Heroes: Teenage Wasteland
Star TrekStargate:AtlantisFireflyBy Lisa Fary
This must be what it feels like to parent a teenager.
Every week I watch Heroes knowing that it has the potential to be something great if it would only apply itself. You know, the way it applied itself before discovering girls and deciding that science wasn’t hip. Every week I offer advice on getting back on the right path, which is ignored.
As a teenager, I saw this same dance performed many times with my friends and their parents, sometimes by me and my own parents. As an adult, I see my friends with kids engaging in this same struggle, endlessly frustrated, but pressing on.
If only Heroes had an Xbox we could take away until it shapes up and stops doing silly things like hitting me over the head with how powerless the supers are in the wake of the Eclipse of Doom. In this episode, “powerless” was bandied about like “maverick” in the waning days of the McCain campaign.
Not only is everyone powerless on Heroes this week, they’re all atwitter about it, too. They’ll announce their feelings of powerlessness while being shown powerless in dire situations. Getting shot at by Noah Bennet while naked. A Haitian torture dungeon. Bleeding on the floor of the drugstore. Dying in the hospital. Fighting off a rogue Haitian army.
And just to drive home exactly how powerless the supers are. . . Flint gets his ass kicked by Mohinder.
But, back to Bennet, Elle, and Sylar for a moment. Last week, we ended with Bennet across the street with a sniper rifle aimed at Sylar, who was making out with Elle. In part two, Sylar doesn’t get shot at until after banging Elle, which means. . . .
Noah Bennet likes to watch. Or, the unsexy make out session made Bennet vomit so violently that he couldn’t properly aim the rifle and take a shot. Bennet has made some silly decisions lately (i.e., leaving his loaded gun on the floor with Sylar and Elle last week), so I’m not sure which possibility to believe.
Even if Bennet’s assassination of Sylar was delayed by vomit, sexual deviance continues to lurk the Heroesverse. Way to sex up Elle’s murder, guys. Did she have to be laying in missionary on a beach, moaning while Sylar sliced her head open?
And another thing! Am I the only person in America who isn’t all pissed off at my dad for working a lot when I was a kid? And being a Navy guy, my dad was gone for a hell of a lot longer than Claire’s dad ever was. But, that was his job. I got that and never tried to make him feel guilty about it. Every time Claire starts up with her angst about Daddy working so much, I want to smack her. Daddy has to work so you can have a decent life, Claire. Stop your bitching.
I can only hope that this is all just a phase that Heroes will grow out of.
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Lisa Fary’s early exposure to classic Battlestar Galactica in 1979 is largely responsible for her lifelong interest in science fiction and her childhood ambition of being an intergalactic space cowgirl. She thinks diagramming sentences is a fun alternative to Sudoku.
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