Chuck vs. The Beefcake

by Jenn Kim
“I’m not into nice guys. All they want to do is talk about their feelings and emotions when sometimes what a woman really wants is a man who acts.”

OUCH. That one definitely hit our really nice, emotionally sensitive hero below the belt.

Tonight’s episode of Chuck fell on some repeated themes. Despite, or maybe because of, a squeal-worthy hand-holding moment with Sarah in the episode prior, Chuck decides that their cover relationship is getting too complicated (again). He therefore breaks up with her (again) only to be threatened and jealous of a much smoother, more weapon-adept beefcake (…again). Since Bryce Larkin is no where to be found, tonight’s man candy comes in the form of Cole Barker, a Fulcrum-friendly “ladies’ man” waiting to pass dangerous intelligence to his Fulcrum contact. Sarah is assigned to retrieve the intel from him “by any means necessary,” which unfortunately for Chuck, is official CIA code for bumping uglies.

And so begins Chuck’s miserable journey towards metaphorical castration.

First, Chuck’s forced to listen to Sarah’s graphic seduction of Cole Barker via CIA earpiece. There’s lots of panting and slamming of bodies that make our Chuckles sad, but Sarah is able to take control of the situation pre-coitus when her cover is blown.  Sarah and Chuck then prepare to hand the captured bad dude to the CIA.

But wait!! On the way to the Castle, a ginormous helicopter starts shooting at them. After Sarah fearlessly attempts to divert the helicopter’s attention, the bad guy hottie saves her by making it magically EXPLODE in slow-motion (while Chuck hides and cowers a safe distance away). It’s discovered that the beefcake isn’t actually Fulcrum-friendly, but is instead a MI6 spy deep undercover, and his record of heroism kind of makes Chuck look like…a nerdy Buy More employee.

Sigh. Poor Chuck. He desperately tries to prove his worth and coolness, but spends the rest of the episode looking especially bumbly next to Agent Smooth Pants.  Even though Chuck is able to hack into the Fulcrum intelligence chip (which shows footage of him as the Fulcrum intersect, yikes!), he also detonates the tracking device, leading to the capture of Sarah, Chuck and Agent Barker. Chuck tells Sarah and Barker what’s on the chip right before Fulcrum’s hot lady agent commences the torture.

And again we watch Barker act the hero, as he withstands torture like a frickin’ torture pro and sacrificially claims to be the intersect, leaving Sarah mentally swooning. Meanwhile, Chuck passes out (“I fainted on purpose. That was my MOVE”) and Casey rescues the gang. The CIA help Barker get ready to leave the country, and he and Sarah share a passionate make-out session before they part ways.

Which leaves me wondering: what’s going on with Sarah? I can’t help but wonder why she fell so easily for Agent Barker’s smarmy, smug British charms. He clearly represents everything Chuck isn’t: smooth, annoyingly self-confident and dubiously sincere. Is Sarah ready to move on? Does Chuck and his family and friends too often remind Sarah of what she doesn’t have, and does she need to be with someone who can more readily relate to her desire for a spy life? I’m guessing and hoping no, but I was annoyed to see Agent Barker will be coming back next week. I suppose with him knowing about Chuck being the intersect, there are still some fun loose ends that need to be tied, particularly with Barker being captured at the very end of the episode. Hopefully some much needed sparks will fly between Chuck and Sarah as they prepare to move in together.

Some more Chuck thoughts:

• Does anyone else wish that Andy Richter had survived and was the one to be discovered as the undercover beefcake?
• I’ve been kind of uncomfy with the CIA (literally) pimping their agents out on missions. Puts a whole new meaning to “serving your country,” amIright? Ehhh?
• And the sex puns were flowing freely tonight, thanks to Big Mike: “I gotta head over there and lay down the pipe. I gotta snake the drain; make sure that everything’s running smoothly again.”
• I felt like the Buy More plot fell a bit flat. Maybe it’s because the thought of Jeff flashing me his junk makes me want to register him as a sex offender, but I think it’s mainly because I really miss Jeffster!. *Sniff.
• Morgan’s kind of cute when he’s serving food and drinks. Except I didn’t really need to know he serves himself a la mode.
• John Casey in glasses and a suit- swoon!
• Speaking of Casey, I enjoyed watching him pistol whip Agent Barker in the back of the head. I think we’re all due for another Casey-centered episode already.
• My little sister and I think Ellie’s worried-older-sister song and dance routine is getting a bit one note. I’ve always liked Sarah Lancaster (even though Saved by the Bell: New Class kind of made me want to die), and I hope the writers make better use of her character soon.
• “I want to butter that muffin.”

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About Jenn Kim: When she’s not questioning her decision to enter lawyer-hood-dom, Jenn enjoys stalking celebrities and getting over her totally rational fear of zombies. She also idolizes Joss Whedon, and is crossing her fingers that Nathan Fillion and NPH will accept her friend requests.

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