Fringe: The Same Old Story

By Lisa Fary

This week, Fringe gets a visit from the Exposition Fairy!

Just in case you missed the pilot last Tuesday, or the encore presentation on Sunday, or the version that was leaked online in June, the Exposition Fairy has dropped lines of awkward dialogue here and there in this week’s aptly titled episode, “The Same Old Story”, to help you get caught up.  It’s less distracting than an enhanced episode of Lost, but far more annoying.

The mad scientist hides in a closet.  He says, “This is where I’ve been for seventeen years,” referring to his stint in a mental institution.  Sonny Boy quips, “I’m the one who got you out of there, remember?”  How could we possibly forget, Sonny Boy? Even in the pilot, you never let the old guy forget it.   The Exposition Fairy dropped a similar load regarding Agent Dunham, her invisible skinned partner, and their true love before swooping by one last time to recap The Pattern.

Now that we’re all caught up, we can get to the mystery of Expando-Gut Girl and her gentleman caller’s fun pack of medical tools.

Clearly, Expando-Gut Girl is experiencing the world’s fastest pregnancy.  What surprised me was that the baby continued the rapid aging after it was born, going from infant to old man within about half an hour and resulting in a dead old guy laying in a hospital hallway, covered in afterbirth and with his umbilical cord still attached.

I’m so glad I had this in HD.

No, really. I love the gross stuff on this show. The melting jaw got me last week.  This week, I would have been happy with the Umbilical Man.  But, Fringe seemed to know it didn’t have a lot going for it this week and threw in a gratuitous eyeball removal scene.

Why remove the eyeball? Because the owner of that eyeball has been murdered and our cuddly mad scientist believes that the image of the last thing she saw is imprinted in the retina (or something like that).  The Fringe Friends need to see that image to stop the serial killer who killed the girl via pituitary gland extraction.

Yep. Pituitary gland extraction performed by Expando-Gut Girl’s gentleman caller, who is a brainy serial killer and father to Umbilical Man.  See, like Umbilical Man, this guy has a problem with rapid aging and the only way to stop the aging process is to. . . . um. . . . do something with pituitary glands.

Pituitary glands which he removes under unsanitary conditions.  Is a dingy warehouse by the docks really the best place to perform brain surgery?  How about a greasy motel room with wood panel walls? If you’re going to extract a gland and treat yourself with it, shouldn’t you at least spring for a HoJo?

Unsanitary surgical habits aside, what really bugs me about this brainy serial killer is his method.  He’s doing this because it’s necessary to keep himself alive.  Does he really need to leave the girls conscious and feeling while he pokes around in their brains?  Doesn’t that indicate that he has some other motives as well?

Fringe started out promising last week, but this was bad.  From the Exposition Fairy to the leaps in logic to the convoluted monster of the week.  It was just bad.  Sci Fi Channel bad.

Next week, Fringe gets back to its roots with another tale of mass transit gone awry. This time, a bus!

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Lisa Fary’s early exposure to classic Battlestar Galactica in 1979 is largely responsible for her lifelong interest in science fiction and her childhood ambition of being an intergalactic space cowgirl. She thinks diagramming sentences is a fun alternative to Sudoku.

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