Fall Movie Preview: November
By Lisa Fary
Two mysteries of the universe: 1)Twilight 2) How John Cusack wound up in Emmerich’s 2012. Perhaps we’ll find the answers this November.
November Must Sees
The Men Who Stare at Goats: I vaguely remember reading about this secret Army project involving psychic soldiers some time ago on a conspiracy website. That could be really dark, but rather than going in that direction, The Men Who Stare at Goats looks like it takes a lighter, weirder approach. (11/6/09)
The Fourth Kind: Alien abduction movies are always based on a true story. This one looks particularly creepy, though, seeing the movie footage and the actual footage side by side like that. We may have to ask the Amateur Scientist to look into these particular abductions. (11/6/09)
Fantastic Mr. Fox: It’s Wes Anderson doing a stop-motion animation adaptation of a Roald Dahl story. George Clooney still manages to exude his usual cool demeanor even through an animated fox and the movie still oozes Wes Anderson weirdness. (11/13/09)
November Maybes
2012: Come on, people. Nothing is going to happen on 12/21/12. Unless it does. In which case, feel free to send me an “I told you so” email (which I’ll never get because the end of the Mayan calender would have broken the internet irrevocably). But, what’s the point of living on the cusp of the biggest end-of-the-world theory known on Earth if you can’t capitalize on it? And who better to dramatize the end of the world than Roland Emmerich? Say what you want about him, but he’s good at world destruction.
Added end of the world bonus: John Cusack. Cusack is like Old Bay seasoning – he makes everything better.
BTW, a note to the 2012 marketing people: your online campaign isn’t really viral if the crazed, doomsayer guy is recognizable as Woody effing Harrelson.
Nine: Hey, it’s a musical. I’ll see it one way or the other. Besides, I like Rob Marshall’s flashy style as a director.
November Dreads
New Moon: You may be looking forward to New Moon with the love of 5000 girls at a New Kids concert (or Jonas Bros or some other dreamy boy outing). I just can’t get behind it. I have tried tried TRIED to read the books and can’t get into it, can’t like it. Maybe the key for me getting through the Twilight series successfully is to think of it as an anthropological project, an artifact in attempting to understand why so many in the next generation of girls have been drawn to a perpetual damsel in distress rather than a girl who could fight alongside her man, or even fight her own battles.
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Lisa Fary is a graduate of the creative writing program at Florida State University and holds an advanced degree in Special Education. Her earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She’s angry that it’s almost 2010 and she still doesn’t have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram.
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The true stories that inspired "The Fourth Kind" appear to only have been heard by the producers of "The Fourth Kind". The therapist played by Milla Jovovich is only mentioned in a fake online medical journal that appeared a month ago. And this handy article supposes that most disappearances in the Alaskan town where the movie is set have been explainable by alcohol and bone-crunching cold: http://www.newsminer.com/weblogs/dermot-cole/2009...
So there you go.
In other news, I wish Milla Jovovich would get better work. Remember how good she was in "The Fifth Element"?
Oh, I love The Fifth Element! One of the few movies in which I liked not only Milla but Bruce Willis as well.
Am I becoming too picky about my entertainment, or is the Hollywood output just going through a crappy phase?
Total. Crappy. Phase. It’s about to break out of “phase” and become an “era” or an “epoch”.
of course they blame it on cold and booze. that can't account for all of the cases though.
same way a fake medical journal doesn't mean that all the things in the movie didn't happen. the character could be a composite.
It could account for most of them, though. And the ones that can't be blamed on cold and booze? Duh. Eskimos. Zombie Eskimos.
future headline?
ZOMBIE ESKIMOS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS IN ALASKA
in any event, looking forward to the movie. have enjoyed milla in stuff since 5th element.
first resident evil was pretty good (for the genre) and perfect getaway was a good time too.lilnbot
I'm totally with you on Twilight. I watched the movie once when it came out on DVD to humor a friend (so very painful), but haven't been the slightest bit interested in the books. It makes me very sad that Bella is becoming a role model for a generation of girls. I had Leia and Ripley and Sarah Connor and the women of dozens of sci-fi shows. Today's girls are getting a fricking damsel that would've made the Bronte sisters sad and ditzy bitches. Why, tv gods, why?
Then again, none of the other November movies are all that appealing to me either. I haven't liked a Roland Emmerich movie since ID4, and there is no way I'll be paying money to see 2012, which really should just be called The Day After The Day After Tomorrow, since that seems to be what they're going for on the disaster movie scale. (Also, I'm pretty sure the USS JFK is falling onto the White House from the northwest side, i.e. inland rather than Chesapeake Bay. I can only suspend my disbelief so far.)
If I don't get to a free showing, I won't be seeing 2012 until it gets to On Demand. But, I love my John Cusack. . .