By Lisa Fary
For each SGU episode featuring gratuitous boob shots or other lady bits, I will run a gratuitous image of Lou Diamond Phillips (or some other random dude, depending on my mood).
“Darkness” picks up the day after “Air, Part 3”. Eli is still has a goggle sunburn line on his face, as well as his geeky exuberance about being on a spaceship. He’s the only one – naturally, everyone else is concerned about getting back to Earth, water rations, and taking a shower. Dr. Rush is concerned with Destiny’s rapid loss of power. And, lastly, Cameraman B is concerned with Sgt. James’s boobs.
Everyone on Destiny is stinky due to the water rationing. But, Eli has figured out that the showers don’t use water – they spray a non-water mist, he says.
Chloe, that’s your cue.
Chloe asks Eli to show her how to use the showers. While she’s busy being backlit behind the shower door, Sgt. James enters and presents Eli with a dilemma: stay and guard Chloe, who is naked in the shower, or follow Sgt. James, who has giant, unbra’d boobs.
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Get used to ‘em. Now that Sgt. James’ Power Girls are out, they’re going to stay out for the rest of the ep, featured prominently in any shot in which they wander. They were the centerpiece for the impromptu meeting of soon-to-be mutineers (why else even spend time on it) she dragged Eli to. Even when Sgt. James isn’t central to a scene, her Power Girls are.
But, wait. There’s more!
As Dr. Rush predicted, the ship goes totally dark. Just as Chloe is finishing her shower. Luckily, Eli has an iPhone with which to light her nudity.
Alert Pink Raygun reader Amy says,
“Fair enough if they’re going to do that – as long as we get some equal opportunity objectification with the male characters.”
Stay tuned to this post for an Equal Opportunity Objectification Moment!
So, the power is out, the ship has fallen out of FTL, and they’re drifting. They did come out of FTL on the edge of a star system, and devise a plan to slingshot around the nearby gas giant, propelling Destiny toward the three smaller, habitable planets. It’s a success, mostly. They’re trajectory was altered more than anticipated.
Destiny, still powerless, is now headed directly for a star. That’s a damn it.
And now, here is your Equal Opportunity Objectification Moment.
Lou Diamond Phillips kept his clothes on in “Darkness”, but he got half-naked for an episode of Psych a while back. Enjoy.
My prediction: Destiny has solar panels, or some other method of drawing power from the dooming star. They’ll regain power and jump to FTL just before Destiny becomes the universe’s largest hibachi.
I’ve been looking forward to Stargate: Universe all week. Even with the gratuitous boob/ lady bits shots, I was riveted.
I like that the story has been crisis after crisis, with the stakes raising each time. Fix the air, run out of power. Find a way to get moving, get stuck on a collision course with a star. Also appreciated is the attention to the details of being stranded. People are withdrawing from caffeine and nicotine. People stink. People are starting to look disheveled.
What makes the biggest difference, though, is that there is still wonder. As I’ve said many times, the darkness, the hopelessness of science fiction shows and movies in the past several years just isn’t enjoyable. Space is supposed to be about exploration and discovery, new hopes and worlds. Science fiction ought to capture that feeling of laying in the grass as a kid, staring up at the stars with the knowledge that each one is a sun, and around each sun, there could be planets.
I feel like the genre is finally coming back to that. SGU is a nice big step in that direction.
Congratulations, SyFy. You’ve made a show that I like. You have my blessing (for now – Lisa’s blessings may be revoked at any time).
Lisa Fary is a graduate of the creative writing program at Florida State University and holds an advanced degree in Special Education. Her earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She’s angry that it’s almost 2010 and she still doesn’t have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram.
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Lisa Fary's earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She's angry that it's 2011 and she still doesn't have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram. 
I am fangirling you hardcore! For years I've been advocating Equal Opportunity Objectification. For every fanboy who got all up in my grill about my "ggnngghh"ing over Captain Mal, John Crichton, or even my original source of thigh holster hawtness, Han Solo, I have invoked the EOO clause in my Fangirl Contract.
For the record, I was riveted as well, despite my complaints of inequality. And I look forward to more EOO Moments in future reviews.
Same here. I advocated for hot Cylon guys for most of BSG's run, and was ready to protest when we never got Anders naked in a tub of goo. I may go for personality and sense of humor in real life, but on the teevee box, I want beefcake.
haha this was great! i frickin' loved that episode of psych (it's one of my favorite shows), and when lou diamond phillips came out wearing nothing but pants and gun holster…well, kudos to psych for giving us some eye-candy in the form of comedy, and kudos to you, lisa, for drawing attention to the importance of eeoc!! i, also, advocated for hot naked cylon guys…(i mean, tricia helfer and grace park v. dean stockwell wasn't exactly fair to begin with), so when we finally got a hottie in anders, i also definitely wanted more nekkedness.
I'm performing a public service, really. I wonder if I could start a non-profit think tank and get some stimulus funds?
Hehe – "stimulus" (you should totally have worked the "package", too, for maximum effect!). This is important work you are doing with EOOM and it deserves to be applauded (and funded).
I am excited about SGU, too, because it is bringing the wonder back and it is a newish, yet fully-rounded, conceit. Yes, there will always be comparisons to other series but there is some solid acting a writing in there and I think it will only get better.
Package. Heh.
Now that they're past the pilot stage, this episode was nicely meaty. There's conflict of many kinds, dire circumstances, good old sci-fi technobabble, the trademark Stargate humor, and a couple of cameos for established franchise fans. (Peter. ::teehee::) I can't wait to see what happens next week, but I had the same thought about solar panels. Or maybe something like a ramscoop that could've been activated as they penetrated the gas giant's atmosphere. And is it just me or is the overall design of the Destiny reminiscent of the Asgard motherships from SG-1? Makes me wonder which race in the alliance originated that shape.
I applaud your EEO advocacy, Lisa. Although, if we're going to complain about Vanessa James's over-filmed assets (lovely as they are), we should probably give her the proper rank of 2nd Lieutenant. [/nitpick] And I, for one, would not object to a bit more shirtless Lieutenant Scott, Sergeant Greer, and/or Private Becker. Those young military boys are tasty bits of beefcake.
The ship seems to be doing whatever it wants, so it wouldn't be surprising to learn that it intentionally stopped on the edge of a useful star system and turned itself toward the star. I don't know if it's possible in the Stargate 'verse, but Desinty's behavior reminds me of biological ships like Moya on Farscape or the Vorlons' bio-hybrid ships on Babylon 5. Like I said, I don't know if that's possible in this 'verse, but it seems like there's more than programming going on with Destiny.
I call it "Equal Opportunity Nekked Nudity," but you say pot-ah-toe and I say po-AY-toe, and really, it comes down to the same thing: for every minute of a woman being exploited for her body, there should be an equally exploiting minute for the guys. So here, here! Hurray for LDP and his marvelous chest!
I'm so with you on this. How can we facilitate more of the same? What qualifies as a picture to be used? Does it have to be an actor on that particular show, but he used to be on a different one, and perhaps was partly nekked? Like with Mr. Phillips here? Or can it be any character from ANY show because, as you know, there is a dearth of this sort of thing.
Best Regards,
Me
Like most fledgling movements, we'll have to facilitate it ourselves. The pic may be an actor on that particular show; however, there are likely to be fewer beefcake pics than cheesecake pics, so that has the potential to get repetitive.
So, any actor from any show will suffice. Feel free to submit suggestions!