Warehouse 13: Premiere

By Lisa Fary

My hopes for Warehouse 13 were pretty low; so low, I was fully expecting turn it off in the first half-hour with a groan in favor of last week’s episode of The Fashion Show. Surely, Kelly Rowland’s blank gaze would be less idiotic than this SyFy Original Series.

It just looked so bad. Like The Librarian meets X-Files and Torchwood, seemingly inspired by the final shot in Raiders of the Lost Ark.  But, Jane Espenson and co. had more imagination than to call it Area 51 (I’m looking at you, George Lucas and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull). But, despite the lousy reviews it was getting, I was determined to give a shot.

Not only did Warehouse 13 not reach Kelly Rowland heights of idiocy, it was really enjoyable. I’ve been whining about the lack of fun sci-fi for what seems like years. Last summer I got fun sci-fi with The Middleman; this summer, I’m getting it from Warehouse 13.

Warehouse 13 is not hard-hitting, ground-breaking science fiction by any means. It’s only barely science fiction – more like paranormal fiction with a foot only lazily in the science door. The tone was somewhere between The Middleman (and I loves me some Middleman) and Espenson’s ill-fated sit-com, Andy Barker, PI: lighthearted, offbeat and surprisingly funny. And funny like it meant to be funny – not an unintentional funny (I’m looking at you, Flash Gordon).

The concept is this: some objects are imbibed with power/ energy, like Agatha Christie’s typewriter or John Dillinger’s pistol, or in the case of the pilot, Lucrezia Borgia’s bedazzled hairpin. The purpose of Warehouse 13, a project so secret that even the highest ranking Secret Service guy has to dig for days for even the slightest reference to it, is to find the objects, catalog them, and store them. It’s all done in a huge warehouse in South Dakota where there’s no cell phone service.

Artie (Saul Rubinek) is the keeper of the warehouse. He’s half crazy, given to muttering things he knows to be true, but most wouldn’t believe. Saul Rubinek is perfect in everything he does and is also very good in this role.

The two new Secret Service agents assigned to the warehouse are Pete Lattimer (Eddie McClinktock) and Mika Bering (Joanne Kelly). We see from the beginning that they don’t get along and have wildly different approaches.

I find Mika to be a bit cliched at this point: she’s the stereotypical, super-driven career gal who, in a holiday rom-com, would learn an important lesson about family and small town charm. I’d like to see her loosen up and be more of a Gwen Cooper than a Dana Scully (or, god forbid, a Kara Thrace).  She’s the analytical one, the one who notices how a professor organizes his pens, pencils, and books. Mika is very into procedure and is moving up quickly in the service.

Pete Lattimer is hot. I mean hot. He first shows up wearing nothing but manties (man panties) and some chest hair. I fully support that costuming choice and encourage the wardrobe people to dress McClinktock like that as often as possible.

Contrasted with Mika, Pete is all instinct and vibes, easily drawn in by cookies, and is open to his new post at the warehouse. He’s also considered a trouble-maker in the service and gets suspended in the first ten minutes.

Although I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked Warehouse 13, I think it’s going to do a lot better as a one hour show; the two-hour pilot lost its steam at about the 1.75 hour mark and was weighed down by pilot-expositionitis.

Warehouse 13 isn’t going to change television, but it sure is fun. Really, after all the emotional torture on BSG, Lost, and Heroes, it’s a relief to have something light with a sense of wonder. And Eddie McClintock half-naked.

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Lisa Fary’s early exposure to classic Battlestar Galactica in 1979 is largely responsible for her lifelong interest in science fiction and her childhood ambition of being an intergalactic space cowgirl. She thinks diagramming sentences is a fun alternative to Sudoku.

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