By Lisa Fary
I really wanted to go to bed early, but insisted on staying up for Battlestar Galactica for one simple reason: it had the potential to be worse than my past two days.
After two days at a conference filled with vapid suburban mommies*, where any conversation lasting more than five minutes will inevitably turn to childbirth and where most people have no idea Dr. Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog even happened, “Daybreak Part 1” was going to get me back into my geek zone while simultaneously making that soul crushing black hole of a conference seem more like a soul kicking gray hole.
Imagine my surprise when BSG turned out to mostly suck, instead of totally suck. And it even had a black hole of its own.
“Daybreak Part 1” had me asking some questions. Questions like:
Does the fleet have an Office Depot? A Mary Poppins bag of an Office Depot? After four years on the run, they still have big rolls of duct tape and un-tattered packing boxes. The new packing boxes we bought from U-Haul last summer weren’t so stiffly erect as what Adama was packing in his quarters**.
Where, exactly, within the Twelve Colonies is Japan? We’re not dealing with Earth cultures, so surely, some things would have developed differently. Such as sushi. That’s a dish that developed from a very specific set of agricultural circumstances. In other Earth countries, raw fish developed into different kinds of ceviche. Laura Roslin was eating sushi rolls on Caprica, which she shouldn’t have been able to do because there is no Japan in the Twelve Colonies.
All I’m saying is that, if you want me to buy this as an Earth-like society, rather than Earth itself, put some effort into making some items different enough that they can be believable as not-Earth. It could have been as simple as making the nori blue.
How many hot babes are there in the fleet? Looking out at the hangar deck, both when Adama put the Mary Poppins duct tape down and when he made his speech, I noticed that there were a lot of attractive women in the crowd, and not just Baltar’s Cult of Hot Babes Who Like to Do It. It’s television, so the show needs to have attractive people; I get that. However, the contrast between the men and women on BSG, even in the background, is particularly stark.
The men of the Twelve Colonies made out far better than the ladies. It’s like Dr. Strangelove’s mine shaft plan taken to space.
| Guys get Six |
Ladies get Cavil |
 |
 |
It’s not fair.
And now, there is one episode left. One ep to wrap it all up. One ep to make it all worth it. BSG, you’re on your deathbed. What do you want to say?
*Of course not all suburban mommies are vapid. If you’re reading Pink Raygun, you’re probably not one of the vapid ones. Please send your hate mail to lisa@pinkraygun.com.
**I didn’t intend for that to be as dirty as it came out. But, I thought it was funny, so I left it.
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Lisa Fary’s early exposure to classic Battlestar Galactica in 1979 is largely responsible for her lifelong interest in science fiction and her childhood ambition of being an intergalactic space cowgirl. She thinks diagramming sentences is a fun alternative to Sudoku.
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Lisa Fary's earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She's angry that it's 2011 and she still doesn't have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram. 
Hey! As a fangirl/scifi site editor myself, I *love* this site!! And I really enjoy your honesty about BSG. It shocks me how many bad bsg eps people rate a "ten" just because its bsg. Can't agree more with the review… well, except that even I (and I am only watching this show because some of my favourite writers, Joss Whedon, Peter David etc love this show) had hope for a bit better of this ep. Seriously, its part one of a three part finale… the begining of the end… yeah… not so much… They could literally have squashed this week's and last week's into one episode. What's the with Lost-like flashbacks all of a sudden?? Oh and regarding your sushi comment… how about them having traffic lights that look just like ours??
On a different note, I just wrote a piece on all the frakking military infractions on this show. Thank the universe its not a real military or we'd really be in trouble:
http://www.igp-scifi.com/battlestar-galactica-inf…
Thanks! I hear a lot that I'm unreasonable and impossible to please when it comes to television, which isn't true. I just have high standards (in a time when having any standards at all is having high standards). I've determined that those who rate it a ten just because it's BSG are the same type who would stay in a crappy relationship because the sex is good. Or because there's sex, period.
With so little left to go in the series, it was a shame that they spent an hour accomplishing nothing. Though it was nice to see the scene between Hotdog and Adama. Have they ever had a scene together before? And, did Baltar REALLY say 'fuck' at his dad's house? I noticed the sushi too, it stood out because there really haven't been any Asian people in the series aside from Boomer, and she turned out not to be human anyways. In fact, there really haven't been that many minorities in the show at all. It's mostly just white people in space.
It was nice to see Number 4 and Number 5 again though. I missed them.
At this point, and I hate to say this, I kind of just hope that everyone dies next week. Let the fleet jump into the base ship and they can all kill each other. Fade to black, the end.
I imagine it will play into the "all of this has happened before" nonsense that's been thrown around like monkey poop since the beginning. I read on a comment thread somewhere that the naked singularity could function as a time travel device, sending the survivors way back in time to populate the young colonies themselves. At this point, I don't really care if they all live or die – I just want a satisfying ending.
May they rest in peace, end it!
Agreed. This far in did we need to know about Rosilin’s family? Baltar’s family? I kept expecting the flashbacks to reveal something about THE PLOT, but it just gave us character motivations and backgrounds that either should have been, or actually already covered long ago.
One thing though – guys do get Six, but women don’t JUST get Cavil. They get Anders (Or, did…)! I get it though, there are unattractive men in the fleet and for the most part not many unattractive ladies. But there are some older ladies, which is more than a lot of shows do. I think I mostly stuck around this long for the Laura/Bill romance lmao
Roslin may be older, but there's no denying that she's still got it in the looks department.
I'm going to venture to say that Apollo is the drunk driver who killed Roslin's family – there was no other reason to show him falling down drunk like that.
Out of the Final Five, three of them are dudes, and only one of them is what you'd call "Handsome." It makes sense, then, that when they're designing their sexbot children they'd probably design smokin' hot ones, yeah? And then they'd design the dude-sexbots to be not terribly attractive, or average looking, just so as to give themselves less competition. I mean, when all is said and done and the empowerment talk is set aside, most of the Cylon intrigue on this show is all about sexual fantasy, right?
The Sushi didn't bother me as much as the fact that all the houses and things we see on Caprica have right angles on them, which contradicts 5 years of continuity in the show which repeatedly show the Colonials avoid right angles whenever possible. I can forgive them not being able to think of up cleverly exotic food for the same reason I can forgive them speaking english on the show, but it's much harder for me to forgive a lack of consistency for an arbitrary design esthetic that *they* themselves set up.
I'm in it for the final episode next week, but I'd like to see a show of hands: How many people on here actually give a crap about the Caprica series? I have less than zero interest in it myself after having been beaten down by this season of this show…
I thought about that with the right angles, too. And nope, I give not a single crap about the Caprica series.
I don't know why, but it makes me happy to know we're on the same page about that. I predict Craprica to be next years version of Flash Gordon for the SFC
I give a crap.
And you'll see why below…
You didn't actually say why you give a crap below…
Although there were some slow parts this week, I mostly enjoyed the flashbacks, in particular the Lee-Kara-Zack bits. I don't think we've ever seen the Adama boys on screen together before. (Plus, I love that haircut on Katee. And Jamie was wearing a short-sleeved shirt. Hello, arms! [/shallow])
You're definitely right about the gender attractiveness split, though. There are a lot fewer hot guys than hot chicks. I think that, in part, it's because so many of the recurring cast are from L.A., while most of the background artists are from the local Vancouver talent pool. Seriously, there's something in the water up there that makes for a disproportionately gorgeous population.
…Or it could just be that lingering societal bias thing. I dunno.
I've been to Vancouver many a time. The people there are pretty much exaclty like any other midsized city, though perhaps a bit more disproportionately caucasian than most cities in the US. The racial mix is different – lots and lots of Asians, not very meny black people. I think the 'looks' difference is just that whomever they use for casting (I assume the same agency that the Stargate shows use, since there's a lot of crossover) are just pretty people who want to do pretty people things like act, and the non-pretty people don't delude themselves and do non-pretty people things like work at hardware stores and stuff.
Hee! I was going to say, "Um, I'll take the Leoben, Anders, and Tyrol boy Cylons, thanks!"
Oh, man. Maybe I feel differently because I just caught up with the WHOLE of BSG in one shot, but I think I have less trouble with a lot of stuff than you do! Aside from some crappy episodes in Season 2, and a bit of melodramatic dialogue throughout, I've thought the show as a whole was really solid. Yes, Kara got EXTREMELY annoying for a long while – but she's also an abuse survivor who has developed a whole bunch of bad behavior to defend herself. I've known people like that. I've also known people in the annoying kind of relationship that she and Apollo have. Yes, it's annoying – but it's also real. I loved that Lee GOT FAT. Not something that you'd expect on a TV show, but something that would happen. And we still had the benefit of TV magic when he lost the weight so quickly. Then again, guys are good at that. Grrr….)
As for the sushi – I mean, they also have corded phones on a space ship. I'd give them a little leeway on this one. What I love is that none of their paper has corners. So, I'll give them the sushi for that one interesting little detail.
Lastly, as for "However, the contrast between the men and women on BSG, even in the background, is particularly stark."….
LADY, IS YOU BLIND???
Starbuck – APOLLO
Boomer/Athena – HELO (what's UP hot sex scene in a bathroom!!)
ANDERS!!!!!! Um, yeah. I love me some "hotter, smarter Dane Cook" He and Starbuck playing Pyramid ball when they first met. Um, yeah – I don't even know what that game is, but it looked like sex to me.
Baltar is really attractive, too, but is SUUUUUCH a pansy-ass douche that I can't find him attractive. But that's a character thing, not a looks thing. The actor is hot.
I think Chief Tyrol is really hot, too. And as he's also NICE and can be badass when he has to be, that gets points.
Saul Tighe? TOTALLY a DILF, and I don't care who knows it. And while Bill Adama isn't exactly my cup of java, there were moments in the show where I would've done him, too. When he challenged Tyrol to boxing? Watching him in, like, ANY fight? I was like "you're old enough to be my dad, and I don't even CARE!"
And yes, I also love that there were hot older women on this show. I think both Ellen and Laura are beautiful, and I love that they were getting some! Come to think of it (heh, I said "come" to think of it), there was a LOT of great sex on this show. That also gives BSG bonus points in my book.
I'm very much looking forward to Caprica. I've totally been sucked into this world, and I don't want to leave. And also – re: this episode, let's remember that it was part one of a three part series finale. If "nothing happened", that's only because it was the BEGINNING of a story. They set up a HUGE story in trying to get Hera back, and I can't wait to see how it unfolds on Friday!
I suppose it's pretty subjective – Tigh and Chief don't do it for me. (and I have some weird tastes – Hugh Laurie, anyone?) My feelings toward Apollo are similar to yours about Baltar – not that he's a pansy ass douche; he's just a douche, period.