Supernatural: Criss Angel is a Douchebag

With Darkness and the Death-Hour
by Sylvia Bond
Supernatural Episode Review – Season 4, Episode 12
“Criss Angel is a Douchebag”

I know the rest of the world has moved on from this, but every single time I see Barry Bostwick in any role, I immediately picture him in fishnet stockings, a black corset, with a feather in his hair, floating on an inner tube in a swimming pool with Tim Curry, who is similarly dressed. I know, I know, Barry has worked hard to move on from this interesting role, selected when he was young and inexperienced, but when you’ve seen the movie The Rocky Horror Picture Show as many times as I have (and my numbers are in the respectable range), that image of Barry and his beautiful legs becomes emblazoned in your brain.

At the time of my Rocky Horror days, Tim Curry was the hottest thing to attach itself to my retinas, but it’s Barry who has continued on with a wide-ranging acting career, taking roles in anything from Disney remakes to TV mini-series to obscure roles in popular TV shows. A working actor, to be sure, but still, when I see him, I see fishnet stockings. Which rather detracts from whatever role he’s playing. Not his fault, just a quirky little habit of mine. So when I saw his first scene in this ep, I’m like, oh, no. It’s Barry, fishnet stockings here we come!  

Except that, in keeping with Show’s track record, secondary, one-off characters are well written and well acted, so Barry got his chance to shine, here, in his role of Jay, the magician nearing the end of his career, which was convincing and solid. I enjoyed watching him emote and almost completely forgot about the stockings. Almost. There are some things you can’t run from, no matter how many years are between you and it. Bless, you, Barry, for putting up with me. 

On to the main event. This week’s ep has to do with three aging magicians attending a magician’s convention, only to realize that the world of magic has moved on from card tricks to flash and dance. I was reminded right away of the TV show The Magician starring Bill Bixby. Who, as you probably remember, also played Bruce Banner, aka, the Incredible Hulk. Anyway, in The Magician, magic was used to cause trouble and solve crimes, and Bill Bixby was dapper and totally fun, so watching Show this week brought yet another trip down memory lane. 

Here, there’s something killing magicians (or, to start, a magician) so thus entereth the boys, to poke around while wearing suits and almost matching ties and say cute things. Dean grabs the first brass ring when he wonders if Jeb the magician is famous for his “douchebaggery.” Then there’s the bit of backstory we get when we learn that at age 13, Sam was way into magic tricks; he even had a wand and everything. Which instantly made me wonder where on earth in the Impala did he store his magic stuff? And how on earth did The Dad put up with it? From experience I can tell you that kids who are into magic tricks will bug the crap out of you till you acquiesce to their requests to watch them. Although, seeing as how the three Winchesters were essentially stuck in the Impala for hours on end, I feel fairly safe in assuming that Dean and The Dad were a captive audience to Sam’s antics. (Which just makes me smile.)

Anyway, Vance the magician dies from 10 stab wounds that don’t actually tear through his shirt, in an identical pattern to the pointy things found on Jay’s “trick of death.” The other magician, Jeb, dies from hanging, while Jay is doing his famous “escape from the noose” trick. The one problem I had here was with the inconsistency of the deaths. For Vance, there are no blades, but when Jeb dies, there is a rope, so why did one death require no weapons and the other one did? Does anyone care besides me? Probably not, and it could be explained away by the vagaries of magic, so, yes, let’s move on.

Sam and Dean don their favorite disguise, posing as FBI agents. But seeing as how the three magicians are rather familiar with slight of hand and deception, they see through the boys right away, and send Dean off on a wild goose chase. Why Show determined it was necessary to send Dean off ALONE (like it’s been doing for a while now) I will not understand because while the subsequent scene was funny, it would have been a whole lot funnier had the boys had each other to play off of. 

As for the wild goose chase, I just about laughed myself sick, and had the feeling that someone on Show has been peeking at fan fiction, which is full of this kind of stuff. Yeah, Dean is sent off to see the “Chief” who is a dom at a bdsm club. When Chief says, “You ain’t been had till you’ve been had by the Chief,” the look on Dean’s face is priceless. It’s half astonishment at the audacity of some people, and then, as his jaw drops and his eyes widen, it’s half “Oh, my.” Like, you know, given another second he might have signed up for it. Love it.

Meanwhile, back at the motel, the reason for the brothers separating this ep is revealed. Ruby shows up to harp at Sam. The two of them argue and pose and we get a nice lengthy shot of the toilet that stands between them. (And I mean that literally, because it’s a very odd shot. Not that I mind the realism of toilets, except that for this scene, it was completely unnecessary.) Ruby wants Sam to kill Lilith, warns about the oceans of people who will die if Sam doesn’t do something, and Sam, well, he just wants to stand there looking good with his shirt sleeves rolled up. Which he does, oh, yes indeed. Later, when the brothers hook up, there is the inevitable lying from Sam and what he’s been doing, and the dissembling from Dean who probably will never tell about his encounter at the bdsm club. But did he go in or not? That’s what I want to know.

The best and most satisfying scene in this ep for me was the one where the brothers dither in the motel room. It’s like old times, with Sam at his laptop and Dean pacing around. They’re talking about death, and whether they will grow old doing what they do. Dean, of course, is sure that he will die before he gets old, and would rather go out in a blaze of glory than toddle along, shuffling to the beat of the good times that once rolled beneath the wheels of the Impala. Sam, on the other hand, thinks that maybe they shouldn’t grow old doing this, and I got the feeling that he’s pretty adamant about it. 

You can’t have it both ways of course, but the heavyhanded overuse of original characters who are also working through the issue of how do you handle it when your race is run is explained. I can see why Show determined that the framework of the magicians would be the best way of dealing with the impasse between the brothers, and help to explain why Sam does what he eventually does. But did Show have to use up so much time on the magicians? Don’t quote me on this, but over half of the ep didn’t have the boys in it, and that just peeves me. If I wanted to watch an ep about aging magicians, I would have watched something else. 

Anyway, back to the dither. It’s beautifully filmed, especially at the point where Sam gets up to stand in front of Dean. Dean is in sharp profile, and Sam’s got his arms crossed over his manly (and built) chest, holding himself so tightly, it’s almost as if he’s afraid if he doesn’t, he’ll fly apart. He doesn’t like to listen to Ruby, she upsets him. He also doesn’t like the idea of either dying young, or going on saving people, hunting things, forever. 

From the get go, Sam saw the hunting for The Dad and the hunting for evil as an act that would some day end. Rather like a magician doing card tricks, eventually you have to move on to the next thing. So when you combine Ruby’s harping on Lilith with the very vivid and up close view of the affects of age on one’s chosen career, and Sam reaches a decision. At the end of the ep, he gets into the car with Ruby, and says, “I don’t want to be doing this when I’m an old man.” So off they go. To where and to do what is not explained, but it’s easy to figure out that he’s made his decision to go dark side and face Lilith and end it all. One way or another. We’ll just have to wait for subsequent eps to find out exactly what our boy is doing.

The other part of the ep dealt with the old fashioned gig of finding out who or what is killing all the magicians that cross Jay’s path. Typically these are young magicians who don’t respect their elders, and the boys run through the list of suspects, which, obviously only has three people on it: Jay, Vernon, and Charlie. Show does a good job of planting red herrings, as the boys suspect first Jay, then Vernon, and finally figure out that it’s really Charlie. Charlie who was given a grimoire by P.T. Barnum, and who figured out the trick to eternal youth. Which he uses to support Jay in his chosen career. Forever. 

Forget for a minute that Barnum has never been connected with black magic. Forget for a minute that the grimoire disappears from the story to go to that magical land where all lost grimoires go, right down the lane from the Land of Lost Socks. Forget the loose handling of the world of magicians, who although never tell their secrets, don’t also tend to kill each other or mess with real magic. And instead, concentrate on more important things. Like how GOOD Sam looks in that Carhartt jacket. Or the question of where on earth did Dean’s leather jacket go to? Did the demons keep it? Or is it in the Land of Lost Jackets? Will we ever see it again? Does Dean miss it? Yes, these are the things that run through my head when I watch Show. Important things. Deep things. Like the missing scene where Sam and Dean spend the night in jail. Show is fully aware how much I enjoy that sort of thing and I look upon it as a personal affront that Show didn’t include it.

I also take it as a personal affront what happened during the final show down. Sam and Dean arrive to try to prevent Charlie from convincing Jay and Vernon to grow young with him. Vernon’s all for it, but Jay knows that with true wisdom comes acceptance, even if it’s of aging and being unable to do what you once used to do. Plus, he’s on Dean’s side, and knows that once you taste the darkness, there ain’t no coming back from it. But that’s not what makes me mad, no. Here’s what did. Charlie attacks. He brings a rope down to hang Dean, and sends Sam sprawling on the table of death. (Naturally, Sam is tied down, which means it must be Thursday.) Eventually, Jay stabs himself, and, because he planted a tarot card on Charlie, Charlie dies. Down tumbles the rope, and Dean is choking but not going to die. And what does Sam do? From the vantage point of the table of death (where he has also been freed), Sam asks, “You okay?”

Say what? Since when did one brother not rush to the other brother’s side when that brother was in peril? Whoever wrote this ep simply doesn’t know that even though the brothers are fighting, they always look out for each other. Would always be there, to reach out and, not just ask whether the other one’s okay, but touch, to make sure. There used to be a lot of brotherly touching on Show, but I suspect it’s also in the Land of Lost Things. Show could go there, you know, and get it back. If it wanted to. If it wanted to make me happy.

The important theme in this ep is that of brothers, and what one brother will do for another. Of course, Vernon, Jay, and Charlie are not brothers, but they’ve grown to love each other as such, and the comparison of the relationship between the magicians and that between Sam and Dean is raised several times. The focus here is on how far is too far, and how addiction to power (aka magic) becomes like crack. Naturally, the fingers pointing at what Sam might potentially do is clear; all along, Dean’s been warning Sam not to take that last step, not to go there. Here, with Charlie, Dean’s got the perfect example of what not to do. But naturally, Sam acts like he can manage the heady feelings that power will bring, and that he can be strong enough to deal how killing Lilith will take him off the map. Dean may doubt his younger brother’s abilities (as all older siblings do) but I have a feeling that Sam’s got some pretty mad map skills, and although we will worry for him and count him gone when he goes where he’s going, he’ll make it back from beyond the pale.

Sylvia Bond is a ten-year technical writing veteran with too many degrees under her belt to count. She lives in Colorado, but does not ski, preferring instead to spend her money and time at the annual Great American Beer Festival, taking road trips across the United States, and reading historical fiction from the comfort of her fluffy green arm chair. She has been involved in fandom since 1993 and been writing fanfic since approximately 1993. What she finds most amazing about fandom (besides the open heartedness of fans and the sheer amount of creativity) is how visible fandom has become. “In my day,” she says, “we had to hide behind P.O. boxes to get fanfic. But nowadays, people wear t-shirts that shout their affiliation and share their shiny toys on the internet.” It’s a wonderful world.

Never miss an update. Subscribe to Pink Raygun by Email or subscribe via RSS

Related Stuff: