Buffy for Beginners 4.1: The Freshman

By Sabrina Boyer

I love this season. There’s Riley (I know he’s not a hit for everyone, but he’s a good guy), Adam, Tara, Parker, and the Initiative. Professor Walsh. But there’s also Sunday. The big bad vamp that almost takes Buffy. I’m not sure how I feel about Buffy’s woe as me attitude in this ep; I know that even though she’s the slayer, she’s bound to have her off days. But this? After blowing up Sunnydale High? Puh-lease. I guess I just don’t see Ms. Slayerfest ’98 headin’ down the low self-esteem road.

So the gang, minus Xander who is now a local, is in college. Buffy and Will sit in a cemetery deciding what courses to take. “Wait! Images of pop culture! This is good! They watch TV and movies, and even commercials,” Will says. “For credit?” Buffy asks. It’s been a slay heavy summer for Buffy as Vampy McVamp crawls out of the grave a few feet behind her. Then he notices the stakes and bails. “I can’t let college get in the way of my slaying. I’ve got to stay sharp. Is this guy ever gonna wake up?” Buffy’s back, and with new credits!

Five miles away, UCSD is uncharted territory for the gang. Buffy stands helplessly in the middle of the quad listening to all the campus groups, what she is or isn’t supposed to do, and runs into Will. “Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?” someone asks her. “You know, I meant to, and then I just got really busy,” she replies. Greatest. Response. Ever. Will is pumped about knowledge energy collective intelligence that’s a penetrating force with her mind opening up and thrusting and spurting knowledge. Buff is a little overwhelmed; completely disoriented. Oz seems to know what’s up, however, as Will and Buff head to the library. They lament that Giles is not librarian at UCSD since he’s a “gentleman of leisure” while Xander is traveling the U.S. Buffy wants to get the gang back together in the library, but it’s a whole new world full of books and no whispers.

They’re off to the campus bookstore next. “When mom gets the bill I hope it’s a funny aneurysm,” Buffy quips. (Is this foreshadowing for season five?) Then they run into Riley who Buffy bonks on the head with the heavy heavy Psych books. “I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten my manners in all the concussion,” he replies. Will and Riley talk operant conditioning as Buffy tries to fit in. “Psych is interesting, cause you know, everyone’s got a brain,” she says. Or, almost everyone.

She meets up with her new roomie, Kathy, who seems okay until she puts up her Celine Dion poster and claims that this year is going to be “super fun.” She snores and talks in her sleep too. First day of classes and Buffy heads into her pop culture course where the professor takes his job way too seriously. Is this Whedon’s way of poking fun at all of us who critique and discuss this show oh so seriously? Classic. Enter Professor Walsh, nicknamed “The evil bitch monster of death.” Whew. College is hard.

Later that night she runs into Eddie, another freshman who has lost his way. They talk security blankets and Eddie’s is the novel Of Human Bondage while Buffy’s is Mr. Pointy. Buffy’s made a new friend. One that…immediately gets attacked. By vampires.  Poor Eddie. They raid his room for stuff and write a note that makes it seem like he’s just up and left college. That he couldn’t handle it. Buffy smells something fishy when she wonders where he is in class and checks out his dorm. Next to his bed is his novel. He would never leave without it.

The vamp nest peeps talk about having to kill cooler people and make fun of freshman and their surprisingly predictable poster choices: Klimt or Monet. Meanwhile, Buffy heads to Giles’ pad and finds his lady friend, Olivia. In his shirt. And nothing else. She was a student of his. Giles has sex. Whoa. “I’m not supposed to have a private life?” Giles asks. “No, cause you’re very very very old and it’s gross,” Buffy responds. Buffy tries to make an argument for a campus vampire gang since Eddie went missing; Giles tells her that she’s a grown-up now, and he can’t always be there to help her. Being grown-up sucks.

Buffy patrols on campus and sees Eddie. He’s a vamp and she stakes him. Behind her is Sunday and her gang of lackeys. There’s a monster sarcasm rally, and Sunday is up for the challenge. “I think you had a lost of misconceptions about college. Like anyone would be caught dead wearing that,” she says, insulting Buffy’s outfit. That catches her off guard and Sunday proceeds to kick Buffy’s ass. Sunday’s got the verbal chops and that’s got Buffy on the run. Literally. “Freshman,” Sunday says. Buffy’s arm is hurt. She realizes that college really is different and that she’s all alone.

Will has Oz and seems to thrive in college. Buffy walks the other way, all the way home. Joyce asks her how college is as Buffy notices her room full of gallery packing crates. “I didn’t think you’d be back so soon,” Joyce says. The phone rings. Buffy answers it. There’s no one there. When she gets back to campus, she finds her stuff gone and a note supposedly written by her saying she can’t take it and has left.

So to The Bronze she heads. And Xander’s there. He’s back. What did he see? He got as far as Oxnard when his engine fell out and he worked at a lady’s bar. Apparently, it has to do with him filling in for one of the male strippers at the bar. How’s college? “College is good,” she says. “Ok, once more, with even less feeling,” Xander comments. She looks like she has cancer of the puppy. She tells him she doesn’t’ know how to stop Sunday and her lackeys. Xander’s all about assembling the avengers. What’s the what? “What if I can’t cut it? Slaying, everything,” she says.

Xander tells her she’s his hero. When he’s all alone, in the dark, facing some big bads, he asks himself, “What would Buffy do?” And as a fan, I do too. She’s my hero too. They agree to put this bitch in the ground and start some research. They figure out where they’re hanging and Buffy sees them making fun of her stuff. Mr. Gordo. Her skirt. Her diary. And then she falls through the glass roof.

“Say, don’t I know you from beating the crap out of you?” Sunday asks. Xander fills in Will and Oz with what’s the what as Buffy gets her butt kicked, again. Until Sunday messes with her Class Protector Award. “This arms not looking so good,” Sunday says. “Wanna know the truth? I only need one.” And she’s back! And kickin’ some ass! Will, Xander and Oz show up to help as Buffy kicks Sunday’s ass some more. “Hey Buff. Need a hand?” Oz asks. “No thanks. I’m good.” And wham! Stake through the heart! And then the cutest thing ever. Giles shows up with weapons, saying he can’t leave her out here alone. She knows now what she can expect. And then, one of Sunday’s vamps gets away only to get tasered by military guys in masks. What’s going on? Who ARE these guys?

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About Sabrina Boyer: As a kid my dad would sneak scary movies past my mom and let me indulge in his horror movie fetish. I grew up watching V, Alien Nation, The Thing, The Fog (all originals) and then, in 1992 when Buffy the movie came out, I became obsessed with vampires, girl power, and all things gothic. I once stayed home from school, faked sick, and watched BTVS: the movie 6 times in a row. I know the beginning cheerleading dance by heart (still). Currently, I’m obsessing over Laurell K. Hamilton novels, and dream about Anita Blake being my best friend.

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