Vampire Diaries: You’re Undead to Me

By Lisa Fary

After two weeks free of VD, I came back to find Elena to be a more hopeful kind of heroine. She’s no Buffy, but she sure as hell is no Bella. And that’s a good thing.

Damon has been a very hungry vampire, leaving five dead, drained bodies littered around town. However, the sheriff isn’t wringing her hands about what’s causing it. She knows it’s a vampire – they’ve been in town before. Together with a local TV news reporter, they set out to find them.

Meanwhile, there is some talk of jewelry. Specifically, the rings that allow bad vamp Damon and good vamp Stefan to walk in the daylight and an amber necklace given to Blondie by her new vampire master (Damon).  I’m not sure of the purpose of the necklace (perhaps that was covered in my VD-free period), but at the end of this ep, it displayed a mystical looking shadow when moonlight passed through it. More on that later, I suppose.

Also during my VD-free period, Stefan trapped Damon, spiking Blondie with an herb that sickens vampires. While he’s down, Stefan took the ring and locked Damon in the convenient dungeon beneath the family estate, planning to leave him there to become mummified of thirst.

With Damon neutralized, Stefan is free to continue his pursuit of Elena. But, his mysterious behaviors, which would have been endearing to another girl with sad ideas of romance, have only pissed her off. He avoids questions, suddenly appears right behind her, runs off with no explanation, doesn’t call, shows up an hour late. She doesn’t appreciate it, and rightfully so.

Her idiot brother is a romantic, though, and set up an opportunity for Stefan to patch things up with Elena. He’s making chicken parmesan while rattling off stuff he likes and details about Katherine (BTW, if your teenage boyfriend says something like, “I was no longer crippled by her passing,” he’s probably not a teenager. He’s a vampire or an old creep from the internet).

Girl in the kitchen with knife and a vampire? That’s like Claire Bennett hanging out anywhere above the third floor. You know Dropsy, the Amazing Broken Girl is hitting the pavement and shoving her bones back in before the next commercial. With VD, you know Elena is going to cut herself chopping vegetables and Stefan is going to vamp out.

What I didn’t anticipate was Elena seeing it happen and not being appeased by his lame explanation.

She’s suspicious. Not that he’s a bad guy, but that there’s something just wrong with Stefan. Her suspicions grow deeper when, at the cheerleading carwash, an older African-American man approaches her with some info:

He’s seen Stefan before. In June. In 1953.

Enter the newsman! The very newsman who is conveniently wooing Elena’s aunt/ guardian. He get’s Elena into a research room at the station where she reviews old, uncut reels shot outside the Salvatore house in June 1953. Bodies are being brought out on gurneys, victims of vicious animal attacks. In the background, in a doorway, is Stefan.

She puts it all together and shows up at his house demanding to know what he is. Elena already knows, her mind has reached that conclusion, but it’s so beyond the pale that she’ll need to hear him say it, see him do something all vampy.

But, that will wait until next week.

Elsewhere around VD this week: Vicki’s drug problem is worse than ever, Damon breaks out of the dungeon and attacks her again, and Bonnie’s witchy powers grow stronger.

This was far better than those first couple of episodes. Elena is proving herself to be a reasonable girl, rather than one who will let a guy walk all over her for the promise of true love. People around town remember Stefan and Damon from the 1950s, which is believable in a small town. And we have a couple of amateur vampire hunters in the sheriff and the newsman.

I hate to say it, but I was drawn in. Damn it. Stupid teen vampire drama.

Lisa Fary is a graduate of the creative writing program at Florida State University and holds an advanced degree in Special Education. Her earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She’s angry that it’s almost 2010 and she still doesn’t have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram.

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