How Jeffster Can Save Heroes
By Lisa Fary
Sorry, Heroes, but Chuck stole your thunder. I guess that wasn’t too hard considering that Chuck rocks* and you kinda suck.
True, there were some moments of badassery in the season finale. Claire, determined, stepping up to the Secret Service guy’s gun. Peter and Nathan showing up (that was probably the biggest surprise: the action starting when the Petrelli boys arrive), revealing the true nature of the Flying Senator to the President’s chief of staff. Hiro and Ando taking out the entire Building 26 staff. Peter and Sylar in the limo (which I totally didn’t see coming).
That was all only a few minutes within the space of an hour. The rest of the time, I watched, but thought of Jeffster. Thought about making a Jeffster t-shirt. Starting a Jeffster tribute band. How Jeffster could save Heroes, or at least bring some well-needed lighthearted goofiness to their dreary lives.
For instance. . .
- Nathan Petrelli eats it at the hands of Sylar. Jeffster plays “Sister Christian” as he bleeds out.
- Mama Petrelli and Noah Bennet coerce Matt Parkman into transforming a sedated Sylar to a reborn, non-zombie Nathan. Jeffster plays “Never Gonna Give You Up” as Parkman makes his “thinking really hard” face.
I’m still working out how to get Jeffster to sing “What A Feeling”, “Ghostbusters”, and “”It’s Raining Men”. Obviously, they’d sing “The Safety Dance” anytime Claire was on screen.
Other than adding Jeffster to the regular cast of Heroes, how can the show be improved in its next season? Oh, I have some suggestions (yes, they’re more specific than “Don’t suck so much”).
1. For god’s sake, lighten up. Yes, it’s hard to have a superpower, but there’s no need to be so freakin’ emo about it all the time.
2. Stop involving Claire in creepy $h!t. Lying on the coffee table with her brain out? Creepy. Impaling her head on a branch to escape date rape? Creepy. Sylar suggesting First Lady status in the hotel room? Creepy. Claire’s inner badass wants to come out and play. Let her.
BTW, it doesn’t matter how old Hayden Panettiere is. The character is still a minor. STOP putting her in these fantasy fanboy situations.
3. Diversify your cast. Do it for more than a few episodes. Try not to kill off all your black characters or exile them to Inconvenient Loose End Island (that’s just down from Awkward Tween Island). Try not to place them in offensive roles (i.e., the magical negro, the scary violent black guy, the black president who’s really a white dude, the spicy Latina who’ll clean your lab then nail you on the table). These things are offensive. Please stop.
Here, I have some suggestions for diversifying the Heroes cast with talented actors who will bring cred and respectability to Heroes:
- Idris Elba: Formerly Stringer Bell on The Wire and just off a guest spot on The Office. Make him a good guy.
- Aisha Hinds: She was Miss Jeanette in True Blood and just started to believe Agent Paul Ballard in Dollhouse. I’ve mostly seen her in smaller roles and would love to see her on Heroes. She’s so intense, and believably so.
- Robert Wisdom: He’s fresh out of a recurring guest role on Supernatural, and ready to bring some good, ol’ fashioned badass (and integrity) to Heroes.
- Natalie Morales: She’s already had some heroic experience with The Middleman. Don’t give her an accent or make her an undocumented worker or a maid. Don’t make her dance to salsa music or call anyone “Papi”. She’s awesome, she’s badass. Give her a role.
4. Bring back Monica Dawson. Remember Micah’s cousin with the copycat ability? She totally needs to be part of a superhero team with Rebel and the Crimson Arc. They could be like the Birds of Prey and Hiro could be their Oracle.
5. Don’t bring Sylar back for a really really really really really long time. Not that I don’t like Zachary Quinto, but Heroes has to be about more than defeating Sylar and his wicked plots.
6. Have some (insert reproductive organ of your choice here: suggestions include balls, ovaries, gonads, stamen, whatever). If you’re going to kill off a main character, kill off a main character. For real. Like, fire the actor and kill off the character irreparably.
People will still watch Heroes if Adrian Pasdar or Ali Larter aren’t on it anymore. That’s the beauty of this concept: there are heroes all over the place with different abilities, different situations and circumstances. They don’t have to all be related or be triplets. Own your concept. Be responsible to your viewers, not your actors.
I’m hoping that Bryan Fuller sticks around for season four and is able to bring Heroes back to its season one levels of awesome. Honestly, Bryan Fuller is the only reason I’m sticking around at all**.
*Correction: Chuck is awesome. Jeffster rocks.
**Not that my threats of leaving mean anything. I said the same thing about Lost. However, that’s paid off this season.
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Lisa Fary’s early exposure to classic Battlestar Galactica in 1979 is largely responsible for her lifelong interest in science fiction and her childhood ambition of being an intergalactic space cowgirl. She thinks diagramming sentences is a fun alternative to Sudoku.
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They kill Nathan in every season finale. Don't know why magic healing blood couldn't save him like it did the last couple times.
But you're right. What show couldn't be improved by Jeffster?
OMG, you're right. I didn't even realize that Nathan had been killed off every season. I expected the magic blood cure the moment Nathan bled out. Maybe Bryan Fuller said that was ridiculous.
Huh. I hadn't noticed that either. At least they didn't play 'Hallelujah' every time like they did for The O.C.'s inevitable season finale deaths. Speaking of shows I couldn't stop watching no matter how much I wished I could…
I'm really hoping that the production staff of Heroes takes your advice, Lisa. The plots really have gotten stagnant and implausible. (I mean, they totally stole Tracy's entrance from Tori Spelling's character on Smallville. If you're going to cheat off other genre shows, at least cheat off the good ones.)
I'm not sure why so many shows are having such a hard time casting non-white actors. There are certainly plenty of them out there, and your list is a good place to start. I mean, they've had some great Asian talent in Masi, James, Sendhil, George Takei, and Erick Avari. (Although, now that I think about it, have we seen any Asian villains? I'm not sure if Mohinder's trip to the dark side truly counts.) I don't know why they're so confounded by casting a black or latino actor as a good guy and keeping them around for a while. So I really hope they continue to explore Micah in all his coolness. Now that Hiro is starting his slide into frustration, maybe our resident computer genius can step into the relentlessly idealistic role.
"*Correction: Chuck is awesome. Jeffster rocks."
No, no. Devon is Awesome (as are his parents and, now, Ellie). Chuck is The Man. Or possibly Neo.
Oh, I'd love it if I had that kind of influence. This show plays at being multicultural, but is really a white dude's fantasy of what being multicultural is. If that makes any sense.
sigh. i miss jeffster already. and yes, very well put (with heroes being a "white dude's fantasy of what being multicultural is"). was anyone else bothered by the fact that everyone just automatically knew the haitian was haitian? and that, you know, he's only referred to as the haitian? haha.
Don't you think the phrase "a white dude's fantasy of what being multicultural is" is kind of offensive in itself?
I think your post has three major misapprehensions.
1. Heroes should be thought of as less of a TV show and more of a live action comic series.
2. Multicultural is an inherent goal/ the be all end all/ etc. What would be the point of creating characters just so they could diversify the cast. That would be stupid. Who are you to decided which multicultural roles are offensive or that they don't "represent". I think it's offensive to assume that they are making an attempt at representing an ethnic group and not just creating characters who happen to be [color].
3. What business is it of yours to tell the writers how to do their job?
/rant.
Don't you think the phrase "a white dude's fantasy of what being multicultural is" is kind of offensive in itself?
Possibly to white people who think black folk are lazy, but who insist they really aren't racist because they have a black friend.
Heroes should be thought of as less of a TV show and more of a live action comic series.
If all of the events of this show occurred in comic form, I'd have the same thoughts and opinions on it. Mode of delivery doesn't change the quality of the content. Crap on TV will be crap in comics and vice versa.
What would be the point of creating characters just so they could diversify the cast.
TV is white. Really white. The world is not white.
I think it's offensive to assume that they are making an attempt at representing an ethnic group and not just creating characters who happen to be [color].
I, in turn, am offended by Heroes utilizing offensive archetypes (i.e., the magical negro) and consistently killing off and disappearing characters of color. For more, read this and prepare to be even more offended.
What business is it of yours to tell the writers how to do their job?
Have you ever read a blog before?
It's my business because I care and have the ability to think critically about what I'm watching rather than simply lapping up whatever is put in front of me and thinking it's awesome because the network commercials tells me to. It's my business because I have the ability to see patterns in what I'm watching, recognize archetypes, and draw conclusions based on the presented evidence. It's my business because I have a brain.
"Don't you think the phrase "a white dude's fantasy of what being multicultural is" is kind of offensive in itself?
Possibly to white people who think black folk are lazy, but who insist they really aren't racist because they have a black friend."
1.Well, it offends me and I am half black and half white.
2. Different forms lend themselves to different modes of storytelling. That's the point I'm trying to make. Things happen differently in a comic than they do on a TV series.
3. I'm not going to read the article, because contrary to most people, I don't enjoy being offended. I realize that some archetypes are offensive, but most archetypes exist for a reason, and think about the show. How is any black person with powers going to get on that show and not be the "magical negro"? You have simultaneously harpooned the "black guy as white guy" (which is extremely offensive as well, because it implies if we don't act like the other stereotypes, we must be acting white) and the "thug" and the "magical negro" what space is leftover? How do you believe a black person should behave to avoid being pigeonholed into a stereotype?
4. As far as reading a blog goes, yes actually, I read several. It just gets annoying when they are all griping all the time. In reality I did hesitate to post, seeing as it is the first time I've read this blog. Maybe this is what you do. I certainly hope not, I can't imagine how you would keep your readers.