The Gilligan’s Island Fantasy Casting Couch

By Lisa Fary

Somehow I’m not as horrified by the idea of a Gilligan’s Island remake as I am at say. . . a remake of The Thing or Footloose. By the time I was watching it, the show was already 15 years old and I never quite developed an attachment to it. I was a science nerd as a kid, so the idea that the Professor could build a working radio out of coconuts and bamboo kinda killed the show for me.

But, that’s not to say it wouldn’t be good as a remake. It all depends on the writer, the director and the cast. The script is being written by Brad Copeland, who wrote on Arrested Development, so that’s got promise. Let’s just hope it doesn’t wind up a slapstick parody of Lost.

Now, my fantasy casting couch:

Gilligan
I’m the only person in the world who doesn’t want to see Michael Cera in this role. Cera is in everything anymore, so let’s give some other awkward, skinny dude a shot. Besides, Cera has had this weird transcendence in which he’s no longer nerdy-nerdy. Now he’s cool-nerdy.

My pick for Gilligan is Danny Pudi from NBC’s Community.

The Skipper

My pick is James Gandolfini.

Thurston and Eunice “Lovey” Howell

I initially thought I was casting younger than the original actors, but my picks for the millionaire and his wife are age appropriate. I suppose we just have better moisturizer and plastic surgery these days. I’d go with Alec Baldwin and Sharon Stone.

Ginger

This was the easiest to cast. My pick is Christina Hendricks.

The Professor

There are two possibilities for The Professor and I just can’t make up my mind: Tim Robbins or Misha Collins.

Mary Ann

Mary Ann was also difficult to cast. She has to be a plucky, girl-next-door type. Sexy, but not in a way that upstages Ginger. My pick is Natalie Morales, who played Wendy Watson on The Middleman and is currently on White Collar.

Those are my picks. What do you think?

Lisa Fary is a graduate of the creative writing program at Florida State University and holds an advanced degree in Special Education. Her earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She’s angry that it’s 2010 and she still doesn’t have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram.

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