Supernatural: My Bloody Valentine

The Darling Little Sammy Who Could
by Sylvia Bond
Supernatural Episode Review – Season 5, Episode 14
“My Bloody Valentine”

Both Sam and Dean are ridiculously pretty in this episode. I wanted to say that up front in case in the throes of discussing various things that I forget to mention it. Not that I would ever forget to see it, you understand, but it was one of the things that struck me about this episode. Not that the boys are ever not pretty, but this time around, there was something about the lighting and the makeup and (oh my yes) the hair that I haven’t seen this perfect in a while so I was rather blown away by the ridiculously ridiculously pretty boys.

This week, our last week before an enormous hiatus (on account of the Olympics being held in Vancouver and all), Show gives us a plot where Famine (of Four Horsemen fame) comes to town and wreaks havoc and destruction. Any and all who come within his vicinity become terribly hungry for whatever it is they hunger for, be it sex, or drugs, or rock-n-roll. Then the boys struggle when they themselves succumb to Famine’s influence, and it gets tricky from there. Naturally, the boys win the day, but, this being Show, it’s not without some dicey ramifications.

The first couple who succumb in the opening teaser (two virgins from what I can tell) are so taken by Famine’s influence that they EAT each other up. It was gross. It was more than gross, it was disgusting. There was blood and teeth and gums as they gnawed on each other and the blood flowed. It was one of those “I couldn’t watch” moments, which Show hasn’t had in a long time either, so I’m thinking the Blood Artist and the Special Effects People had a special, late night, coffee-driven convocation and said, HEY! Let’s make it gross! And they did.

To what end? Why, it’s so Sam and Dean could don dark suits (perfectly tailored to their broad shoulders), and almost matching striped ties (which indicates the level of their connection, in this case, sorta connected, otherwise the stripes on both ties would be going in the same direction), of course, and do their research. First Sam interviews the friend of the female victim, and he looks very sweet. Then Sam and Dean do a motel-style dither, complete with fast food drink cups, the laptop, and Dean posing like a cat with his feet up on the desk.

It gets terribly cute, and Sam gets very loving when he gives Dean the nod to “unleash the Kraken” which is apparently, Sam’s pet name for Dean’s penis. Which makes one wonder why Sam has come up with such a pet name, you know? At any rate, he wants Dean to go out so that Dean can enjoy his favorite holiday of the year, Valentine’s Day, or as Dean calls it, Unattached Drifter Christmas. Dean oddly turns it down, which gives me an inkling that all is not right with Dean, for when does the boy ever, ever turn down a chance for nookie? Only when the world needs saving, or when Sam has a cold. (I see in the background that the Coleman cooler, in retro green, which I last recall seeing in the Season 3 ep, Fresh Blood. Do they actually cart that thing in the trunk of the Impala?)

Another couple bites the dust, giving Sam and Dean another chance to march into the local morgue, while Sam gets whiplash checking out a secondary character who is, no doubt, a demon. Of note is the guy who plays the doctor in the morgue. He was such a natural with the boys that I thought he might make a nice recurring character. Naturally, he dies, so no luck there. Anyway, Sam and Dean and their broad shoulders look at dead bodies. And it just gets prettier from there.

Well, not the part where the camera focuses on the moldering hearts and stiffening body parts and stuff, but will you look at those shoulders? Maybe it’s men in white button-down shirts that get me, or the fact that Sam and Dean are talking and communicating and actually working together. Or maybe I’m too easily pleased when presented by the pretty. Dean makes his usual terribly cute “ick” faces at the body parts, whereas Sam is all focused and doctor-like, which always makes me think he missed his calling. (The rolled up shirt sleeves and loosened ties make the boys even cuter. Plus, I can hardly resist Dean getting all goofy and saying to Sam, “Hey. Be my valentine?” Do you think he meant it?)

After they identify angel scratches on the hearts, Dean calls the Soap Angel to do their brain-work for them, because they’re already in over their heads. I so dearly miss the old days when the lads would figure it out on their own, don’t you? At least the Soap Angel’s entry into the story was a little bit funny; I always have to laugh when he uses the cell phone and just doesn’t get it because that’s the way I feel when I use one. As in “Jane, stop this crazy thing!” because there are too many buttons and none of them clearly labeled.

The Soap Angel explains that it’s Cupid at work, and there’s something gone haywire with the results because a hungry love turns into a devouring love, literally. One of my first thoughts was, naughtily, that since Sam and Dean have this weird, brotherly, love-hate thing going on, and they tend to be a little obsessed with each other 24/7, would they then succumb to that and become each other’s valentines? Would the eating then start? I kept waiting for it, some indication, a movement of the mouth (Dean’s) or a look from beneath dark brows (Sam’s) that would take the story into a deliciously dangerous direction. Alas, no, though I feel fairly certain that I’m not the only one who thought this.

Everyone troops out to a restaurant where, this being Valentine’s Day, there are tons of couples in various stages of courtship. Sam and Dean both look very handsome beneath the seductive ambient lighting. I mean, check it, there’s a certain color to their skin and a flush of cheek and lip, and hair artfully arranged. Who are they courting, if not each other? (And me, of course.) If my thoughts strayed overly much from the plot to this visual feast, it really isn’t fair, you know? How’s a girl supposed to concentrate when there’s BOYS to look at? I blame Show and the confluence of this episode with Valentine’s Day, the latter of which was designed to plant these kinds of stupid thoughts in my head.

Anyway, the Soap Angel is able to ascertain the presence of Cupid as all the couples become instantly enamored with each other, though, alas, Sam and Dean are unaffected. Or are they? In the midst of this is the bit where Dean doesn’t eat his cheeseburger. In keeping with the scene in the motel, where Sam encouraged Dean to go out and do his annual Valentine’s Day romp, and Dean demurred. I thought this was a nice, subtle plant of Show demonstrating that Dean was unaffected by Cupid’s sting mixed with Famine’s poison. Dean has a particular character trait of being a glutton of food and sex, through which he sublimates his need for love and affection, and so on. So to see him now refuse both of those is pretty significant; for some reason, as everyone else in the town grows more hungry, Dean grows less. Whatever can it mean? Sam is concerned about Dean, and I like it when that happens.

Eventually Show introduces the hilarity of the character of Cupid, who is not a small child done up in a diaper with a tiny golden bow and arrow, no. Cupid, in this case, is a fully grown Rubenesque man with no bow and arrow, and, comically, no diaper. In fact, he’s completely naked. The laughs ensue as everyone tries not to look at Cupid’s junk and fails. Nekked Cupid hugs Dean from behind, with Dean doing his best “urk!” face, and then Cupid hugs the Soap Angel, because that’s how they shake hands, even though no one enjoys it. But what made me laugh most was Sam seeing what was coming and saying “Oh, no!” and trying to run away. But Cupid is fast, and even Sam’s long legs couldn’t offer him escape.

I’d like to take this moment to thank Show for the equally nekked man and woman in the opening scene, and for attempting to produce this fully nekked man in response to my all-too-frequent cries for Equal Opportunity Nekked Nudity. I thank you, Show, I really do, for at least following the spirit of the law, even though the idea was to have the nekkedness apply to men with the same guidelines as they do to women. That is, if you’re going to constantly show beautiful naked women, then you should also show beautiful naked men. Get me someone who would look good naked, like Ackles, or Padalecki, or Lou Diamond Phillips. Or, heck, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, now there’s a beautiful man. But nice try, so points there.

It’s pretty easy for the Soap Angel to figure out that while Cupid is responsible for everyone falling in love, he’s not also responsible for the local cannibalism. There’s more hugging of the nekked Cupid and that zappy music in the background that Show plays when goofiness abounds. Just in case a large, naked guy wasn’t enough to clue us in. We also get to learn that Mary and John Winchester did not fall in love at first sight, that in fact, they couldn’t stand each other. But the bloodline had to continue, so they became a match made in heaven.

As Cupid disappears, in a quick little scene, Sam wants to know if Dean is ready for some sharing and caring. Naturally Dean is not, and marches off, giving the camera the opportunity to pan in for a nice close-up of Sam’s face. Which gives the whole scene a tragedy of the lovelorn feel, which further asks the question, are the brothers ever going to become each other’s valentines?

Next up, ridiculously pretty Sam goes out on his own to the morgue to do some checking up on the latest dead character. After which, Show gives me some very nice shots of Sam’s long, striding legs and ax-handle wide shoulders, and his lovely dark hair shifting in the breeze as he moves along the street. I’d like to bring up now that there are not enough shots like this one, either of Sam, or, Dean, for that matter. But I did like the scene in the alley, where, alone and Dean-less, Sam rises up to his usual mettle and becomes the fighter extraordinaire when he tries to take down a demon with the demon killing-knife. I thought it interesting that Sam could smell the demon from a mile off. Was this always something he could do, or was it some Famine-induced ability? Never mind. I shall call him He Who Fights Better With His Hair In His Eyes.

When Sam gets back to the motel, and they look at the briefcase that Sam wrangled from the demon, he does not, naturally, mention the part where he looked at the demon-blood drenched blade whilst drooling. I worry about Sam constantly when he’s confronted like this, because he himself has mentioned how weak he feels in the face of this particular temptation. And, need I mention, the scene in the motel is pretty, just about as pretty as it gets. Remember, I like my men scruffy. Sam and Dean are dressed down in flannel and jeans, and their hair is fresh-washed clean, and their skin looks absolutely touchable. I am distracted to the point of making up an even longer continuation of this bit of dialog.

But it gets better. The Soap Angel explains about Famine getting ready to march across the land and stuff. Then, while the Soap Angel and Dean discuss battle plans, Sam is in the bathroom sweating and shaking and wiping his manly brow with a cold washcloth and looking just about as delish as he possibly can. I like him all flushed and troubled like this, though I’ll freely admit that I didn’t enjoy this scene the first time around. When Sam asked Dean to tie him up so that he couldn’t to succumb to the blood lust, I was just too worried about Sam being so vulnerable to appreciate the beauty of it, no, not with Famine and a bunch of demons running around.

But the second time around, oh, you bet, I enjoyed myself totally. Especially the part where Sam confesses to Dean that he’s got a craving for blood, cause he looks so good when he shakes and comes apart like that. Then he tells Dean to lock him down but good this time. Which has a subtle indication that this wouldn’t be the first time that Dean has had to tie Sam down for his own good. And then there was the bit where Dean actually does the handcuffing. Kinda like he’s been there before, eh? And then, to finish up with, there was the kinky, button-pushing sight of Sam handcuffed to the sink with his hair all sweaty and sticking to his skin on account of his efforts to break the pipes to free himself. (Show’s been reading fan fiction again, hasn’t it!)

Naturally, while Dean is off looking dreamy and dishy in the window-speckled frame of a rain-dappled Impala, Sam’s worst nightmare comes true. He is tied up, suffering from blood lust, and in walks a pair of demons. Once Sam lays eyes on them, it was like watching a pile of éclairs being offered to someone on Weight Watchers. And once the male demon breaks the handcuffs off Sam, he comes completely undone. There’s smashing and crashing and Samhair flying and we wind up with Sam drinking the demon blood from the female demon. Not only does Sam fall off the wagon and rack up far too many points for his program, naturally, this being Show, and since Show can’t have anything the censors would object to, Sam is not drinking the blood from the neck of the male demon, which I would have found a whole lot more interesting. But, damn, it was glorious to watch Sam slam the male demon around and tell him to “Wait your turn,” just the same.

Meanwhile, our rain-dappled Dean and the trench-coated Soap Angel are losing the battle with Famine and his goons at the all-you-can eat buffet. (Frankly, if I’d wanted to watch some guy in a trench coat stuff his face the way the Soap Angel does in this ep, I could have trundled on down to Furrs; I didn’t pay my nickel to watch him eat, thank you very much!) And when I say losing, I mean that the Soap Angle is soon hunkered over a tin pan of raw hamburger (which anyone could tell you is crawling with germs) and Dean, oh, the dear boy, is all battered and whumped. The Blood Artist was even so gracious as to add a tone of lost boy in the bruised lip and in the blood dripping down the side of Dean’s temple. I’m sure there’s a school for Blood Artists, not to mention several seminars throughout the year, because they really pulled out the stops here.

There’s a low point, as Famine tries to get Dean to buckle down and hunger for something, but Dean, as we’ve seen, hungers for nothing, in spite of Famine’s influence. Not sex, not food, not drink, not nothing, not nohow. Famine points out that Dean is an empty hollow shell, all dead inside, and while Dean’s expression is a thing of beauty to behold, when have we heard this before? Or better yet, when have we not heard this before? And it’s not that I mind having the delight of Dean’s chin going all woobie or his eyes lighting up with that special emo angry flare, no. But we know about the hollow space in Dean’s psyche, Dean knows about it, and all the demons and angels that have ever walked the earth or ever will walk the earth know about it. To what end, Show, to what end, I ask thee, dost thou keep bringing it up? When will we find out what Dean’s gonna do about it?

Amidst the dire straits in walks Sam, with his chin looking like he’s been at the raspberry jam, and bursting from the seams with muscle and sinew and still more muscle and all hulked out on demon blood. It’s Sam’s worst nightmare, this falling off the wagon, and it’s Dean’s too. You can tell by his face, the grief-stricken tilt of his eyes, and his, “No, Sammy, no” which I heard this time around, yes, it’s all there. But if Sam didn’t step in to save the day, then who would? Even at the cost of falling off the wagon, darling little Sammy is proving that he is willing to put his money where his mouth is. That he would, if needed, trade his soul to save the billionty gabillion souls that inhabit the earth, especially Dean’s.

And it’s how he saves the day that’s really cool. First, with the power of his mind and that manly raised hand, he exorcises the six demons standing around Famine. Then Famine swallows those souls, and mocks Sam, and tempts him and all sorts of bad things. You know what Sam does? He admits he can’t kill Famine, but he sure as heckfire can rip those souls right back out of Famine, through his freaking chest. I’ll admit to liking the part where Sam’s nose starts gushing blood (which was much more artistic than the raspberry stain around his mouth, because I kept thinking, to be more realistic the blood stain should be off centered, not completely centered like a clown’s mouth). And I liked the look on Dean’s face. The one that said, “Oh, crap, Sam’s super powerful and scary now!” And then Sam’s look at Dean, that said, “Please don’t hate me because I’m powerful and dripping with demon blood. I need you to not hate me right now.”

Poor Dean. Now he has to lock Sam up in the panic room (at Magical Bobby’s place, I’m thinking) and listen to him scream. And scream, and then scream some more. The Soap Angel’s attempts to soothe Dean fall unheeded, and Dean makes his way out to the yard to stroll amongst the junk cars. In the rain. Naturally, he’s got a bottle of Jack in his hand, and his steps take him unerringly to the side of his beloved Impala, his only home, and, with Sam coming apart, his last refuge.

I sensed that we had an emo scene coming, and was not disappointed, though I would have liked to see Sam doing a little emo dance and scamper himself as he was being locked up in the panic room and not have all that fun cleaning up and struggling done off screen. But no matter, Dean’s level of grief and despondency and loss will have to do. And really, you can’t go wrong when Ackles turns on the waterworks. Or rather, in this case, turns them on only so far, where the tears stay in his eyes, and he looks to heaven for help. God, Ackles does this SO well, it’s scary.

So, about those ramifications I mentioned early on. No, I didn’t forget, in spite of the pretty prettiness of Sam and Dean. But what I’m about to set out is all pure speculation on my part, I have no inside scoop, no secrets to reveal. Just some thoughts to leave you with as we watch Olympic curling and skating and skiing.

Okay, then, so here’s Dean. All along he’s been resisting pretty much any demon or angel flinging their crap at him. He’s quite capable of meeting his earthly needs with wine (or in his case, beer), women (and the occasional man or two, I should think), and song (which should always be classic rock-n-roll). Because of that, he seems resistant to being influenced by anything supernatural. He’s never been possessed, remember? Yeah, a skinwalker got him good once, and a demon had him on the rack in hell for a good 30 years before he said yes and tried his hand at filleting souls. (Get it? Filet of sole? Filleting souls? Oh, stop me.) But he has never not been himself. Never not been the adorable Dean that we’ve come to know and love.

But soft, at the end of this ep, what light through yonder window breaks? It is Dean, with his face turned up to heaven, with his cup empty, and his heart broken into a million pieces. For he cannot help Sam, who has fallen off the wagon in the worst way, and thusly Sam cannot help him, and Dean knows he cannot save the world without Sam. So he is empty, empty as the wind, and in my mind, this would be the most opportune time for him to say yes to the Archangel Mike.

Can you picture it? Mike swoops down into the junkyard and then it happens. With a blaze of heavenly light, and the whispery shadow of white angel wings. Unless something else happens pretty fast and pretty drastically, Dean’s going to become Mike’s meatsuit. At least that’s what I see. What else could happen here? I’m open to suggestion, need I add, as I’d rather have someone put forth a wild and brave idea, rather than have Show take the easy road and have Magical Bobby or the Soap Angel save the day. I’d rather have some fan fiction-inspired brilliant idea than Dean drinking himself to death, or the A. A. Gabe stepping in to scold and fix and set things aright.

If the A.A. Mike uses Dean as his meatsuit, then, at last, Dean will have to turn off free will, and succumb to a force that is not his own, which now that I think of it would be something that would horrify Dean to the very center of his being. And I’m not talking the stricken-with-yellow-fever-and-screaming-because-a-stray-cat-startled-him scared. I’m talking about being FREAKED out to the point of hyperventilating and passing-out- and-peeing-himself scared. Giving up free will is something Dean would rather die than do; his self-image is so ingrained in walking the earth and making his own choices as to making a right or left turn, taking a back road or a main highway, he is the master of his own fate and the captain of his own soul. Unless of course, Sam is in danger. Dean’s choice to give up free will would make things very interesting for this character indeed.

As for Sam? Oh, man. The boy is a train wreck I simply cannot look away from. As hard as he tries, his little brother status follows him around like a faithful hound. His role as black sheep (going off to Stanford and almost getting a full ride to law school, the naughty boy!) and as breaker of the solidarity of family Winchester is just the start of things because oh, how the list goes on and on with all the naughty things Sam has done. (Need we mention sleeping with a demon AND choosing said demon over his own brother?) Even if all his wickedness stops now, it would take more than a few years in the naughty chair for Sam to wash off the stain of his personal guilt over all of his failures. In Sam’s mind, even besting one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse with his bare hands and saving his brother and an angel isn’t enough, his soul will never be as clean and pure as Dean’s.

Which is why Lucky wants Sam, and why Mike wants Dean. At what point would each boy truly decide to give in? Because they’re going to, you know. I feel pretty comfortable that they wouldn’t actually do it to save the world and all of the many souls that inhabit therein. Instead, they would do it to save each other, and the race would be to see who would do it first – so that the other brother wouldn’t have to.

Here’s how I see it coming down. Ever see the end of the movie Spartacus? I’m talking the one made in 1960 and filmed in brilliant Technirama, which was the cutting edge back in the day. The scene I’m talking about that you need to consider is the one where Spartacus (played by Kirk Douglas) and Antoninus (played by Tony Curtis) are forced to battle to the death. The irony is that each man wants to kill the other man to save him, because the one who survives the fight will then be rewarded by a slow death by crucifixion. So for Sam and Dean, each will race to say yes first, so they can destroy mankind, kill their beloved brother, and then suffer the pangs of guilt forever and for all eternity so the other one doesn’t have to. Because that kind of sacrifice is what being a Winchester is all about. And exactly the kind of things fangirls like. At least this fangirl anyway. You can decide for yourself.

Sylvia Bond is a ten-year technical writing veteran with too many degrees under her belt to count. She lives in Colorado, but does not ski, preferring instead to spend her money and time at the annual Great American Beer Festival, taking road trips across the United States, and reading historical fiction from the comfort of her fluffy green arm chair. She has been involved in fandom since 1993 and been writing fanfic since approximately 1993. What she finds most amazing about fandom (besides the open heartedness of fans and the sheer amount of creativity) is how visible fandom has become. “In my day,” she says, “we had to hide behind P.O. boxes to get fanfic. But nowadays, people wear t-shirts that shout their affiliation and share their shiny toys on the internet.” It’s a wonderful world.

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