By Lisa Fary
Now that Thanksgiving is over, I finally figured out what I’m thankful for. Everything sucks so much right now that it was a struggle to come up with something. You know, besides the obvious things like having a job and all my teeth, being in decent health, all the Pink Raygun writers, my family, blah, blah, blah. I feel like naming those things is kind of a cop out, like saying “the day my kid was born” in the inevitable “best day of your life” conversation (mine continues to be the day I rode an elephant at the San Diego Zoo).
I could have just ignored it, like I do with New Year’s resolutions. But, it’s always been a part of the Thanksgiving meal and it didn’t feel quite right to bite into the pasture-raised turkey and dressing without expressing thanks for something. That’s what sets this meal apart; without that, it’s just Thursday dinner.
So, my belated list of stuff for which I’m thankful:
- My family stopped exchanging Christmas gifts. Seriously. I love being able to give them stuff, but holiday gifting is such an effing hassle. There’s so much pressure to find something, get it to the post office in time, wonder if they like it. Plus, we just don’t need more crap in our homes. And no, gift cards are not an acceptable substitute – they don’t say anything. (Now hold this Werther’s Original while I paw through my change purse for exact change and write a thank you note – in cursive. Get it? I’m old.)
- Chuck is coming back. After a largely disappointing fall television season, it’s refreshing to see a consistent pleaser like Chuck return.
- Puppies. What? Puppies make me smile. You don’t have a problem with puppies, do you?
- John and I are spending Christmas with actual people, not just our cats. We’re taking the train to see his family in New England and we’re bringing a suitcase full of meat. John has refused to sing songs from White Christmas with me while en route, but I’m hoping to wear him down enough for at least one chorus of “Snow”.
- Avatar, which I’ve been hearing about for years, is less than three weeks away. It’s either going to be the most awesome thing I’ve ever seen or a $400 million disappointment.
And finally. . .
- It’s the last goddamn season of effing Lost. I’ve shown good faith even though Lost has treated me so badly over the years. This is your last shot at making our time together worthwhile, Lost. I want us to be like we were in season one. Don’t go all BSG on me.
Lisa Fary is a graduate of the creative writing program at Florida State University and holds an advanced degree in Special Education. Her earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She’s angry that it’s almost 2010 and she still doesn’t have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram.
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Lisa Fary's earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She's angry that it's 2011 and she still doesn't have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram. 
You rode an elephant? That's so spectacularly cool! That is so something I would bring up in casual conversation. "So, I've ridden an elephant. BOO YEAH!"
I think that every time I watch Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. "Yeah. I did that."
echoing rhea dee's comment above: you got to ride an elephant? seriously? color me JEALOUS. and nothing says love like a suitcase full of meat. seriously. i wish that was the only present i ever got from people in life. (yay chuck!)
Do different meats say different things, I wonder? Is a suitcase full of smoked ham the same love as a suitcase full of turkey?
The only thing cooler would be if we were to ride elephants, while carrying suitcases full of meat, on the way to my Aunt's house in New England for Christmas.
I remember the elephant and a giant turtle. Jungle Lisa
I'm hoping the same thing for Lost, too. I'm not thankful it's over, but I'm hoping it's worth it.
BTW – I'm WAY thankful for Pink Raygun.
Excellent list, Lisa.
My brother and sister-in-law put a moratorium on "stuff" gifts several years ago, stating a preference for things that don't linger — tickets to shows, food, gift certificates they can use to get exactly what they want rather than trying to explain it to us. It's a strategy that's worked out really well, considering that between us and our parents we're now spread out over about 300 miles of eastern New England. They do still get the occasional tangible gift. (I couldn't resist the early 20th century Boy Scout manuals I found on the cheap for my brother.) But small portables have become the norm.
I am thankful that "Lost" will be over soon, so that I won't have to hear about it any more. I am thankful to be someone that someone is thankful for! And I am thankful that PRG is here, a place where we can dither and obsess, and then obsess some more!
Happy Turkey Day!
Sylvia
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