by Nancy Mathews
Dear Joe Six Pack,
I wanted to write to you to assure you that all is well. There is no need to fear the Presidency of Barack Obama. The geeks and nerds of the world are extremely trustworthy. We are typically very good at what we do. We don’t read to ignore you, we read to gain knowledge. Think of college as the ultimate instruction booklet for an intellectual. It helps us learn how to think for ourselves and teaches us how to acquire more knowledge as challenges face us.
I realize back in high school you didn’t hold us in high esteem. We were freaks, you were jocks and frat boys, but we’ve all grown up. You own your very successful plumbing business and we run Microsoft and Apple. We brought you DVRs, cell phones and MySpace. All for you to enjoy. We don’t keep our successes to ourselves – we share them with the less intellectually fortunate than us.
Should you still be concerned, fear not, those incidents of being pushed into lockers, or into toilets are long forgotten. The millions of wedgies and times you called geek/nerd males “gay” are forgotten. Truly. We need to come together as one nation. The freaks, geeks, and nerds are here to herald you into a new age. A time where diversity is celebrated, wealth is spread and education valued. It can be a wonderful place for us all.
So relax, sit back. We’ve got this. You go fix pipes, build houses, run corporations. We’ll take care of the government and remember: Revenge of the Nerds was only a movie, right?
With love,
The Liberal Intellectual Elite
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Nancy Mathews works very hard at masquerading as a grown up to go to work and raise her two sons. Once the sun goes down she reverts to the 10 year old that she actually is. You can follow her plans for world domination through the formation of an army of knitters on her blog, Bronxgirlknits.
Lisa Fary's earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She's angry that it's 2011 and she still doesn't have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram. 
I love it! Beautifully put
I think it’s just Keystoners, really. Detroit is a hellhole, and people just like to burn stuff on any provocation, but Keystoners – wow. They’re just mean. I’ve been in other cities when the local team won the world series, and no one trashes their own town for that.
I don’t know. When the Arizona Wildcats won the NCAA tournament a few years ago, Tucson fans went nuts and did some trashing, even if it was limited to a three block length on one road. I stand by my observation.
Cross Burned on Obama Supporter’s Lawn
Here’s another.
Self professed highly successful geek here. I am a non-Obama supporter despite being a registered democrat who NEVER before voted for a Republican presidential candidate in 25+ years of exercising my right to vote. While I respect him for what he has accomplished, I find Obama to be a completely manufactured candidate, who won through a highly orchestrated, well-funded marketing campaign. This to me clearly demonstrates that with enough advertising budget you can sell the uneducated constituents of the American public just about anything. Obama was elected primarily as a result of the swarm of lemming like first time voters, who took no time to understand the issues and implications of his plans for our country. Be careful what you wish for…. you just may get it. I am fearful for our future.