WoWoW: You may be playing a bit too much WoW if…

by John Zakour

In my push to level 80 I may have been playing a bit too much but I rationalized this by saying, “Hey, once I get to 80 I will relax.”  Surprisingly enough now that I am finally at 80 I have relaxed quite a bit.   Sure I need better gear now (I’ve replaced almost all of my epics with greens and blues) but I know that will come in time.  I have decided I will now limit my playing time to no more than 2 hours a day and to take days off.  This will not only make my wife happy but also my agents and publishers.  Plus, some subtle signs have been telling I may have been playing a bit too much in the last couple of days.  Which leads me to the meat of this story…

You may be playing too much WoW if….

• You start humming a theme song for your character.  Yes, this is embarrassing  but I actually found myself humming this theme song:

He’s Zapper Zapper Zapper Zapper
He’s so cool and manly
He’ll zap you once he’ll zap you twice
He’ll freeze you with lance of ice
He’s Zapper Zapper Zapper Zapper

• Sadly I actually caught myself humming this while walking the dog.  Speaking of the dog.
• You start thinking, wow wouldn’t it be cool if I could polymorph my dog into a sheep.  Then she could eat the grass and we’d save a ton of time or money on lawn care.
• You are watching a special on the nature channel and you say to yourself, hey that bear looks like my new mount.
• Your cursor keys have your fingerprints embedded in them from pressing them so much.
• When you sleep you have WoW dreams.  My last one I was fighting those really cute but annoying tiki warriors.
• While driving to the store you start thinking, man it would be so cool if I could teleport instead.
• You actually consider what to get your mounts for the holidays.
• When you walk away from the game your fingers are still pressing keys for you instant spells for at least 10 minutes.
• You look at people and start wondering how many hit points they may have.
• You start writing articles and how to tell if you are playing too much WoW for websites.

John Zakour is a humor / sf/ fantasy writer with an online Master’s degree in Human Behavior. He has written zillions (well, thousands) of gags for syndicated comics and comedians (including: Rugrats, Grimmy, Bound and Gagged, Dennis the Menace, The tonight show and, Joan River’s old TV show.) John also writes his own syndicated comic, Working Daze for United Media. John has been the weekly cartoonist for Geek.com and has sold cartoons or gags to hundreds of journals, magazines and web sites. John also has been a regular contributor to Nickelodeon magazine writing Fairly Odd Parents, Rugrats and Jimmy Neutron comic books. Recently John has started writing Simpsons comics for Bongo comics. John’s has written seven SF novels for Daw books the latest The Flaxen Femme Fatale hit bookstores on December 4th.

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