Meet the Evil League of Evil (Applicants): The Steward from ATHUG
| Interviews with Other Applicants |
| Fury of Solace |
| The Grimmarian |
When the Evil League of Evil opened up the application process this year, I bet the last thing they expected was the threat of a strike, but now that’s exactly what they have on their hands. With the threat of labor unrest hanging over them, will the ELE be objective when selecting new members? This year’s selection process is sure to be one that’s talked about for decades to come.
For those of you not in the know, the Evil League of Evil is an organization for supervillians. A recent inductee that you may be familiar with is Dr. Horrible of “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog”, an online superhero musical created by Joss Whedon and his brothers. Villains from around the globe submitted three-minute video applications to the ELE. Ten lucky winners will be accepted into the League and featured on the Dr. Horrible DVD.
Pink Raygun was lucky enough to interview a member of ATHUG, an organization that is home to many digruntled employees of those in the ELE. Here’s what the Steward had to say about his ELE application.
Questions for the ELE Applicant Steward
What are your powers? What makes you more qualified for the Evil League of Evil than other members of ATHUG?
Steward: Every member of ATHUG automatically gains the power of collective bargaining and a reasonable grievance process, as long as his dues are current. If you are referring to any Superpowers, then any smart villain would know that is a hand you play close to your chest. Superpowers are dangerous enough to face, let alone to possess. Allow your opponent to believe you are weaker than you really are, that way when you win he/she will merely write it off as luck and happenstance. That being said, don’t tell anyone, but I do dabble in the dark advertising arts, you know, logo manipulation, non-corporeal corporate branding, marketingsmanship, that kind of thing. None of those monitors were even plugged in during our video, that was all me.
What makes me more qualified than the other members of ATHUG? Gumption. Pure, sweet gumption. That and an earlier hire date. Also, according to ATHUG bylaws, as a shop steward, I am not technically a henchmen. I’m a Henchmen Representative.
What are your plans for the future of the world?
Steward: Anyone who believes that they alone can change the future of the world is being a tad unrealistic. Every five-and-dime Villain at some point makes the grandiose and equally absurd claim of wanting to rule the world. Have they ever stopped for one minute and thought of what a logistical nightmare that would be? Regardless of what you might have heard, crime and villainy is about making money. It’s about earning a living wage, playing by your own rules, and being cleverer than the other mice in the rat race. Why run the maze when you could simply drill a straight line through the walls and get the cheese? Circumstances would be a lot better for all of us in this business if more Villains could grasp the concept of “Realistic Goals, Realistic Returns”.
Some people say that a strike by the Association of Thieves, Henchmen, Underlings and Goons will only cause a demise of the group, as supervillains will increasingly turn to the Henchmen’s Guild for their do-bad-er needs. What are your thoughts on this possibility? What are your plans for keeping ATHUG strong?
Steward: Many organizations claim to represent the common thief, the everymaniac. The Henchmen’s Guild, along with Diabolic Designs, Inc., Coalition of the Villain, Sisterhoodlums (a militant offshoot of Kelly Services), Rotary International and a few smaller mom-and-pop henching organizations are often mistaken for the service ATHUG provides. In terms of the bigger picture, ATHUG is the marquee name in the world of very organized crime and contracted civil disobedience. In short, we are the only game in town.
This funneling of clout and resources through ATHUG, which led to our overall market dominance, was a direct result of the Underworld Unification Commission of 1965. During the late 50’s and early 60’s, Henchmen everywhere were getting a bad rap, even popular culture was taking cheap shots at us. Remember the original “Batman” television series? I’d be surprised to see those Henchmen tie their own shoes, let alone properly calibrate a molecular destabilizing ray. Well, modern pop culture references to Henchmen have changed for the better (or worse, depending on your perspective) as a result. We’ve come very far.
But as more and more highly skilled technicians are being squeezed out of the private sector in this stumbling economy, the caring arms of ATHUG are there to provide these disgruntled workers with a career that has the stability and security they need. Crime never has to worry about a recession, there is always something for the taking, and thus we grow stronger everyday.
If you could take down any superhero, who would it be?
Steward: I have yet to meet a superhero proper. Sure, a few disillusioned souls may regard some heroes as “super” but believe you me they are far from superior at anything. As for a specific crime-fighter that I would like to give what for though, I would have to say that Leroy “Encyclopedia” Brown is at the top of the list. He was annoying enough as a snot-nosed sleuth, but as an adult he is downright terrifying. I mean puberty played a pretty sick joke on all of us when it was finished with “Encyclopedia”. He has hands like cast iron skillets, when he slaps you it’s like getting hit by volumes Aa through Nu!
By the way, he goes by “Cyclopedia” now, ever since he lost an eye. In a bet, he lost an eye in a bet! Now that’s being a loose cannon.
Have you seen Brown’s work recently? His Henchmen maiming rate is both gratuitous and insensitive. I heard that, during “The Case of the Haunted Calliope,” when he finally caught up to the old sea captain wearing the ghost clown costume… well let’s just say I feel uncomfortable being in the same time zone as ole “Cyclopedia” Brown. That’s one man with severely overdeveloped sense of justice.
As a bonus, other Heroes I would like to punch in the stomach after they have eaten a satisfying and expensive dinner: Super Dave Osborne, Blankman, the Blue Man Group, Zombie Gandhi and GizmoDuck.
Questions for the Creators Jason Hager and Wally Dempsey
How did you come up with these characters?
Wally: We were talking about what all the other submissions would probably look like, something like the audition scene from the movie “Mystery Men”. So we asked ourselves, what is the one character hook that no one else is likely to think of? Who would be the most deserving of a position in the League? Henchmen. Also, Moist mentions a henchmen’s union so we took that as a sign.
Jason: We work as medium-to-low-level union employees at a local TV Station in West Virginia. While Dr. Horrible was being born out of the Writer’s Strike in LA, our broadcast union was holding informational pickets, printing up t-shirts, having layoffs and was experiencing general union vs. non-union tensions. We were in the thick of it. We thought it would be the perfect topic for us to confront.
Wally: Especially when we saw that in rules it was stated “Henchmen need not apply”.
The Steward: Outrageous!
Jason: Whoa! Ease up there Trigger. Anyway, don’t most employees believe they know more than their supervisors? Why would Henchmen believe any differently? And the idea of a union shop steward being the focus of grab for power is a little ridiculous.
Wally: Did you know that a licensed race official at a horse track is called a steward and that henchmen in old English loosely translates into “one who attends a horse”?
Jason: Are you asking me or Pink Ray Gun?
Wally: Um, I can’t tell it’s all text in here.
Will we see more installments?
Jason: Definitely, unless of course our bosses catch on that we are using all of their expensive equipment. We tried to throw in a few different things into the video that will become important later on, specifically Rankin Vyle University.
Wally: Yeah, Rankin Vyle for the rank and file. Isn’t that their school motto? That idea came from Moist also, when he said “you have enough evil hours…” We asked ourselves what evil hours? Credit hours? Did he have sort of on the job training? It seems a lot ideas came from Moist. He is an untapped resource. Right now we are having a blast playing with the ATHUG website, writing blogs, comic strips and random in world fiction.
Jason: We figure if we can at least entertain ourselves, then it is worth it, and we’ll keep doing it.
How did you discover Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog?
Wally: Jason told me about it, and I said, “nuh-uh.”
Jason: I actually found a link to the series while reading one of the comic/art blogs I frequent during my daily Internet stroll. I immediately showed it to Wally. Excitement ensued. At the time I was in the middle of rewatching Buffy Season 6, so the video hit me just perfect, coinciding with rewatching “Once More With Feeling,” Buffy’s musical episode. I had already seen Felicia Day in “The Guild” and her more recent snack commercial, and was a big fan. I was super excited about the cast. I can still remember how excited I was waiting for the next act of Dr. Horrible to upload to the site. Refresh, refresh, refresh.
Other than ATHUG, what is your favorite entry?
Jason: Choosing just one is like comparing apples and fire trucks.
Wally: Let’s just “Lady Laday” is just the stone cold nuts and talk about our next favorite.
I really like “Vagabond” and thus by association “Hits On Head With Bottle Guy”. I never would have been turned on to those crazy Canucks at Emerald City Storytellers if not for this contest. They did the “Firefly” parody “Mosquito”.
Jason: Not many of the applicants seemed to understand their own character as much as Vagabond’s creators seemed to understand theirs. It was so much more than just another Billy Buddy self-deflating in front of his Webcam, you know? Other favorites include: Fury of Solace, Huggles and, of course, PickleJar.
Wally: Yep.
Where can we learn more about you and your endeavors?
Jason: Well, I’m glad you asked that. We made a Web site “just in case” you would ask us that very question. Ever since we finished the video we’ve been jonesing to keep playing in the Dr. Horrible universe, so we have satisfied that hunger by putting content on www.athug.org.
Wally: Remember it’s all about fun and that’s what we are having, and we invite anybody to play along. We like to say that it is Whedon’s playground, and we just want to play in the sandbox. Plus, The Steward just loves to spout nonsense.
Want more? Read our interviews with other promising ELE applicants: Fury of Solace and the Grimmarian.
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Juliana Weiss is an aspiring Television writer in Los Angeles. She currently works as the head of the web content department for the star of an Emmy-nominated reality series. You can read her spec scripts at WeissRoessler.com.
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If you are inducted into the ranks of the Evil League of Evil, that would make The Stewart into the management class. This would make him unable to stay on as a collective negotiator and would have to resign.
So why bother? Or would the rush of management thoughts corrupt him more making him think he is boss of all? That will not happen because Bad Horse will stomp down with those terrifying hoofs. Of course that would make me happy!
I’m not sure I agree that making money is the be all and end all of villainy. But I do know more than a few villains who have bounced their reality check.
I rarely employ henchmen (too many loose ends), but ATHUG does good work. They are the pre-eminent henching guild of our time.
I am fully in support of ATHUG. I hired non-union henchmen to help me get my name out and polish my application. But they went AWOL with all of my precious video footage, including my bank heist, which has yet to be recovered. I have recovered bits and pieces of my blog though, but it has been a long road. I really wish I had gone with ATHUG henchmen.
ATHUG has provided wonderful advice on how to hire a good henchman. http://athug.org/blog/?p=36#respond
Hopefully next years ELE application process goes better.