Buffy for Beginners 3.8: Lover’s Walk

By Sabrina Boyer

Ok, so you know it’s bad if Spike is giving you love advice. There’s definitely something wrong if your relationship is more complicated than Spike and Dru’s. Poor Spikie.

It’s also apparently bad if you get a 740 verbal on your SAT’s; at least it is for Willow. Yowza! She’s a “slack jawed yokel.” The gang is a celebrating cause they’re super duper smart; everyone got around a 1400 (before the SAT changed their scoring system) and Cordy apparently did around the same. “Buffy, this could change your whole future!” Willow gushes. But Buffy wasn’t ever sure about her future or if she’d have one. “Getting out of Sunnydale is a good thing,” Cordy muses. “What kind of moron would ever wanna come back here?” And then cut to Spike, running over the “Welcome to Sunnydale” sign. Again (think season two when he first appeared in S-Town; also, bit of trivia. Spike was supposed to be killed off in season two).

“Much more than this, I did it my way…” Spike croons Sinatra as he re-visits the burnt collection of Miss Edith and the others (Dru’s doll collection) and we learn that Dru has left Spike and he’s gone a little looney. Meanwhile, Oz, Willow, Xan and Cordy are going on a double date to go bowling; Xander is locker material for Cordy’s locker, and Oz gives Willow a pez witch. They are both the cutest couple ever, and would be even cuter if Xander and Will weren’t doing smoochies behind everyone’s back. Love makes you do the wacky. And apparently, so do the SAT’s; Buffy is encouraged to look to her future and she actually has a glimpse of a future without Sunnydale; Faith could do the slaying and Buffy could do the learning. While Giles is off on a watcher thing, he warns Buffy not to do anything rash. “Nothing’s gonna happen,” Buffy says. “Something’s gonna happen!” Willow whines to Xander about the bowling idea.

“You belong at college parties with kegs and boys, not hellmouths and vampires,” Joyce encourages Buffy to go off to college. “Not really seeing the distinction,” Buffy responds. Agreed there. But could Faith really be Miss Sunnydale in the Slayer pageant? Is there really anything keeping Buffy in Sunnydale? Yeah, starts with an ‘A.’ Angel. Spike spies on Angel all drunk, still, (I’ve always wondered why vampires can get drunk but not breathe air; how does alcohol have any affect on a dead body? But I digress) and almost wakes up a pile of ashes. But he heads to the local magic shop to look for a curse for Angel and overhears Willow buying supplies for a de-lusting spell. He kills the magic shop owner and makes plans to get Dru back.

While the mayor is briefed on Spike’s return by his assistant, he approves a ‘committee’ to take care of this Spike problem. Buffy tells Angel about future college plans; they talk about how Joyce wants her to go somewhere a little less hellmouthy; but could Buffy run from her slayer duties? Really leave Angel? Angel tells her, as a friend, that he thinks she should leave. “Yeah, it’s not like there’s any great thing keeping me here.” Willow does an anti-love spell in the chemistry room at the high school and Xander reminds her that he has bad luck with these spells; and Spike kidnaps Willow and Xander then takes them back to a dungeony like place. “You can make Dru love me again!” “She didn’t even love me enough to kill me or cut off my head? Was that too much to ask? To show that she cared?” It was the Buffy truce at the end of season two that did it; he’s gone soft. But he was thinking of Dru the whole time. He caught her making out with a chaos demon on a park bench in Brazil. Spike cries on Willow’s shoulder and she responds with “there, there.”

And then…Spike makes a visit to Joyce, to eat her? Nope. To whine to her about how Dru left him. Cutest couple ever on the show=Spike and Joyce. “Our love was eternal, literally. Ya got any of those little marshmallows?” Angel sees Spike with Joyce but Angel can’t come in until Buffy invites him. They cut a deal and Spike agrees to take them to Willow and Xander as soon as he gets some supplies. However, it’s more like going on a tour of Spike and Dru’s relationship in Sunnydale as he reminisces about killing a homeless man on a park bench. Spike blames both Angel and Buffy for Dru’s leaving; “you’re pathetic you know that?” Buffy zings. “Yeah, you’re one to talk!” Spike retorts. He accuses Angel and Buffy of not being friends; “You’ll fight, and you’ll shag, and you’ll hate each other but you’ll never be friends; I may be love’s bitch but at least I’m man enough to admit it.” You know, sometimes Spike has these amazing moments of clarity for a Sid Vicious wanna-be vamp.

While they go on a tour de love, Oz catches Will’s scent and he and Cordy walk in on Willow and Xander making out ; Cordy, so upset, runs away, and falls through the floor and lands on some sort of beam that goes right through her stomach. Meanwhile Buffy, Spike and Angel fight some vamp cronies that are pissed Spike’s back in town; we actually catch a glimpse of Spike fighting with the good guys and now that he has perspective after some violence, he’s all smiles and agrees to be the man he was: “I’ll find her, tie her up, and torture her until she loves me again. Love’s a funny thing.” Oh, and the damn show, if you’re seeing this ep for the first time, plays an awful trick on us about Cordy; we see a funeral but it’s just Buffy and Will walking by a cemetery. But everything’s all wrong. Cordy’s mad at Xander, Oz is mad at Willow and everybody hurts (cue R.E.M.). “Oh I’m ready; I’m all over groveling” Will says. “Good, I hear sometimes it works,” Buffy replies. Except in the case of Xander and Cordy. She wants nothing to do with him and it’s heartbreaking. “Xander? Stay away from me,” she says while lying in a hospital bed. Ouch.

And after all of this, Buffy goes to see Angel and tells him that they aren’t friends. They’ll never be friends. That she can’t fool herself, or Spike for some reason. “What I want from you I can never have.” Angel doesn’t accept this; the only way they can see each other is if they don’t love the other. Which, as we know, can never be done. Love, in the Buffyverse, is never easy. Love, in the real world, never is either.

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About Sabrina Boyer: As a kid my dad would sneak scary movies past my mom and let me indulge in his horror movie fetish. I grew up watching V, Alien Nation, The Thing, The Fog (all originals) and then, in 1992 when Buffy the movie came out, I became obsessed with vampires, girl power, and all things gothic. I once stayed home from school, faked sick, and watched BTVS: the movie 6 times in a row. I know the beginning cheerleading dance by heart (still). Currently, I’m obsessing over Laurell K. Hamilton novels, and dream about Anita Blake being my best friend.

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