Geek Survey: Jack Bauer, Presidential Role Model

Jack Bauer isn’t the kind of guy I want running the country.  He tortures people.  Federal and international laws are mere suggestions to him.  He has a creepy ability to go 24 hours with eating or peeing.  But, John McCain would like us to think of him as Jack Bauer.  At least, that’s what he told a Marie Claire reporter.

How much alike are John McCain and Jack Bauer?  Let’s compare:

• Jack Bauer prevented the assassination of an African-American presidential candidate.
• John McCain engages in character assassination of an African-American presidential candidate.

• Jack Bauer’s daughter, Kim, wants nothing to do with him.
• John McCain’s daughter, Meghan, is riding her dad’s campaign to a book deal (just watch, McCain Blogette will be enbookened by Thanksgiving).

• Jack Bauer was once addicted to heroin.
• John McCain’s wife was once addicted to prescription pain killers.

• Jack Bauer can get across Los Angeles county in twenty minutes at rush hour.
• John McCain can too, in his wife’s jet.

• Jack Bauer faked his own death and went into hiding to avoid the wrath of China.
• John McCain dropped out of the 2000 campaign to avoid the wrath of Bush.

• Jack Bauer’s dad masterminded terrorist plots against the United States.
• John McCain’s mom terrorized the streets of France in a new car after being told she was too old to rent one.

Jack Bauer also winds up abandoned by his country, betrayed by his father and brother, and unable to care for the woman he loves.  That’s totally a guy to look up to.

Score
The Right Wing’s Continuing Man Crush on Jack Bauer: 1
Geeks: 0

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