Caprica Did Not Suck

By Lisa Fary

Sometimes I really hate myself for the things I like.

For instance, Lolcats.

Lolcats are a pick me up. If I’ve had a poopy day or are feeling sort of hopeless, I go to icanhascheezburger.com and a look at a couple pages of captioned cats, have a giggle, and get on with the day.

This has been done in secret. One night a few weeks ago, I was in the living room looking at Lolcats, not realizing that John had come in and seen what I was doing.

“Lolcats?” he exclaimed. “You’re looking at Lolcats?”

I scrunched up my face. “And I hate myself for it!” I said in all sincerity.

Such as it was with Caprica.

God damn mother frakking son of a bitch.

I didn’t want to like you, Caprica. I wanted to hate you the way I hate Paris Hilton. BSG was the Hilton family, and Caprica was going to be the Paris, except possibly without a naked sex tape.

But, there is a naked sex tape. It’s holo-sex, but whatever. There’s tits.

Surprisingly, I do find colonial society 58 years before the Cylon attack to be interesting – it’s much more high tech than the small bit of colonial society we saw in the miniseries, with computer paper (I want that) helper-bots and holo-band (sort of like a fully interactive Second Life). Seeing this first hand makes Apollo’s bonehead decision (let’s throw all our stuff into the sun!) have some sort of sense (but is still no less boneheaded. And douchey).

I like that it’s not a utopia, that there are problems with religious terrorists and racism. Back in the day, BSG was good at addressing such issues, presenting them in a different context than we typically see, and then stepping back and not passing judgment on them. That’s always been a strength of science fiction and I’m hoping that Caprica is going to go there.

A collection of Caprica thoughts:

• The V-Club is the Opera House. We’ve seen those halls so many times before, but always bathed in angelic light and nearly empty. Look closely. Note the columns, the ceilings, the balconies. It’s the Opera House.
• Joseph Adams is hot.
• Yes, I had a geekgasm when the Cylon prototype said, “By your command” in the voice.
• I’m glad to see Kyle XY’s Magda Apanowicz in Caprica. Now, let’s find a role for The Middleman’s Natalie Morales. Maybe Joseph Adama’s plucky niece or something.
• Ever notice that it’s the science guys who get laid in this ‘verse?
• Recall Anders’ bedside recollection of Daniel, the other skinjob model designed by the Final Five? I’m gonna call it right now: Daniel Greystone is a sleeper skinjob. Or there’s a boxed line of Daniels somewhere. Or something. The explanations in the last season of BSG got so frakking convoluted that I can’t remember when the Final Five made the twelve (or thirteen models of skinjobs).
• I’m starting to see Caprica as sort of a fresh start, a slate wiped clean of all the BSG BS.

So, good job, Caprica. Now try not to expose your lady bits in public and you’ll be off to a good start.

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Lisa Fary’s early exposure to classic Battlestar Galactica in 1979 is largely responsible for her lifelong interest in science fiction and her childhood ambition of being an intergalactic space cowgirl. She thinks diagramming sentences is a fun alternative to Sudoku.

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