By Lisa Fary
Did everyone involved with writing and production have hands of lead? ‘Cuz there was a lot of heavy handed nonsense here. Get it? Heavy handed? Lead is heavy, and if someone’s hands were lead, they’d be heavy hands. Hence, heavy handed.
That’s the kind of heavy handedness at play in V.
There was never any doubt that Baccarin is pretty, but the short hair shows off how beautiful her face really is. What I wouldn’t give to have the cheekbones and chin to pull off that pixie haircut.
Staying positive now . . .
The Visitors’ ships were an improvement over the original, featureless disks of the 1980s. The interior was also cool. Light and airy, with a greenhouse like ceiling and lots of open spaces. Like a space loft.
Ummmm. . . thinking here. . .
Sorry, V. All I’ve got left for you are problems. Problems such as. . .
I know. Since when do I think giant spaceships are a bad thing? When they’re still expected to be jaw dropping, amazing, holy crap pieces in the program.
We’ve seen giant space ships hovering over the world’s cities so many times that they’re effectiveness is gone. Hitting me over the head with HEY! AWESOME SHIP, HUH? does nothing to change my hovering-ship fatigue.
But, that doesn’t mean we can’t have hovering ships. District 9 handled the hovering-ship fatigue really well: the Prawn ship had been hovering over JoBurg for 20 years. We were expected to think, “OK, there’s a ship there,” fold it into the story, and move on. It was there, without drawing attention to itself.
Only the Faithful See the Way
There was one bit with the church I liked – Father Jack flat out asked how he was supposed to explain the existence of God in a world with extraterrestrial life.
Otherwise, the church scenes were annoying and full of lead fisted imagery, like the crucifix falling, headed straight for the guy in a wheelchair. . .
The Christ icon fell and almost killed him! But, he was saved by the priest! Get it? A hollow idol of devotion will nearly kill humanity! But, we’ll be saved by faithful shepherds, pushed away when we can’t help ourselves.
Conspiracy Theory Nuts are Right and Deserve to Be Validated
Wild eyed conspiracy theorists hold the truth of the Visitors – they’ve actually been here for decades and revealing themselves is the last step in their plan to destroy humanity. No idea how they got this information; I expect the source of the knowledge to be revealed at some point. However, people are surprisingly willing to buy the Curly Haired Nut’s explanation with no real evidence. For instance. . .
CurlyNut hands Juliet a photo – it’s the same creepy dude from a crime scene passport she processed recently.
Hmmm. He’s creepy in this candid picture. And he’s creepy in that passport picture, too? Must be a Visitor. You know, I looked creepy in my old passport photo and have looked creepy in candid shots since then. Could I be a Visitor? YEAH.
It’s kind of like Orly Taintz and her birther cult. Believe without evidence.
“This is Independence Day!”
Really, kid? You shouldn’t be smiling when you say that, especially when you’re standing under a hovering mothership. That’s a good way to get dead in an alien invasion situation. Use the knowledge your pasty geek life has given you: when a mothership swoops in, it’s a good time to visit that Real America we’ve heard tell about.
You know. Real America, where the teabags roam free.
Universal Healthcare is Universal Evil
Teabags are going to looooove V. Universal health care is a tool of evil. Being happy and processing emotions is actually evil. A message of hope and change? Yup. Evil.
Counting down to a Photoshopped image of Visitor President Obama in 3. . . . . 2. . . . . 1. . . .
Lisa Fary is a graduate of the creative writing program at Florida State University and holds an advanced degree in Special Education. Her earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She’s angry that it’s almost 2010 and she still doesn’t have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram.
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