They’re Werewolves, Bitches!
Hey, let’s do a show about werewolf women and call it Bitches!
That’s what’s happening at the Fox Network. Bitches will be a dramedy about four women in New York who are also werewolves. It’s being pushed as Sex and the City with werewolves.
There are three things that bother me about this: Sex and the City, werewolves, and Fox. OK, I guess that’s everything, then.
Sex and the City: Although it’s a favorite, Sex and the City is a product of the late 1990s and the new millennium when times were good and credit was easy. It spoke to women at the time the way Mary Tyler Moore spoke to women in the 1970s and in that way, SATC was an event like Halley’s Comet. Attempts to re-create the rapport and character balance haven’t been successful.
Werewolves: Body hair, bad teeth, and excessive slobber are not sexy. Transfiguration from hot babe to werewolf is not sexy. It’s pretty horrific. Have you seen An America Werewolf in London? Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban? Blood and Chocolate tried to sexify werewolves and failed.
Fox: Need I say more?
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Lisa Fary’s early exposure to classic Battlestar Galactica in 1979 is largely responsible for her lifelong interest in science fiction and her childhood ambition of being an intergalactic space cowgirl. She thinks diagramming sentences is a fun alternative to Sudoku.
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I love werewolves. I really do. Vampires may be the “it” creature now…well they’ve always been the “it” creature…anyway, even though vampires are the “it” creature, I’ll always like werewolves better. I think they’re tougher (they can survive an explosion—at least that werewolf did in Monster Squad) and they can be hot too (David Naughton. NAKED David Naughton, running around a zoo with balloons covering his junk. Hilarious AND hot).
The thing that drives me away is the Sex and the City parallel. I can’t stand Sex and the City. The only thing I’ll watch Kim Cattrall in it is Big Trouble in Little China. I’m the odd girl out on this one (as evidenced by my coworkers) but I don’t care. I just can’t get into it.
And I’m totally pissed that werewolves are being dragged down into it. And Bitches has to be the stupidest name in the history of ever. Yeah I get the parallel, Fox. I still hate it.
I don't get SatC, and neither does my best friend. We realize that, as geeks, we're really not their target audience, though.
I've found werewolves to be hit-or-miss, much like any other genre monster. The ones I like tend to be in books more than TV or movies, simply because the special effects are really difficult to make believable, but there's no denying Oz from BtVS is still made of awesome. Thus far, my absolute favorite werewolves have been in Jim Butcher's "Dresden Files" books.
I have to agree that the addition of SatC archetypes, the Fox network, and an unappealing title will not get me to watch a werewolf show. I think they could do a lot better.
Kim Cattrall did make a convincing Vulcan in Star Trek VI. I recognize that SatC wasn't for everyone, but it was a phenomenon at the time and its time has passed – now I look at it more as a period piece, like Emma or Sense and Sensibility. I also feel like, in this economy, there's no place for their kind of extravagance. I could have bought into Friends with werewolves or Cheers with werewovles. But, SatC I think is better off left in a time vault.
She was a good Vulcan!! I realize now that my comment makes me look like I really don't like Kim Cattrall–I actually do. What I should have said is that the only thing I watch regularly with Kim Cattrall is Big Trouble in Little China. Also I have this weird guilty love for Mannequin. I have no idea why.
Didn’t they do the sexy werewolf thing in the 90s with Wilderness? I wasn’t allowed to watch it so they must have successfully sexified it to some degree.
My pick for werewolves will always be Dog Soldiers – so low budget that aside from some yellow contact lenses and false nails the transformations weren’t shown at all. But awesome as awesome can be. The werewolves aren’t sexy but the soldiers sure are. Plenty of Kevin McKidd and Sean Pertwee goodness.
Wilderness isn't one I'm familiar with. Neither is Dog Soldiers, but if Kevin McKidd is there, so am I!
Watch the first "The Howling" (written by John Sayles) to see werewolves done properly.