The Legend Of Neil: Episode 101: The Beginning

By Taralyn Frasqueri-Molina

Legend of Neil is a webseries created by funnyman Sandeep Parikh (Zaboo!) and bankrolled by Atom.com and Comedy Central.  This snarky gem is about Neil from Trenton (first impression, very not heroic) who is transported into the original Legend of Zelda video game and assumes the identity of the game’s hero Link.  This leap into the fantasy realm doesn’t occur in magical poofs, but instead happens when Neil, drunk off cheap beer, is cranking the love pump while simultaneously asphyxiating himself with a Nintendo game controller.

You know this show is going to be something… special… when the first scene of the first episode is the main character waking up completely naked and alone in a quiet, sunlit forest.   All I have to say is, thank goodness for well placed wooden shields (or maybe not!). After the first scene, the opening credits are replaced with a ballad of Neil’s auto-erotic misfortune, subtitles included.  The theme music, sung and strummed by Sandeep himself, is so catchy you may find yourself singing the lyrics all day long.

*Spoilers from this point forward*

If you didn’t catch it from the premise, or the opening shot, or the ballad, it becomes clearer and clearer as the show goes on that this isn’t going to be your Mama’s webseries.  The language is humorously crude.  The visuals sometimes striking.  For those with a weak stomachs and delicate sensitivities, never fear, the episode, as is custom with webshows, is only a few minutes long.

After Neil awakes from his naked, drunken stupor, his clothes are tossed to him by a small, mysterious flying red creature.  Those familiar with the game will know this is the Red Fairy, who will feature prominently in future episodes.  Once clothed, Neil adjusts his man parts and promptly pukes on a tree.  Boys will be boys.  He finds an entrance to a cave and ventures inside where he is greeted by the Old Man.

The Old Man is another recognizable Legend of Zelda staple.  In the video game, his main purpose is to help Link in his quest to rescue Princess Zelda by providing timely advice and important items.  In the show, the Old Man does much of the same, albeit extremely sarcastically most of the time.  What’s brilliant about the Old Man (played expertly by Mike “Axis of Anarchy” Rose) is his use of language.  Half the time he speaks in his native Hyrulian, a sort of classic fantasy speech.  The other half of the time, especially when he is chastising Neil, he speaks like the kind of crotchety old man you’d find in a nursing home.  Too far in years to care what anyone thinks of what he says.

The meat and potatoes of this first episode happens in the cave.  Neil cannot successfully convince the Old Man that he isn’t Link, but instead a Jerseyite who had a bit too much to drink and just wants to get home.  The Old Man cannot successfully convince Neil that he is Link, on a noble quest to rid Hyrule of the evil Gannon.  Does Neil care about Hyrule?  It doesn’t seem so, until the Old Man mentions the Princess.  As in Zelda?  You betcha and she is hot, at least a 7 or 7 1/2.  Now that the Old Man has Neil’s attention, he takes the chance to bestow upon our-would-be-hero his first weapon. The sword.  In a fog machined haze, the Old Man summons the magical sword, which was apparently created by the hand of someone who is the son of someone who in turn is the son of someone else who’s kind of a douchebag. But Neil isn’t at all impressed with his new acquisition; it’s homemade and wooden.  This angers the old man who gives Neil an expletive infused piece of his mind and attempts to disappear in a magical poof.  Apparently, just saying the word “poof” doesn’t make one disappear in a magical sort of way and the Old Man exits stage left on foot.  This leaves our would-be-hero alone once more.  With sword and shield in hand, Neil leaves the cave and takes to the forest.  After relieving himself on a tree, he attempts to find a way out of the forest.  But his first and second attempts lead him back to exactly where he started.  Welcome to the Lost Wood.

On a whole, I absolutely loved the first episode of Legend of Neil. The dialogue is daring, unexpected and refreshing, not the kind of thing usually found in a fantasy world.  The music (not just the ballad) is exceptionally fitting for Hyrule.  Neil (played by Tony Janning) is great as the slouch and misidentified hero.  Thrust into a new world, he has the opportunity to rise from his ignoble roots, and fulfill a glorious destiny, with the added bonus of possibly bedding the Princess (never underestimate the power of the vagina to prompt a man to a greater good).  If you know the video game, you’ll enjoy all the old school references.  If you don’t know the video game, it’s okay, we forgive you.  If you like film theory and psychology, symbolism abounds in just this one episode – starting naked, ending up lost, emerging from a cave, receiving a sword.  And if you’re ready for comedy that pushes the envelope, snatching you out of your comfort zone, then Legend of Neil may be just for you.

Watch episode one of Legend of Neil here.

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