, where Sam is guarding the fridge, so Dean can’t get any beer unless he says the magic word. I thought this little throw-away interaction was terribly amusing, because siblings, you know. They’ll do their best to irritate you, just because they can. Then the Soap Angel arrives in a flurry of paper and dumps the kid on MB’s bed. There’s a little bit of dithering while Sam and Dean struggle to look sparkly against the ochre-colored walls of MB’s house. Okay. Let me clarify that. They don’t have to struggle to look pretty, ever, but ochre is so not their color. Maybe that’s part of the reason why I don’t like MB’s house, because it works so hard to dim the boys and their sparkly.

At any rate, they introduce themselves to Adam, and Adam already knows them. The angels told him and warned him about the Winchesters, so right at the moment, Adam is Zach’s boy. He gets cleaned up, and is served a dram of brandy (or whatever), and full out admits it. He knows the Winchester boys are liars, and they are not among the most prized and valued things in his life.

The most prized and valued thing in his life is his mother. Promises have been made by Zach that Adam will see his mom again if he does what he’s told. However, things don’t look promising for Adam because he doesn’t know what we know: Zach is a dick and will screw you over quicker than a corporate CEO. I did like the exchange between Dean and Adam, who take a little side trip from saving the world from the apocalypse to discuss Adam’s memory of working his way to third base with a girl (“missed it by that much”). And actually this, and was in keeping with their characters, as was Sam’s warning throat noises, worthy of any governess.

The discussion continues as Adam tells them he’s replaced Dean as the Chosen. He’s fairly casual about it, which means that he doesn’t understand the implications of what he’s agreeing to do. The Soap Angel speculates that the angels have moved on because Adam is John’s bloodline and, (more importantly!) Sam’s brother. Then he says, “Maybe they wrongly assumed Dean would be brave enough to withstand them.” Which doesn’t mean what he thinks it means, because the angels aren’t wrongly assuming this, they’re correctly assuming that Dean will withstand them and say no and thusly they have placed their bets on Adam.

At any rate, this is of no matter because Dean turns and snaps out, “You know what, blow me, Cas.” Only he doesn’t mean it in the most obvious way, even though the language is pretty provocative and had my friend in Alaska sputtering, “Oh, it’s just…and it…oh!” and I’ll swear she was squeaking instead of talking. (I truly believe that sometimes Show is messing with fans just to mess with them.) Sam, in the midst of this whole conversation is Mr. Cool, Mr. Objective, and Mr. Let Me Spell It Out For as he clarifies what’s at stake and what has to happen. In spite of the opportunity for his character to come to the fore, I was rather distracted by his splayed thighs and the way his manly hands lay upon them. Show has got my number, I know that they do, otherwise they wouldn’t keep doing this to me, distracting me from a fairly interesting plot by all this sexiness.

In spite of this distraction, I could clearly see that that Sam seems to be the only one keeping his cool throughout. Yes, he’s got feelings about it but under the pressure and the emo flying all around his lovely head, he’s rising to the occasion with a sense of purpose. As if his entire life has been structured to bring him to this moment, where his main job is to keep MB, Adam, the Soap Angel, and Dean all calm and talking. Which is, when you think about it, rather a lot to ask a character who so very recently, and for ever so long, has been relegated to Guest Towel status.

Sam wants Adam to trust him because they’re “blood.” To which Adam responded that “John Winchester was some guy who took me to a baseball game once a year. I don’t have a dad.” I was so very glad to have Dean in the room to hear that, although it might take a couple of repetitions for him to fully understand what it means. For all there were pictures of The Dad and Adam fishing and at a ball game (as I recall), Adam was never The Dad’s boy.

Adam was a once a year drive by, so to speak, and his mother even less than that, if The Dad was busy doing fatherly things with Adam instead of spending time with Adam’s mom. Which means that Sam and Dean were truly The Dad’s boys. His sons. I rather liked knowing that The Dad wasn’t ever that fickle as to choose another boy over his own. That while he was with Adam, even though The Dad was playing at Happy Families, what Dean got was real. Which won’t change facts, but perhaps will make Dean feel a little less unloved.

The plot thickens and the lighting darkens. Adam takes advantage of MB’s back being turned to try and sashay his way out the door. Only Sam is there, in a big shouldered, tall, imposing, in-your-face-you’re-not-escaping kind of way. Sam plies Adam with beer. In addition to the marvelous close-ups of Sam, the conversation had some interesting reveals. Sam makes comments about how The Dad was trying to protect Adam, even if Sam, previously, made a valiant attempt to train Adam in the ways of a hunter. Now Sam tells him, “The one thing worse than seeing The Dad once a year was seeing him all year. To which Adam replies, “Do you know how full of crap you are?” His point is well taken; he had no father and would have given anything to have what Sam had. And I think Sam agrees that what he had was valuable, which is saying a lot, considering how much Sam and The Dad butted heads over the years.

Sam goes down to the Panic Room, where lo and behold, Dean has been being kept while beer and badly made cheese and baloney sandwiches were being served in the house above him. (We get another provocative comment from Dean as he says to Cas, who is glowering at him, “Cas, the last person who looked at me like that, I got laid.” Oh my, how fun this dialog is.)

Sam is telling Dean that he gets it, but isn’t letting Dean do it. He’s got total control of the conversation, even if Dean’s not agreeing. Dean wants to say yes, and Sam doesn’t want him to. And like true siblings, they’re going to go round and round until one of them gives up. Only in this case, neither one is. But I love the fact that Sam wants them to stick together, regardless of the fact that Dean has no faith or trust in Sam and fully expects him to say yes to Lucky. (And while they talk, Dean’s face is in light, and Sam’s face is in shadow, and I want to know why!)

Another difficult conversation ensues upstairs, and the Soap Angel meanders to the Panic Room to check on Dean. Oh, man, did I love Dean in this scene. He’s not stupid, he’s never been stupid, but here, he becomes super smart. Charlie Eppes smart. Rodney McKay smart. He draws that symbol on the wall, and when the Soap Angel comes within range, he places his hand in the middle of it and zap, the Soap Angel is no longer there. Which gives Dean the opportunity to slip on what must surely be an olive green jacket and tip toe his way out of the darkly lit basement of MB’s house. To what end? Why to say yes, of course. Isn’t that been his whole plan all along?

Adam ends up in his heaven, which is a playground his mom used to take him to. (The fog makes a perfect setting for the dreamy idea of being in heaven.) Only Zach is there too, which makes this a little less than ideal for Adam, mostly because Zach tells him Adam must do Zach’s bidding for him first before he can see his mom. This makes perfect sense; continuity, thy name is Show. Zach is the type to dangle a carrot stick without ever meaning to follow through. He’s all bright eyed and chipper and lying through his teeth. Because while yes it’s true that Adam is of John’s blood line, he’s not also of Mary’s, which makes him less valuable.

More importantly than the lies Zach is telling Adam, is the truths he’s telling him as well. Amidst his diatribe about the Winchester boys, and how he feels they are completely unworthy of being God’s chosen, he applies a string of descriptors, most importantly this one: the boys are erotically co-dependent.

Wiki says erotic is the “state of arousal and anticipation, but also the attempt through various means to incite those feelings.” So does it mean that the boys are co-dependent in a way that is erotic to the observer? Or that they are they co-dependent to each other in an erotic sort of way? Regardless, it made my friend in Alaska squeak even more, although I was quick to tell her that just because Zach’s making this type of statement might make it okay, it doesn’t make it any more true because the whole of fandom has been saying it for years.

Still, that canon has now validated this idea (and along with the whole “soul mates” comment that Ash recently made), I think the votes are all in here. Say what you want, believe what you will, take it to the degree that you will (or not at all), but the fact remains: Sam and Dean belong together forever, and together is the only way they are going to be able to save the world. It’s the ultimate bromance.

Dean struts onto a street scene. (Please note the many neon signs for beer in the background. I’m not quite sure what they mean, but I’m thinking about it. And I’m thinking about it because Show keeps thrusting it in front of me.) He approaches a corner-standing bible thumper and makes his presence known so that he can get in touch with the angels to say yes. But guess who shows up instead? It’s the Soap Angel and boy is he pissed.

Why? Because after all that he’s done and sacrificed and given up, all in the name of protecting Dean from Zach (and from saying yes), Dean has to go and spoil it all by saying (and doing) something stupid. It was another angel puddle battle, but this time Dean was the focus of the Soap Angel’s rage. I wouldn’t think that normally a servant of heaven (even a fallen one) would unleash his rage like that on a human (and indeed, would they even experience anything other than adulant bliss at the Glory of God?) but it was a good fight.

Partly because it was fun watching a heretofore rather calm and unemotional character come apart. But mostly, I’ll admit, I like it when Dean gets battered like this. (If you could explain to me why, I’d be very grateful. The only thing that saves me is that I know I’m not alone.) More importantly, in addition to the fists flying and the bloody nose and Dean’s beautiful expressions of confusion and pain, is the wall slamming. Before this, Sam was the only person who cared enough (or got upset with Dean enough) to slam Dean against a wall. And while I’m not the biggest Soap Angel fan in the world (I’m probably the smallest), the fact remains that the Soap Angel means something to Dean. And for there to be wall slamming amidst all this anger? That means something too, and that is that Dean knows he’s betrayed the Soap Angel terribly badly.

Meanwhile, Sam and MB have a little fight about Adam being missing. Sam rips his hands through his Samhair, which makes it stand a little on edge, and makes me fall a little in love. Or, rather, a little more in love with this character. Then the Soap Angel shows up and dumps Dean’s body on MB’s bed. What is with this? It’s like the same scene as when Adam’s body was dumped on the bed, only different.

Meanwhile, Zach has taken Adam to the Green Room, which has the same surreal overtones that it did the last time Dean was there. There is even a bowl of ice cold beer and perfectly made cheeseburgers.

Let’s talk about the beer for a minute. Beer seems to be everywhere in this ep. First, Sam is standing in the way of Dean getting beer. Then he gives Adam beer, sort of as a treat for staying. Then there were all those beer signs outside the alley where the Soap Angel handed Dean his ass. Then Zach offers Adam beer in the Green Room, along with cheeseburgers, as an enticement to have Adam say yes to Mike. But why all this beer? Is it symbolic in some way?

Maybe the beer doesn’t mean anything. However, as you must know, beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy, according to Ben Franklin. So maybe the beer is allegorical, a symbol of God’s love, and a demonstration of his omnipresence. Maybe I’m reaching here, but the beer was everywhere in this ep. If you have a better idea, I’d like to hear it.

Anyway, while it’s entirely plausible that these beer and cheeseburgers are Adam’s favorite, they are known to be Dean’s, thus it’s obvious that what the angels still want is Dean. Poor Adam is an also-ran even before he’s out of the gate, and it’s not the small belch that is an indicator of Adam’s less than ascension-worthy status, even if it’s the most obvious evidence of it. No, it’s the fact that he eats and drinks what’s offered to him that slam him out of line as the Chosen. (Plus, now he’ll never get out of Fairy Land!) And Zach confirms it: Adam is out, he’s just there to be bait to attract Dean.

Back at MB’s, Sam has taken the opportunity of Dean’s unconsciousness to handcuff him to the bed in the Panic Room. (Yeah, okay boys, it’s like that, is it?) But however long Dean’s been handcuffed, Sam unlocks him the almost instant Dean wakes up. (And oh, how deliciously he does that!) Sam’s got a lot to say, most of it having to do with faith and trust and not doing it alone.

I’ve said it before this and I’ll say it again Regardless of what Dean has ever had and lost faith in (be it God or The Dad), Sam’s faith has always been vested in Dean. As long as Dean was around, Sam would always have his faith, his steadfastness would be intact. (Which is why, the Summer Dean Was in Hell Sam fell from grace and consorted with a demon, in more ways than one.)

Dean is honest with Sam in that if he gets out, he will go say yes to Mike. But Sam says that if Sam wants Dean to trust him (which he does, painfully so) then what he must do is trust Dean in return. And he trusts him to do with right thing. They’ve both relatively calm, and really talking and listening, and saying the truth. Sam has very high expectations for Dean. And what else can you do but rise to those expectations? Especially if you’re Dean, and Sam is your little brother and looking to you to do exactly the right thing? It’s the most beautiful conversation ever.

The daring trio trot out to Van Nuys, California, where the Green Room is hidden inside a small, shambled shack inside an abandoned warehouse. I make no claim to understanding why the Green Room is in California, or what the significance in Van Nuys is, or whether the palm tree (and its shadow) was faked. California has always been a rather surreal place both on the map and in dreams. California is the place you want to be, I’ve been told, because according to a visiting student from Germany, I surely wanted to move there as fast as I could because that’s where everything is and happens. And this said as if nothing ever happened anywhere else in the country. (Let’s just forget the Alamo, shall we?) Anyway, let’s take the Van Nuys reference as read and move on, okay?

There’s a bit of a dither, and the Soap Angel takes off his tie and proffers a box cutter. Why does he take off his tie? What’s with the box cutter? I do not know, but in he goes while the boys loiter outside. There’s another angle puddle battle, complete with its requisite flashing angel-killing knives, the dampness of the floor underfoot, and the spinning tails of the Soap Angel’s Colombo-styled raincoat.

I never doubted that he’d win, I just couldn’t ever imagine how. At the last minute, after he’s conned the angels in getting close to him, the Soap Angel shucks his coat and shirt, and presses his hand to his bare chest. Before you can hear the fangirls sigh, there you see that he’s carved that symbol into his skin that will send the other angels packing.

Hello, how? With the box cutter, of course. I had a moment, at that moment, and it went like this: “Holy frakking crap!” And in that moment, I was duly impressed that this floppy little secondary character, for whom I lost no love, would do something like that. Angels feel pain, at least they do in Show, so what must it have cost him to slice himself to shreds like that? I still don’t like the Soap Angel overly much, but yeah, I have to give him props for this move. It was slick and it took guts.

Then Dean enters the scene, finding his way into the Green Room to discover Adam crumbled on the floor and bleeding from the mouth. The whole scene had the feeling of the line from the Ralph Waldo Emerson poem, Give All to Love, which says, “When the half-gods go, the gods arrive.” Which in this case roughly translates to: “When Dean arrives, he’s first and everyone else is nowhere.” Poor Adam. He’s terribly moved by the fact that Dean came to save him. But perhaps Adam never had a chance to learn what Dean learned from the cradle: family is family, and that is more important than anything else.

While Zach is tormenting Dean and Adam, Sam comes up from behind to slash and stab. Perhaps he’s a bit worked up because he misses and is easily swatted away, like an errant fly. Still, I liked the setup of this scene, of Dean and Sam acting together, sword and shield. Or in this case, distracting chatter and flashing angel-killing sword. Just the same. Sam and Dean acting together, what could be better?

Zach pulls his strings like the puppeteer he is. He’s got both Adam and Sam on the floor coughing up blood, and it occurred to me to wonder why he’d never tried this trick before? But at any rate, he’s got Dean by the short and curlies; Dean has to say yes right now or the brother and the half-brother get it. (This is a well-known trope for TV villains everywhere, but it works for me every time.)

The expression on Dean’s face when he looks at Adam is full of regret and sorrow, as one might feel for any human being in that predicament. But when he looks at Sam, his expression changes. Yes, there’s regret and sorrow, but there’s love there as well, love and angst and emo and devotion and undertones of erotic co-dependency. What price will Dean pay to save the world, and is the price of his beloved Sam too much? I’ve been thinking all along that Dean would say yes, and now here is his chance. I think he’s going to do it and then he does. He says yes. But then everything changes.

I thought this was a marvelous scene, fast paced and interesting and unexpected, in all the best ways. The second Dean says yes, he looks at Sam. And Sam’s looking at Dean with astonishment, as if he’s saying “Don’t say yes, don’t give up!” And then Dean winks at Sam. In addition to the shaky camera (which signals an angel’s approach), I thought for a second that Dean had already been inhabited by Mike. Because, heretofore this, I have never, ever, ever seen Dean wink at Sam, let alone anyone else.

But after Zach does the incantation to summon Mike, Dean carries on in a fairly Deanish manner, and before he says yes, he wants his list of demands met. First up, he’s got a lot of people he wants behind the velvet rope when the apocalypse comes down, and that Zach can do. In fact, he seems like he was expecting it. Then Dean makes the demand that Mike turn Zach into charcoal. Zach thinks this is horribly funny and of course now that he’s got his pension and his benefits and his corner office once more, he highly doubts that he’ll be turned into any such thing.

But Dean’s got the angel killing knife and even though there aren’t any puddles for an angel puddle battle, Dean slices the knife right up through the bottom of Zach’s chin. And while this was a marvelous moment in and of itself, I saw a glowy light in Dean’s eyes. A reflection of hell’s fire burning Zach from the inside? A reflection of Mike inside of Dean? A reflection of Dean’s own pure soul coming to the fore? Or was it just the special effects team gone wild and means nothing at all? Well, I’m the viewer and I get to decide what it meant to me, and I say this: it’s a reflection of Dean’s purity. Your mileage may vary.

The holy light of heaven is coming and the rescue ensues. But while Dean is able to get Sam out of the room, Adam is trapped, and the holy light takes him. Will he, the expendable, half-brother, not quite a Winchester become Mike’s meatsuit? Only time will tell. But the fact that Dean saved Sam first is in keeping with the whole “Dean first, the rest nowhere” idea, because if Dean is first, then he will always insist on keeping Sam close behind him. Or better yet, erotically co-dependently beside him.

Alas poor Adam, we knew him well. Or at least, we knew him for a moment, and I have a feeling his fate will not be pretty. In the meantime, Sam and Dean drive off in the Impala. In the rain. Can you say pale and battered and sweet boys dithering? I knew that you could. Erotically co-dependently dithering, as well. (I really ought to thank Show for that line, I’ve gotten more mileage out of it than I ever thought I could. And, please God, will continue to do so for many weeks to come.)

There’s the half-light of the streetlights and headlights that cast intriguing shadows and flicker in the boys’ eyes, and light up their beautiful mouths and quirky little smiles as they talk. “What changed your mind?” Sam asks. “The damndest thing,” says Dean. “I didn’t want to let you down.” It’s all about big brothers and little brothers, and how while some dynamics never change, others do. Sam has always had faith in Dean, and Dean wants to return the favor of having a little faith in Sam. They are together on the road, but most importantly, they are together and are prepared to screw destiny and make their own fates.

I mean, really. Who filmed this? Who wrote this? Where have they been all season long? At any rate, Show, here’s a beer for you, because in my world, beer means love as well as happiness.

Sylvia Bond is a ten-year technical writing veteran with too many degrees under her belt to count. She lives in Colorado, but does not ski, preferring instead to spend her money and time at the annual Great American Beer Festival, taking road trips across the United States, and reading historical fiction from the comfort of her fluffy green arm chair. She has been involved in fandom since 1993 and been writing fanfic since approximately 1993. What she finds most amazing about fandom (besides the open heartedness of fans and the sheer amount of creativity) is how visible fandom has become. “In my day,” she says, “we had to hide behind P.O. boxes to get fanfic. But nowadays, people wear t-shirts that shout their affiliation and share their shiny toys on the internet.” It’s a wonderful world.

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